This morning I was reading an online newspaper article about the speech and which schools showed it, kids and parents that opted out, etc... I was browsing through the user comments when I came across one that really surprised me. I quote:
"I'm offended that people tell me I should make my kids listen to Obama and then deprogram them later. I don't make them watch pornography to teach them purity, and I don't make them smoke to teach them about the word of wisdom. Greatfully, my kids were in the Nebo school district where they didn't have to watch. And I don't need to watch it either to know it's ill effects. There are plenty of people on the media who have dissected it for me so that I know that it was simply a media ploy to get to our children."
There were ridiculous comments from people complaining about what the President SHOULD have said, comments about the health care program, issues with BUSH, all kinds of crap - this one jumped out at me as one particular pinnacle of irony. I'm fairly certain that one of the President's points was taking personal responsibility, right? This parent is raising his/her children by way of the MEDIA, instead of doing it himself/herself. Excuse me, but WTH? I'm not sure I see the parallel between listening to a brief speech for school-age children with pornography and smoking. It sounds to me like this is one of those people who expect everyone else to raise his (whatever - call it generic) children. It's like assuming that one can blithely send the kids off to school each day knowing that they'll be perfectly safe while the parent goes about their business, and that there is no real need to discuss or explain (er, "deprogram") much of anything at all with said kids. How can any parent possibly assume that children are "safe", that the local neighborhood is no kind of place that requires deprogramming?
I have a sister who lives on a blueberry farm in a rural area in the Northwest. Her young children come home from school with all kinds of questions about things they heard from their friends, topics that I wasn't even aware existed until high school or even college. Fortunately, this parent has created an atmosphere in which children feel welcome to question and discuss, and they understand that if they hear anything that makes them curious or uncomfortable they are free to talk to their parents first - and that they will recieve a non-condescending answer appropriate to their level of understanding (which, if I may remind all of us, is much more developed than it was in my day. Get off my lawn, whippersnappers!). Another family I know has children so repressed and sheltered that they don't even know what questions to ASK, let alone how to discuss current topics.
I taught high school for a few months recently, and I saw that the lack of parental responsibility was rampant - translating into a lack of student responsibility. Parents, stop giving your kids what you think they want, and start giving them what they need!
OK, sorry, something of a tangent. I see that the main problem buried in the furor over the President's School speech is not his message, or even really his potential message, it is the fact that we, as a collective people, no longer trust the office of the President of the United States. It's a loss that has been eroding for quite some time now, with major motivating force powered by Nixon and getting a healthy boost from Clinton (yes, Reagan wasn't perfect, and yes, issues have been had by many with both Bush Sr. and Bush Jr.), and culminating with a current President who started off with extraordinarily high expectations and falling rapidly through major economic difficulties and public perception problems. Guess what? It's not Obama's fault. He needs to take responsibility and make changes, YES, but...
... SO DO WE.
In a way, I'm pleased that so many people have gotten so up-in-arms about this relatively small issue of the President's School speech - maybe now they'll pay attention to the larger issues at hand, educate themselves (by reading and listening to more than just one talk-show host or talk-radio station), encourage and expect the President and our other elected officials to take responsibility for their actions, and translate that behavior into taking responsibility for themselves and their children. As American citizens, it's the least we can do.
Really.
* * * * *
In a not-really-related-but-sorta sidenote, I watched the season finale of "10 Things I Hate About You" on ABC Family (the TV series, not the movie - don't be "judgy") and the main character, Kat, led a school protest of uniforms and civil rights violations. Eventually, the protest ended with her father coming to her: "suspension", "college", "stop it and go to class." She didn't like it, but she did decide to concede for the "big picture" and because her father told her to. The thing I thought was interesting was that as she explained to the last two protesters that she was calling off the fight she didn't tell them her dad made her stop (which was the truth). She took responsibility for leading the protest and she took responsibility for calling it off. (Later, she also took responsibility for sticking with her principles anyway, but that's a different point.) Taking responsibility... what a concept.
Ethan Peck, grandson of Gregory Peck - "Patrick" from 10 Things. Yeah. Good show. It's entirely possible I would vote for EP if HE ran for President... I'd listen to his State of the Union Address like it was a Top 40 radio hit. Seriously. Just LISTEN to his voice!Ahem.
6 comments:
My kids are in Nebo district too...one reason why we homeschool. ;-) I was also extremely irritated by Schoolgate.
Repressed? You make it sound like our kids are about to break into a hedonistic binge at any moment. And in this world, SHELTERED is exactly what I want them to be. I'd rather have them come ask me questions WHEN THEY ARE READY than try to force it on them at someone else's timetable.
Sorry, I only have 6 kids so I shouldn't talk like I have any basis for my opinion here. :+)
(It's probably too late for me to be posting stuff to the internet ... you'll probably be the 3rd or 4th person I've offended with my FB or blog replies. Need more sleep!)
You're absolutely right. I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, no powers of observation or any kind of experience with teaching children, and am certainly not even allowed my own opinion. You did kind of blow the whole "don't identify so that no one gets embarrassed or defensive when using an illustration to make a point" thing. Oops.
Sounds like you're 4 for 4 - not so much for your reply, more for missing the point of the post entirely. Oops again.
Get some sleep, would ya?
Hooray Cyd!!!!!!!!!
Great post. I felt our school was hasty because they only gave us the morning before the speech was to take place to give notice of whether or not we wanted our children could watch it. They redeemed themselves and decided to tape the Presidents address and play it at another time. I personally felt as though Obama should have just scheduled it for an early evening so the children could have watched it with their families and I think that would have eliminated most of the controversy...or atleast made it a parent day at school. If it had been done that way I feel so many would not have felt like Obama had a hidden agenda by speaking to our children. I totally agree that there are too many parents who don't take enough responsibility for their children's learning and behavior as well as a lot of us not informing ourselves with what is going on in Washington and all over our nation so-to-speak. I have no clue what Ringleader was all worked up about...missed their point and apparently they missed yours as well.
I may only have one child, age 4, but regardless of how much I try to protect her from the bad things of the world, deprograming (a.k.a. teaching) is absolutely necessary, even at age 4. We don't live in a bubble and I don't keep her at home every minute of every day. I have had a lot of opportunity to think about deprograming the last week or so due to our current location and the cultural differences that go with it, and I have been "deprograming" my child since she was at least 2. It's absolutely necessary as children observe the world around them (unless they are homeschooled and allowed no access to the outside world).
It's foolish of parents to think they can protect their children from everything. It's also not healthy to put off teaching them about something just because you aren't ready to talk about it. As you stated, it's best to encourage an open relationship with your children by answering their questions honestly from an early age.
And to those parents that freaked out about their kids hearing a speech from the president, do you really think your kids aren't getting any other info you don't want them to have at school? I guarantee they are, and they are getting it from their peers. Best to accept that you need to be deprograming from an early age.
Thanks for the thought provoking post.
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