I'm nervous.
It takes (a rumored) two months to apply for a student visa in the UK, and you can't get the visa without an official letter from the school, which they won't send you until you've put down a deposit and sent them a "letter of good conduct" that you have to get from your local police department proving that you're not a serial killer or serial bad parker or whatnot, and who knows how long that will take? Also, postgraduate students are guaranteed a spot in on-campus housing, but only if they declare their intent to attend and send in their initial deposit and housing fee by July 31st.
Crap.
It looks like I'll be stopping by the police station in the morning (I went to the temple this morning, so I suppose this is something novel, at least) before work - then I go straight out to Tooele for a Girls' Night with neices and sis's-in-law. Saturday has me in downtown Salt Lake all day, and Monday I head to Ogden to help out with the BHS Drama Presidency retreat (looooong story). I'll be home and sitting down at my desk sometime Wednesday night... except that this next week is Changeover, which (is not in any way vampiric - sorry, Twilight fans - and) means that I could conceiveably be at the theatre for 10-14-hour days. So, though I'll do what I can over the computer on Friday, it looks like Sunday might be the only day I'll have for paperwork before we're on into August. Sunday, between 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM, and between 4:00 PM and 6:15 PM, anyway.
Crap. Now I'm REALLY nervous.
Oh, did I forget to mention? I was accepted to the University of Exeter in Cornwall-Devon, England. Classes start sometime in October.
SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!
P.S. Also, I'm supposed to sing at the retreat, practice my music for choir rehearsal on Sunday, slog through Breaking Dawn, and buy a new swimsuit. At least the laundry's already in progress...
P.P.S. The ponies are finished! I will post pictures, I promise!
P.P.P.S. I WILL put up some pictures and fireworks and excitement and all - it's just been a little crazy, and I didn't realize that getting the applications in was less than half the work.
P.P.P.P.S Did I mention that I was actually accepted at both schools? I was, but it turns out I applied for the wrong program at the other school. They would have taken me anyway - instead, they're going to hold my application for the correct program for the fall of 2010. Just think - maybe maybe maybe I could go to England for two years, and come back with TWO Master's degrees! Uber squeeeeeeeeee!!!
July 30, 2009
July 26, 2009
July 23, 2009
July 21, 2009
Official Geekhood
I saw Star Trek for the fourth time tonight (yes, it's still in a few theaters).
Liked it very nearly as much as I did the first time.
Wowsers.
* * * * *
After talking to a friend today, I've decided to try pre-natal vitamins to make my hair grow, rather than cutting it short. I'll get a good "trim" just before I leave for school.
* * * * *
"School", you say? Details coming soon.
* * * * *
"Redouble" is an odd word, and I don't think it's used correctly. Say, for example, the phrase "Redouble your efforts" - that would imply that you'd already been told to "double your efforts" and that's just not something you hear often. Plus, if you're going to redouble something, you're doubling it again - or double-doubling, if you will... which could be acurately described as "double-squaring" or "quadrupling". Telling someone to quadruple their efforts has the benefit of specificity (though telling someone to double-squared their efforts is just silly), especially if those efforts have already been doubled... but I suppose it smacks of overkill. "Redouble" is merely redundant. (Speaking of, why don't you ever hear the word "dundant"?)
Liked it very nearly as much as I did the first time.
Wowsers.
"She's seen it HOW many times? Sheesh, I could never sit still THAT long!"
* * * * *
* * * * *
After talking to a friend today, I've decided to try pre-natal vitamins to make my hair grow, rather than cutting it short. I'll get a good "trim" just before I leave for school.
* * * * *
"School", you say? Details coming soon.
* * * * *
"Redouble" is an odd word, and I don't think it's used correctly. Say, for example, the phrase "Redouble your efforts" - that would imply that you'd already been told to "double your efforts" and that's just not something you hear often. Plus, if you're going to redouble something, you're doubling it again - or double-doubling, if you will... which could be acurately described as "double-squaring" or "quadrupling". Telling someone to quadruple their efforts has the benefit of specificity (though telling someone to double-squared their efforts is just silly), especially if those efforts have already been doubled... but I suppose it smacks of overkill. "Redouble" is merely redundant. (Speaking of, why don't you ever hear the word "dundant"?)
July 20, 2009
July 19, 2009
Sunday Snippet
A good friend and I sang an arrangement of this song in church today, with her mom on piano, and her brother on clarinet. It was nothing like MoTab, of course, but it went really well. I always enjoy singing with her - I get the impression that we make each other sound even better. Someone mentioned today that our voices are "complimentary".
I also started singing again with a local choir, the Sterling Singers. They really are an excellent group, and we're putting together a 9/11 commemorative concert. You'll all want to come - it's September 11 and 12, and the music is incredible. One of the songs is based on a poem by Christina Rossetti - it's our most difficult song, and is really unusual, and will be amazing once we get it down.
Echo
Come to me in the silence of the night;
Come in the speaking silence of a dream;
Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright
As sunlight on a stream;
Come back in tears,
O memory, hope and love of finished years.
O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,
Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,
Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;
Where thirsting longing eyes
Watch the slow door
That opening, letting in, lets out no more.
Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live
My very life again though cold in death;
Come back to me in dreams, that I may give
Pulse for pulse, breath for breath:
Speak low, lean low,
As long ago, my love, how long ago.
I'll put up an MP3 of the music if I can find one.
* * * * *
I was also invited to a callback tomorrow for a show I didn't actually audition for... I'd love to do it, so I'm calling the other school in England first thing in the morning to see if they have any status updates for me. At this point, I figure if I get in to this second school, I'll go. If I don't, I'll try for this show and a job here in Salt Lake, and attend the program I really want to get into at the first school next fall. (They've already accepted me for a different program, one I applied for accidentally, but the program I should have applied for is full. I'm fairly certain I could get in for next year.)
Tomorrow morning should be interesting.
July 18, 2009
July 17, 2009
Catch and Release (But Watch the Instant Replay)
I really don't have anything to blog about today. I hope y'all are not too disappointed. I was thinking of pictures, or a video link, or a Dr. Seuss poem... and decided they were all too much trouble (sorry).
Instead, a mini-movie review - I watched Catch and Release last night. I had heard it was a pretty mediocre movie, so I never bothered to watch it until I saw it on the shelf at the library... and it really is a pretty mediocre movie. The performances are all right - although I couldn't remember Jennifer Garner's last name until I saw it in the credits, which bugged - and overall the plot really doesn't make much sense. Not a lot in the way of character motivation, either. What it does have, though, is some seriously hot kissing and make-out scenes. It's implied that the two main characters have sex - none of that is shown though. Really no need, since the first kiss and then later making out when they almost get caught and have to stop more than covers whatever titillation the non-super-spicy crowd would be looking for (i.e., no clothes come off). On that note - I was going to put up a Youtube video or two here with clips, but I decided you can go find it yourself if you're interested... just in case my mom reads this entry.
Turn up the air-conditioning before you watch it - trust me.
Instead, a mini-movie review - I watched Catch and Release last night. I had heard it was a pretty mediocre movie, so I never bothered to watch it until I saw it on the shelf at the library... and it really is a pretty mediocre movie. The performances are all right - although I couldn't remember Jennifer Garner's last name until I saw it in the credits, which bugged - and overall the plot really doesn't make much sense. Not a lot in the way of character motivation, either. What it does have, though, is some seriously hot kissing and make-out scenes. It's implied that the two main characters have sex - none of that is shown though. Really no need, since the first kiss and then later making out when they almost get caught and have to stop more than covers whatever titillation the non-super-spicy crowd would be looking for (i.e., no clothes come off). On that note - I was going to put up a Youtube video or two here with clips, but I decided you can go find it yourself if you're interested... just in case my mom reads this entry.
Turn up the air-conditioning before you watch it - trust me.
July 16, 2009
Updates
Current Events
Work: I'm still working on Scarlet Pimpernel at the Hale (sorry, Shanna, I keep remembering and then forgetting - argh! - that I need to call you back!) and recently have been handling "notes". There are a series of messages that get passed from Marguerite to Chauvelin, and from Chauvelin to Marguerite, and from Percy to his crew. The ones from M to C and vice-versa are now filled with a variety of insults, some in bad French, one involving "your mother", and one that just says "You suck." I really hope the actors take the time to read them all, because one of them is going to make someone bust up laughing, I just know it. I also created a bunch of SP "calling cards" - I am now fairly awesome at drawing a scarlet pimpernel flower. That's my work you'll see pinned to the guillotine! Today I also worked on (surprise!) some new body bags. (Seriously. Who knew that specialty would come up so often?) Tomorrow I hope to help start painting the large carousel horses for the opening number - we've already glittered and bejeweled the living heck out of four medium-sized ones.
Grad School: I interviewed with one school (FYI: six AM here is one PM over there) and had a great conversation with a very nice lady. Eventually, we figured out that I had applied to the wrong program, and I should probably talk to their admissions officer about switching over to the right one... but if I decided to try the program I accidentally applied to, she was offering me a spot anyway. Heh. The admissions guy finally emailed me back and said all the places were taken in the program I really wanted, but he'd hold my application for next year (*sigh*), so now I am torn. I'm still waiting to hear back from the other school I applied to, though, and trying to figure out whom I can call and pester (politely) there.
Other: The hair situation is not getting any better - I'm hating the cut/cuts more with each passing day, and am thinking the solution may be to go for a dramatic short/spiky look and come as close to starting over as I realistically can, without actually shaving (though I'm still VERY tempted). I plan to see Harry Potter 6 again on Saturday. I will be jogging and cutting sugar again shortly - this time I'm waiting for the pain in my neck to ease up (no, that's not a euphemism) that was caused by the wrenching it received for the first time ever on Jet Star 2 at Lagoon. I'm so old. I'm hoping to start work shortly on putting together a book with a friend of mine, and I'd like to get into Spanish and dance classes before I leave for school in the fall (fingers crossed, making it very hard to type). I'm slightly panicked by the fact that I saw "Back to School" supplies on sale at Walmart today, though I should probably be relieved they weren't setting up those displays back in May. I got the new Daughtry album today - I may talk myself into getting up and running in the morning as a reason to listen to it. My headache's finally going away, and it's time for me to go to bed. Later!
Work: I'm still working on Scarlet Pimpernel at the Hale (sorry, Shanna, I keep remembering and then forgetting - argh! - that I need to call you back!) and recently have been handling "notes". There are a series of messages that get passed from Marguerite to Chauvelin, and from Chauvelin to Marguerite, and from Percy to his crew. The ones from M to C and vice-versa are now filled with a variety of insults, some in bad French, one involving "your mother", and one that just says "You suck." I really hope the actors take the time to read them all, because one of them is going to make someone bust up laughing, I just know it. I also created a bunch of SP "calling cards" - I am now fairly awesome at drawing a scarlet pimpernel flower. That's my work you'll see pinned to the guillotine! Today I also worked on (surprise!) some new body bags. (Seriously. Who knew that specialty would come up so often?) Tomorrow I hope to help start painting the large carousel horses for the opening number - we've already glittered and bejeweled the living heck out of four medium-sized ones.
Grad School: I interviewed with one school (FYI: six AM here is one PM over there) and had a great conversation with a very nice lady. Eventually, we figured out that I had applied to the wrong program, and I should probably talk to their admissions officer about switching over to the right one... but if I decided to try the program I accidentally applied to, she was offering me a spot anyway. Heh. The admissions guy finally emailed me back and said all the places were taken in the program I really wanted, but he'd hold my application for next year (*sigh*), so now I am torn. I'm still waiting to hear back from the other school I applied to, though, and trying to figure out whom I can call and pester (politely) there.
Other: The hair situation is not getting any better - I'm hating the cut/cuts more with each passing day, and am thinking the solution may be to go for a dramatic short/spiky look and come as close to starting over as I realistically can, without actually shaving (though I'm still VERY tempted). I plan to see Harry Potter 6 again on Saturday. I will be jogging and cutting sugar again shortly - this time I'm waiting for the pain in my neck to ease up (no, that's not a euphemism) that was caused by the wrenching it received for the first time ever on Jet Star 2 at Lagoon. I'm so old. I'm hoping to start work shortly on putting together a book with a friend of mine, and I'd like to get into Spanish and dance classes before I leave for school in the fall (fingers crossed, making it very hard to type). I'm slightly panicked by the fact that I saw "Back to School" supplies on sale at Walmart today, though I should probably be relieved they weren't setting up those displays back in May. I got the new Daughtry album today - I may talk myself into getting up and running in the morning as a reason to listen to it. My headache's finally going away, and it's time for me to go to bed. Later!
July 15, 2009
July 15
Here it is: my (hopefully spoiler-free) review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (AKA Harry Potter 6).
First, a little bit of context - I re-read books One through Six, finishing just over a week ago. There is a LOT of stuff in those books! Details, and subplots, and teenage trauma, oh my! Then I took a few more days and re-watched the first five movies. Remember how terrible the first one was, even though we all saw it and loved it? Remember how the second had better special effects, even though the acting was still both overwrought and wooden, and in sticking so closely to the book it actually verged on boring? Remember how the third brought us both Gary Oldman and an artistic sensibility (partnered with a ruthless editor), leaving behind a movie many still regard as their favorite from the series? Remember how the fourth gave us the guy from Twilight and a flat-nosed villian, plus a truly scary/creepy tone and conclusion? Remember how the fifth saved us from watching the dire teenage angst we feared from the book by making a few neat changes to tidy up, giving Harry Something Productive To Do (which was also fabulously directed), and then broke our hearts (even though we knew it was coming) by simply and starkly killing off Gary Oldman/Sirius Black? Remember how the sixth somehow managed to be funny and grown up and visually subtle, exciting, AND beautiful? Well, you will. As soon as you see it. (Also, I should probably add that I attended the 12:20 showing of the movie, after a day spent out in the sun at an amusement park. I did have chocolate, so I was fully alert and, I believe, completely unbiased. Well, maybe a little biased. But I did have chocolate.)
In my opinion, #6 is the best MOVIE of the series. Within the first 15 minutes I had turned to my friend and said, "I really REALLY like this new director." Inside the next 20 I was completely enthralled by the changes in the art direction. (Narcissa Malfoy's black-and-white hair, versus the flat blonde in the books, is GENIUS. And I really need her coat to come live in my closet.) I'm no expert on movie making, but I thought the camera angles, shifts, pacing, and special effects were all very well done. And at some point, the Harry Potter kids figured out they could actually act, and responded accordingly. Who knew?
That said, in many ways it probably deviates the most from its source material - there are some elements from the book that fans will probably consider extremely important that are totally changed or cut altogether from the movie. (I am fairly annoyed about one of those cuts myself - I can concede that it may not have been all that vital to the franchise as a whole, but it's pretty darn close and this new director - love him! - had better take care of justifying things in the last two movies.) If you're an absolute purist, this movie could annoy you - but if that's the case I'm betting you didn't like HP: Order of the Phoenix, either.
Did I mention it was funny? Because it totally is. There are lines lifted straight from the book, and then all kinds of little character asides and moments that had the audience laughing out loud repeatedly. SO MUCH FUN.
The major stuff (as regards to actual plot points) is all there. The ways the characters get there has been muddled up a bit. (There's an entirely new scene regarding the Burrow while the gang's home for Christmas that is totally intense and worked for me, though it did bug my friend.) It felt long and was long, but I was riveted to the screen for every minute of it. It's a beautiful and beautifully done movie, and I will definitely see it again.
I'm thinking Saturday, if I can get a ticket...
(Over-Dramatic Title:) Requiem for That Which Never Was, or In Memoriam
I am forgetting.
I am forgetting, and it makes me a little sad.
I am forgetting the sound of your voice, and the way you looked at me when you were sure I was watching. I am forgetting my quick intake of breath when you would touch me unexpectedly. The ever-present awareness, consciousness of you is finally fading. I have forgotten the feeling of our fingers intertwined, though not that of my hands in your hair. I will forget.
I am forgetting your passion and humor and inability to be still. Gone for me now is the sound of your laughter, the sincerity behind your promises. I still breathe you in suddenly, when I am no longer thinking of you – the teasing memory of your cologne may be all I will keep of you.
I will forget you, as a dream of hope and impossible possibilities is forgotten; as things real and not real fade away. I will forget, as you have forgotten me.
I will remember you, and I will forget all that I have felt, all that was said, and all that you are.
I am forgetting, and it makes me a little sad…
...and relieved.
*
I am forgetting, and it makes me a little sad.
I am forgetting the sound of your voice, and the way you looked at me when you were sure I was watching. I am forgetting my quick intake of breath when you would touch me unexpectedly. The ever-present awareness, consciousness of you is finally fading. I have forgotten the feeling of our fingers intertwined, though not that of my hands in your hair. I will forget.
I am forgetting your passion and humor and inability to be still. Gone for me now is the sound of your laughter, the sincerity behind your promises. I still breathe you in suddenly, when I am no longer thinking of you – the teasing memory of your cologne may be all I will keep of you.
I will forget you, as a dream of hope and impossible possibilities is forgotten; as things real and not real fade away. I will forget, as you have forgotten me.
I will remember you, and I will forget all that I have felt, all that was said, and all that you are.
I am forgetting, and it makes me a little sad…
...and relieved.
*
July 14, 2009
Out the Door
My schedule:
- Lagoon-A-Beach (water park)
- Lagoon (amusement park)
- Harry Potter 6 Midnight(ish) showing
- Family Birthday "Beach"-themed party
- Girl's Night with party-animal ladies from the ward
- Work
- Work
- Girl's Hallmark Hall of Fame Cheesy Movie Fest
It looks like I won't really be sleeping until sometime this weekend. I may get a nap on Thursday, though! I'm off to go sunscreen up. Later!
- Lagoon-A-Beach (water park)
- Lagoon (amusement park)
- Harry Potter 6 Midnight(ish) showing
- Family Birthday "Beach"-themed party
- Girl's Night with party-animal ladies from the ward
- Work
- Work
- Girl's Hallmark Hall of Fame Cheesy Movie Fest
It looks like I won't really be sleeping until sometime this weekend. I may get a nap on Thursday, though! I'm off to go sunscreen up. Later!
July 13, 2009
Sexual Metaphors
In which we shall see: ... NOTHING that in any way resembles anything you might be thinking the title of this post refers to! (Seriously. Where are your minds?!? Sheesh.) Also, bad French insults.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was chatting with a friend last night (porch + friend + perfect temperature evening = AWESOME) and she was telling me about a recent experience she'd had with a very nice boy. They'd gone out a couple of times and had fun, but she had to postpone the third date due to a change in plans. She tells him she'll be out of town, and hears... silence. Finally, he says, "So, be honest with me. Are we just friends?"
Now, take a moment and see if you can spot the relevant issues here.
Ready?
OK. 1 - They had been on two dates. 2 - She was informing him of a change in plans. If the conclusion you arrived at looks like, "Wow! That was quite the illogical leap and something of an overreaction on his part!" then we are currently in the same spot. I promised a while ago not to offer advice (only sporadically successful, but making progress) but I did not say I would refrain from pointing out FACTS. People: TWO DATES DO NOT A RELATIONSHIP MAKE. And: A CHANGE IN PLANS DOES NOT EQUAL PERSONAL REJECTION OR A "BREAKUP". Finally: ALL THOSE OUT THERE WHO ACTUALLY DATE (PARTICULARLY IF YOU LIVE IN UTAH), CHILL THE HECK OUT. Keep moving forward, be proactive, sure - AND RELAX.
Once your ears stop ringing from the force of my capslock, let me share with you the conclusion my friend and I came to.
This very nice boy needs to date. A lot. Several different women concurrently, if possible. "But," you say (if you've never read anything I've written or are simply interested in playing Devil's Advocate*), "he's looking for The One! Isn't it nice to see a guy so invested in the person he's dating?" To which I respond, resoundingly, NO. Again, two dates do not a relationship make (and are not even technically defined as "dating").
Dating, boys and girls, is all about shopping.
My friend and I pictured this concept, and immediately discovered a flaw. Women, on one hand, can shop for hours. Window shopping, comparison shopping, trying on all kinds of styles and price ranges (you see where I'm going with this?) - but men, on the other hand, generally don't. Ask any guy - he knows what he needs, he goes to the store, he buys it, he goes home. The End.
Except....
... for Car Shopping. Where dating for women is Shopping Shopping, dating for men is (should be) Car Shopping. Ask any man you know - "When trying to buy a car, would you purchase the first one you looked at?" Not hardly, Boy Wonder. Men attack car shopping like women attack shoe shopping - it's a painstaking, methodical, and oddly enjoyable process.
They sort through many attractive options, and make plans to see and spend time with as many as possible. They will eventually narrow their range of choices, but only after they've weighed all candidates carefully and even had a few return visits. Oh, sure, there are guys out there who find the perfect car the first time out - but it really is rare, and highly unlikely in general.
So why can't guys treat Dating like Car Shopping? I am not in any way suggesting that men treat their dates like they treat their cars (unless their garage is nicer than their apartment and the money spent on the car - willingly - exceeds their rent payment), just that they look at dating as the same kind of process. I'm thinking they'd have a lot less anxiety about it, and get a much bigger return on their investment. (No, I am NOT digressing into a Stock Market metaphor. Too many bulls and other farm animals in that one!) Trust me, gentlemen - women are shopping when they're out with you! You might as well play along.
Thus endeth the lesson.
* * * * *
Today at work I spent much of my time coming up with grammatically incorrect French insults like, "Vous etre un gauche couchon (oink oink)" and "Je ne sais pas pourquoi t'aime un moron" and "Mangeons escargot avec les chats. Idiote." A few of them even got a little nasty - but they were in French, so who can really tell? I can't wait for the actors to open these little notes every night, and NOT bust out laughing.
Yes. I got paid to do this.
* * * * *
Watch out for falling turtles,
Cyd
*I intend to someday come up with a card game called "Devil's Advocate".
*** If I'm counting correctly, this was my 200th post. I suppose it's only appropriate that a blog that started because of dating angst should milestone with it, too.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was chatting with a friend last night (porch + friend + perfect temperature evening = AWESOME) and she was telling me about a recent experience she'd had with a very nice boy. They'd gone out a couple of times and had fun, but she had to postpone the third date due to a change in plans. She tells him she'll be out of town, and hears... silence. Finally, he says, "So, be honest with me. Are we just friends?"
Now, take a moment and see if you can spot the relevant issues here.
Ready?
OK. 1 - They had been on two dates. 2 - She was informing him of a change in plans. If the conclusion you arrived at looks like, "Wow! That was quite the illogical leap and something of an overreaction on his part!" then we are currently in the same spot. I promised a while ago not to offer advice (only sporadically successful, but making progress) but I did not say I would refrain from pointing out FACTS. People: TWO DATES DO NOT A RELATIONSHIP MAKE. And: A CHANGE IN PLANS DOES NOT EQUAL PERSONAL REJECTION OR A "BREAKUP". Finally: ALL THOSE OUT THERE WHO ACTUALLY DATE (PARTICULARLY IF YOU LIVE IN UTAH), CHILL THE HECK OUT. Keep moving forward, be proactive, sure - AND RELAX.
Once your ears stop ringing from the force of my capslock, let me share with you the conclusion my friend and I came to.
This very nice boy needs to date. A lot. Several different women concurrently, if possible. "But," you say (if you've never read anything I've written or are simply interested in playing Devil's Advocate*), "he's looking for The One! Isn't it nice to see a guy so invested in the person he's dating?" To which I respond, resoundingly, NO. Again, two dates do not a relationship make (and are not even technically defined as "dating").
Dating, boys and girls, is all about shopping.
My friend and I pictured this concept, and immediately discovered a flaw. Women, on one hand, can shop for hours. Window shopping, comparison shopping, trying on all kinds of styles and price ranges (you see where I'm going with this?) - but men, on the other hand, generally don't. Ask any guy - he knows what he needs, he goes to the store, he buys it, he goes home. The End.
Except....
... for Car Shopping. Where dating for women is Shopping Shopping, dating for men is (should be) Car Shopping. Ask any man you know - "When trying to buy a car, would you purchase the first one you looked at?" Not hardly, Boy Wonder. Men attack car shopping like women attack shoe shopping - it's a painstaking, methodical, and oddly enjoyable process.
They sort through many attractive options, and make plans to see and spend time with as many as possible. They will eventually narrow their range of choices, but only after they've weighed all candidates carefully and even had a few return visits. Oh, sure, there are guys out there who find the perfect car the first time out - but it really is rare, and highly unlikely in general.So why can't guys treat Dating like Car Shopping? I am not in any way suggesting that men treat their dates like they treat their cars (unless their garage is nicer than their apartment and the money spent on the car - willingly - exceeds their rent payment), just that they look at dating as the same kind of process. I'm thinking they'd have a lot less anxiety about it, and get a much bigger return on their investment. (No, I am NOT digressing into a Stock Market metaphor. Too many bulls and other farm animals in that one!) Trust me, gentlemen - women are shopping when they're out with you! You might as well play along.
Thus endeth the lesson.
* * * * *
Today at work I spent much of my time coming up with grammatically incorrect French insults like, "Vous etre un gauche couchon (oink oink)" and "Je ne sais pas pourquoi t'aime un moron" and "Mangeons escargot avec les chats. Idiote." A few of them even got a little nasty - but they were in French, so who can really tell? I can't wait for the actors to open these little notes every night, and NOT bust out laughing.
Yes. I got paid to do this.
* * * * *
Watch out for falling turtles,
Cyd
*I intend to someday come up with a card game called "Devil's Advocate".
*** If I'm counting correctly, this was my 200th post. I suppose it's only appropriate that a blog that started because of dating angst should milestone with it, too.
July 12, 2009
Sunday Snippet
Today's Sacrament Meeting topic was "Covenants". Webster made an appearance, for the first time is what has been quite a while for me - and then one speaker discussed covenants using a series of metaphors (including M16s) and the British Military Covenant:
He spoke of this agreement being between the Crown, the public, and the soliders, and then paralleled this official covenant with the agreement that exists between God, the Church, and the Saints (regular members of the church). Substitute "saint" for "soldier", "Church" for "Army", and "God" for "Nation". There are some places to incorporate the blessings the Lord has promised the Church (I'll have to get the re-write from the speaker), and "Armistice Day" is "Easter" as the time we commemorate the Atonement of the Savior. Try reading it with those changes. Pretty cool.
Then, in Relief Society, we talked about "Charity". We started out with the teacher passing around brownies - I thoroughly enjoyed mine, knowing that there'd probably be some kind of object lesson, or reason I shouldn't have eaten it right off... and the teacher goes on to say that she woke up in a panic this morning because she hadn't gotten any chocolate for the lesson, and so she made brownies since she wasn't going to go to the store. The End. (It's good to know about these little traditions from ward to ward... heh.)
Right at the end she asked the class about experiences we'd had with charity, and I thought about my experience teaching at Brighton. Sure, I got paid - but the money in no way covered the actual time and effort I put into that job. Bottom line was that I was doing the job as a service to my friend (and to some extent the students)... and the real benefit I saw (today, in thinking about it) was that I learned what I was capable of. I found, through service, that I could do and be more than I had thought possible. So when we smile at people in the store even though we're feeling very grumpy, when we suppress road rage and let another car in even when we're in a hurry, when we help someone else even though we feel we don't have the time to accomplish even what we need to do... that's the chance to be more than we were. And that's really what charity (the Pure Love of Christ) will do for us.
Soldiers will be called upon to make personal sacrifices – including the ultimate sacrifice – in the service of the Nation. In putting the needs of the Nation and the Army before their own, they forego some of the rights enjoyed by those outside the Armed Forces. In return, British soldiers must always be able to expect fair treatment, to be valued and respected as individuals, and that they (and their families) will be sustained and rewarded by commensurate terms and conditions of service. In the same way the unique nature of military land operations means that the Army differs from all other institutions, and must be sustained and provided for accordingly by the Nation. This mutual obligation forms the Military Covenant between the Nation, the Army and each individual soldier; an unbreakable common bond of identity, loyalty and responsibility which has sustained the Army throughout its history. It has perhaps its greatest manifestation in the annual commemoration of Armistice Day, when the Nation keeps covenant with those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, giving their lives in action.
He spoke of this agreement being between the Crown, the public, and the soliders, and then paralleled this official covenant with the agreement that exists between God, the Church, and the Saints (regular members of the church). Substitute "saint" for "soldier", "Church" for "Army", and "God" for "Nation". There are some places to incorporate the blessings the Lord has promised the Church (I'll have to get the re-write from the speaker), and "Armistice Day" is "Easter" as the time we commemorate the Atonement of the Savior. Try reading it with those changes. Pretty cool.
Then, in Relief Society, we talked about "Charity". We started out with the teacher passing around brownies - I thoroughly enjoyed mine, knowing that there'd probably be some kind of object lesson, or reason I shouldn't have eaten it right off... and the teacher goes on to say that she woke up in a panic this morning because she hadn't gotten any chocolate for the lesson, and so she made brownies since she wasn't going to go to the store. The End. (It's good to know about these little traditions from ward to ward... heh.)
Right at the end she asked the class about experiences we'd had with charity, and I thought about my experience teaching at Brighton. Sure, I got paid - but the money in no way covered the actual time and effort I put into that job. Bottom line was that I was doing the job as a service to my friend (and to some extent the students)... and the real benefit I saw (today, in thinking about it) was that I learned what I was capable of. I found, through service, that I could do and be more than I had thought possible. So when we smile at people in the store even though we're feeling very grumpy, when we suppress road rage and let another car in even when we're in a hurry, when we help someone else even though we feel we don't have the time to accomplish even what we need to do... that's the chance to be more than we were. And that's really what charity (the Pure Love of Christ) will do for us.
July 11, 2009
Dem Bones
I think I may have a weather-forecasting hip. Or, more accurately, an exercise-avoiding hip. I've been working all week, except Tuesday, and not working out because I had convinced myself that my bones and joints needed to rest and recover. Since it's been a good week (in an "I don't need to make an emergency stop at the chiropractor's after all" kind of way) I was determined to get up this morning and hit the road.
This morning I woke up with my hip aching, and a gray, drizzly sky outdoors. Either I've got a weather joint to the left of my lower back, or my subconcious has taken over and brought my hatred of exercise to mocking life. (Oh, and Tuesday? I had planned to get up and go running NO MATTER WHAT, and I woke up with a migraine.)
You tell me.
This morning I woke up with my hip aching, and a gray, drizzly sky outdoors. Either I've got a weather joint to the left of my lower back, or my subconcious has taken over and brought my hatred of exercise to mocking life. (Oh, and Tuesday? I had planned to get up and go running NO MATTER WHAT, and I woke up with a migraine.)
You tell me.
July 10, 2009
(I've been craving the onion straws for weeks, now)
Yes, Doug. It came in a square Blue Bunny BOX.
July 09, 2009
Here's Your (Patriotic) Sign
I finished decorating the world's coolest hideout today, and am now tired. So before I go clean my car, in lieu of anything requiring actual thought (sorry!), here's something I got in a recent email. I did, at least, fix the wonky formatting. (You're welcome!)
* * *
'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it!
Lastly, ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.
* * *
I agree. Also, heh. And ouch.
This has at least at some point been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. I didn't check, so I don't know if it's true. Whoever wrote it, it's nice to have a little common sense floating around on occasion...
* * *
'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it!
Lastly, ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.
* * *
I agree. Also, heh. And ouch.
This has at least at some point been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. I didn't check, so I don't know if it's true. Whoever wrote it, it's nice to have a little common sense floating around on occasion...
July 08, 2009
Just for Fun
This made me very happy.
Also, one of my (former) students caught a fish and named it after me. Apparently we have a lot in common... we're both "green". Go figure.
* * * * *
Also, one of my (former) students caught a fish and named it after me. Apparently we have a lot in common... we're both "green". Go figure.
* * * * * This morning (6:00 AM) I had a phone interview with one of the graduate schools I applied to in England - it was going really well, and then I realized I had applied to the wrong program. The one I applied to sounds fascinating, though, so... who knows?
July 07, 2009
Bookends
Yesterday was an interesting day. It started with me "breaking up" with and unintentionally hurting the feelings of someone I really hadn't thought cared at all, and ended with me walking away from someone else I'm fairly certain won't even know I'm gone. It was all a surprisingly timely commentary on my post on Closure - if the one person hadn't pushed the issue we would have just faded apart, and maybe faded back in at some point (and who knows, maybe we still will - but at least her feelings wouldn't have been so hurt); and with the other I get to really exercise my theory on the possibility of being OK without real "closure".
It was intriguing to see, too, how both these people operated under my new idea of happiness. In the conversation I was having with my boss we were talking about how people will go to strange lengths and do very odd things under the guise of "finding happiness"; and then when "it" fades or they don't find what they're looking for, they'll keep going in even further and more disturbing directions. My comment to my boss was "Happiness is not where you find it - happiness is where you left it." That's not necessarily always the case, of course, but the idea is worth thinking about. We usually learn fairly early in life how to be happy - what to do, how to behave, the kinds of things that bring us joy. Then we grow up, and get confused, and try new things... and start branching away from those early lessons, rather than sticking to them. Both of the people I interacted with yesterday (and the one my boss and I were talking about) knew how to be happy - and they both made choices that perhaps felt good and looked exciting, but led them to the opposite of happiness.
I guess we need to do that every so often, so that we know what the opposite of happiness feels like - still, it was a powerful insight to me that, instead of trying to go somewhere else to find happiness, I need to remember how to be happy and then take it along with me. I think "finding happiness" is really just about remembering who we really are and how it really works.
All in all, it was a very interesting day.
It was intriguing to see, too, how both these people operated under my new idea of happiness. In the conversation I was having with my boss we were talking about how people will go to strange lengths and do very odd things under the guise of "finding happiness"; and then when "it" fades or they don't find what they're looking for, they'll keep going in even further and more disturbing directions. My comment to my boss was "Happiness is not where you find it - happiness is where you left it." That's not necessarily always the case, of course, but the idea is worth thinking about. We usually learn fairly early in life how to be happy - what to do, how to behave, the kinds of things that bring us joy. Then we grow up, and get confused, and try new things... and start branching away from those early lessons, rather than sticking to them. Both of the people I interacted with yesterday (and the one my boss and I were talking about) knew how to be happy - and they both made choices that perhaps felt good and looked exciting, but led them to the opposite of happiness.
I guess we need to do that every so often, so that we know what the opposite of happiness feels like - still, it was a powerful insight to me that, instead of trying to go somewhere else to find happiness, I need to remember how to be happy and then take it along with me. I think "finding happiness" is really just about remembering who we really are and how it really works.
All in all, it was a very interesting day.
July 06, 2009
"Got" List
Today I got:
- up late
- an email from one of my grad school programs requesting I set up a phone interview (WOOO!!!)
- blackberry pomegranate yogurt for breakfast
- called out for being a little too passive-aggressive (which is occasionally true)
- to "decorate" the "hideout" for "Scarlet Pimpernel" (talk about your shabby chic)
- a place in my boss's "Circle of Trust"
- some interesting insights into the nature of happiness
- a couple of doses of gossip
- into a phone tag marathon with a friend
- a paycheck
- some very important details re: a couple of different friendships
- an easy drive home, as I apparently stayed at work just long enough to miss the rush hour traffic
- chocolate. (This one hasn't happened yet, but I'm very optimistic, and inclined to be pro-active.)
P.S. Right at the end of the work day I drew a Super-Sekrit Scarlet Pimpernel Escape Plan to put up in the hideout, and my boss thinks it's awesome. He hasn't even seen it yet. I have a great job.
- up late
- an email from one of my grad school programs requesting I set up a phone interview (WOOO!!!)
- blackberry pomegranate yogurt for breakfast
- called out for being a little too passive-aggressive (which is occasionally true)
- to "decorate" the "hideout" for "Scarlet Pimpernel" (talk about your shabby chic)
- a place in my boss's "Circle of Trust"
- some interesting insights into the nature of happiness
- a couple of doses of gossip
- into a phone tag marathon with a friend
- a paycheck
- some very important details re: a couple of different friendships
- an easy drive home, as I apparently stayed at work just long enough to miss the rush hour traffic
- chocolate. (This one hasn't happened yet, but I'm very optimistic, and inclined to be pro-active.)
P.S. Right at the end of the work day I drew a Super-Sekrit Scarlet Pimpernel Escape Plan to put up in the hideout, and my boss thinks it's awesome. He hasn't even seen it yet. I have a great job.
July 05, 2009
Sunday Snippet
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.
I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
“As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal”;
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.
He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.
In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free;
While God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! While God is marching on.
Words: Julia W. Howe, 1861, alt. This hymn was born during the American civil war, when Howe visited a Union Army camp on the Potomac River near Washington, D. C. She heard the soldiers singing the song “John Brown’s Body,” and was taken with the strong marching beat. She wrote the words the next day:
I awoke in the grey of the morning, and as I lay waiting for dawn, the long lines of the desired poem began to entwine themselves in my mind, and I said to myself, “I must get up and write these verses, lest I fall asleep and forget them!” So I sprang out of bed and in the dimness found an old stump of a pen, which I remembered using the day before. I scrawled the verses almost without looking at the paper.
The hymn appeared in the Atlantic Monthly in 1862. It was sung at the funerals of British statesman Winston Churchill, American senator Robert Kennedy, and American presidents Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon.
Music: John Brown’s Body, possibly by John William Steffe. John Brown was an American abolitionist who led a short lived insurrection to free the slaves.
* * * * *
To see and hear MoTab's version of this song, go here. (It's a little better performance than my ward managed.)
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.
I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
“As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal”;
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.
He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.
In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free;
While God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! While God is marching on.
Words: Julia W. Howe, 1861, alt. This hymn was born during the American civil war, when Howe visited a Union Army camp on the Potomac River near Washington, D. C. She heard the soldiers singing the song “John Brown’s Body,” and was taken with the strong marching beat. She wrote the words the next day:
I awoke in the grey of the morning, and as I lay waiting for dawn, the long lines of the desired poem began to entwine themselves in my mind, and I said to myself, “I must get up and write these verses, lest I fall asleep and forget them!” So I sprang out of bed and in the dimness found an old stump of a pen, which I remembered using the day before. I scrawled the verses almost without looking at the paper.
The hymn appeared in the Atlantic Monthly in 1862. It was sung at the funerals of British statesman Winston Churchill, American senator Robert Kennedy, and American presidents Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon.
Music: John Brown’s Body, possibly by John William Steffe. John Brown was an American abolitionist who led a short lived insurrection to free the slaves.
* * * * *
To see and hear MoTab's version of this song, go here. (It's a little better performance than my ward managed.)
July 04, 2009
Birthday Message
"Those who won our independence believed that the final end of the state was to make men free to develop their faculties, and that in its government the deliberative forces should prevail over the arbitrary. They valued liberty both as an end and as a means. They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty. They believed that freedom to think as you will and to speak as you think are means indispensable to the discovery and spread of political truth; that without free 
speech and assembly discussion would be futile; that with them, discussion affords ordinarily adequate protection against the dissemination of noxious doctrine; that the greatest menace to freedom is an inert people; that public discussion is a political duty; and that this should be a fundamental principle of the American government."
speech and assembly discussion would be futile; that with them, discussion affords ordinarily adequate protection against the dissemination of noxious doctrine; that the greatest menace to freedom is an inert people; that public discussion is a political duty; and that this should be a fundamental principle of the American government."- Louis D. Brandeis
Supreme Court Justice
Bonus quote: "Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done."
- Louis Brandeis
July 03, 2009
Said It Once, Said It 100 Times...
In which we shall see: a TMI non sequitur, a couple of dating theories, imaginary dialogue, and a wiggins. Oh, and Happy Fourth-of-July Eve! (Otherwise known as July 3rd.)
* * *
Have you ever had a patch of skin that you could actually FEEL drying up and peeling off? Mine's on the back of my neck from a pretty intense sunburn I got a week ago (damn that new haircut, anyway) and it is making me CRAZY. I will probably have to stop typing every few minutes to see, once again, if I can possibly contort myself in some different way to be able to get at the scaly lizard hide just below my hairline. Did you know you can't see the back of your neck, and that even with three-way mirrors it is BEYOND frustrating to try to get to it? It's a lot like trying to lick your elbow. Go ahead, try it.
This has absolutely nothing to to with today's post. I just wondered.
* * * * *
A few years ago (and when I was 17, and last week) my mother gave me this advice: "You know, you really should play hard to get." My stock response: "Phbbblgttt." I've been hearing this for years, and it just doesn't sink in - I don't play. I'm not hard to get. If I like a guy and he likes me, I'm all for going out and doing something about it, not lurking coyly and pretending to be all mysterious and lofty and otherwise occupied.
However - if my mother, who has a degree in Childhood Development, had ever bothered to tell me HOW and WHY to "play hard to get", I might have listened and done something about it. Here's the thing: I cannot seem to get away from guys who will say one thing, and then immediately forget those words ever left their mouths, like, "We really should go play raquetball sometime!" or "When can I take you out to dinner?" I've learned, for the most part, to let those kinds of remarks slide and fade away as though they really do have no more substance than the air that carries them, because no matter how positively I respond (although not over-enthusiastically, since that evidently reads as "desperate") the invitation just never morphs into an actual event. I don't know why this is, but I finally have a theory.
I blame my mother.
If she had told me years ago that I had to apply Childhood Development principles as well as "playing hard to get" to my dealings with males, my entire dating "history" (hah) could have been radically different. You know how when talking to small children, in general you will be required to repeat yourself at least three times? I figure that this has to do with the short attention span, and with the lack of impulse control - if something is confirmed to a child often enough it becomes an actuality, not just a passing whim or unconnected thought. Go with me on this: "Playing Hard to Get" + Child's Rule of 3 might look something like...
Him: "When can I take you out to dinner?"
Me: "Well, let me see... I don't know... You want to..."
Him: "Take you out, yes. If you want to go, I mean."
Me: "Oh, well, sure, I'd like to, but I'm really busy... Dinner, huh?"
Him: "Yeah. Dinner. Or a movie. Or something."
Me: "Did you have a particular day in mind? For this dinner?"
Him: "How about next Friday?"
(*cue Me hemming and hawing and mentally double-checking the date, and getting him to set up not only a day, but also the time*)
So, theoretically, if I make a guy confirm an invitation at least three times, then he might get around to setting a date. And if he sets a date (not me) then he feels like he's in charge and will actually follow through. If I just say "Sure. Next week? Call me" then I am too easily pleased and not worth the effort it will take him to follow up. If I make him pull an acceptance out of me, however, I become worth his time AND he will remember he issued the invitation because he repeated it several times. I wonder if schools could start offering combined Childhood Development/Dating classes: "Get your man and practice your parenting skills at the same time!" Seems like a solid idea.
Honestly, though, this whole theory gives me the creeps. I was hoping I could talk myself into trying it out the next time a guy makes a suggestion, but... no. I'd still rather devote my energy to the conversation or the activity or a good book - it just seems like such a waste of time. I apparently still have a little spark of cock-eyed optimism down deep inside that there are men (a man?) out there who do not need me to treat them like five-year-olds, guys who say things because they mean them and will do something about them. There's got to be a different/better way out there - I think I'll just keep looking for that, instead. (Sorry, Mom.)
In the meantime, I've got to go peel my neck.
Watch out for falling turtles (and amateur psychology),
Cyd
* * *
Have you ever had a patch of skin that you could actually FEEL drying up and peeling off? Mine's on the back of my neck from a pretty intense sunburn I got a week ago (damn that new haircut, anyway) and it is making me CRAZY. I will probably have to stop typing every few minutes to see, once again, if I can possibly contort myself in some different way to be able to get at the scaly lizard hide just below my hairline. Did you know you can't see the back of your neck, and that even with three-way mirrors it is BEYOND frustrating to try to get to it? It's a lot like trying to lick your elbow. Go ahead, try it.
This has absolutely nothing to to with today's post. I just wondered.
* * * * *
A few years ago (and when I was 17, and last week) my mother gave me this advice: "You know, you really should play hard to get." My stock response: "Phbbblgttt." I've been hearing this for years, and it just doesn't sink in - I don't play. I'm not hard to get. If I like a guy and he likes me, I'm all for going out and doing something about it, not lurking coyly and pretending to be all mysterious and lofty and otherwise occupied.
However - if my mother, who has a degree in Childhood Development, had ever bothered to tell me HOW and WHY to "play hard to get", I might have listened and done something about it. Here's the thing: I cannot seem to get away from guys who will say one thing, and then immediately forget those words ever left their mouths, like, "We really should go play raquetball sometime!" or "When can I take you out to dinner?" I've learned, for the most part, to let those kinds of remarks slide and fade away as though they really do have no more substance than the air that carries them, because no matter how positively I respond (although not over-enthusiastically, since that evidently reads as "desperate") the invitation just never morphs into an actual event. I don't know why this is, but I finally have a theory.
I blame my mother.
If she had told me years ago that I had to apply Childhood Development principles as well as "playing hard to get" to my dealings with males, my entire dating "history" (hah) could have been radically different. You know how when talking to small children, in general you will be required to repeat yourself at least three times? I figure that this has to do with the short attention span, and with the lack of impulse control - if something is confirmed to a child often enough it becomes an actuality, not just a passing whim or unconnected thought. Go with me on this: "Playing Hard to Get" + Child's Rule of 3 might look something like...
Him: "When can I take you out to dinner?"
Me: "Well, let me see... I don't know... You want to..."
Him: "Take you out, yes. If you want to go, I mean."
Me: "Oh, well, sure, I'd like to, but I'm really busy... Dinner, huh?"
Him: "Yeah. Dinner. Or a movie. Or something."
Me: "Did you have a particular day in mind? For this dinner?"
Him: "How about next Friday?"
(*cue Me hemming and hawing and mentally double-checking the date, and getting him to set up not only a day, but also the time*)
So, theoretically, if I make a guy confirm an invitation at least three times, then he might get around to setting a date. And if he sets a date (not me) then he feels like he's in charge and will actually follow through. If I just say "Sure. Next week? Call me" then I am too easily pleased and not worth the effort it will take him to follow up. If I make him pull an acceptance out of me, however, I become worth his time AND he will remember he issued the invitation because he repeated it several times. I wonder if schools could start offering combined Childhood Development/Dating classes: "Get your man and practice your parenting skills at the same time!" Seems like a solid idea.
Honestly, though, this whole theory gives me the creeps. I was hoping I could talk myself into trying it out the next time a guy makes a suggestion, but... no. I'd still rather devote my energy to the conversation or the activity or a good book - it just seems like such a waste of time. I apparently still have a little spark of cock-eyed optimism down deep inside that there are men (a man?) out there who do not need me to treat them like five-year-olds, guys who say things because they mean them and will do something about them. There's got to be a different/better way out there - I think I'll just keep looking for that, instead. (Sorry, Mom.)
In the meantime, I've got to go peel my neck.
Watch out for falling turtles (and amateur psychology),
Cyd
July 02, 2009
Fake Upholstery is SO Five Minutes Ago (Literally)
I finished up today with the fanciest set piece for a two-minute scene EVER. (It's a carriage interior.) The tech guys agree that it looks much better than it did the last time they did the show, and the designer is all giddy because techs will be standing behind the piece shaking it while it's on stage, and the curtains and the fringe and the tassels will be bouncing which will make the whole thing look like it's REALLY MOVING. It's the theater equivalent of playing a moving video behind a stationary object - only, you know, the opposite.
Behold:
The staple gun and I: re-covered the cushions and bench, "wallpapered" with fabric, attached the corner trim, and hung all the curtains after sewing a couple of layers of fringe. The designer says that he likes having me work on things like this, because I really "get" fringe. (Apparently, some people don't. Can I list an understanding of fringe as a marketable job skill?)
Behold:
The staple gun and I: re-covered the cushions and bench, "wallpapered" with fabric, attached the corner trim, and hung all the curtains after sewing a couple of layers of fringe. The designer says that he likes having me work on things like this, because I really "get" fringe. (Apparently, some people don't. Can I list an understanding of fringe as a marketable job skill?)Nice, huh? The whole thing is kind of like a portable bordello. If, you know, I were to ever imagine what that sort of thing might look like, which I wouldn't. At all.
Ahem.
* * * * *
My sister has started her own "30 Days of Posts" - go follow along! So far it's fun, patriotic, and has a picture of a skinny-dipping-slip-'n-slider! (And that's just the first day!)
* * * * *
Stay tuned - tomorrow I take exception to my mother's advice. There will probably be ranting involved.
July 01, 2009
It's Not the End, Again
In which we shall see: Some ramblings and mental perambulations which, ironically, come to no real conclusion.
*
Hey! It's July! When did that happen? June was here, then gone, and it didn't even say goodbye! I'm not really ready for last month to be over - couldn't we discuss this? I'll probably be fine, once I get my head around it... Honestly, though, a little finality would be nice!
*Leaves for a moment to go change the calendar*
OK, I'm ready now. Just had to square that away.
People are funny, it seems to me, about this idea of "closure". I've used it as an excuse for years: "Well of COURSE we should have desert, the meal needs closure!" - but what is it really all about? It's odd, sometimes, how we have difficulty moving forward if we don't have a "The End" sign first. I've been thinking about this lately, and wondering how much difference it makes. For example, by all reasonable accounts or expectations, a relationship is over (we've all been there). The spark is gone, you've grown apart, you haven't talked since his birthday... a month ago... and yet the relationship isn't completely finished until there is an actual, verbal, face-to-face break-up. Does the break-up introduce new information, or somehow give you permission to move on? (For me, in one memorable instance the break-up did in fact introduce some new and painful information that I would have been much happier without. Closure was ABSOLUTELY overrated.)
We seem to have a deep-seated need for a "button", a "tagline", some indication that things really are finished. I HATE books that leave me turning the last page back and forth (as if additional print will magically appear) muttering, "Wait - that's IT?!?" An excess of closure can have a similarly exasperating effect - "Honestly, get it over with... um, Shakespeare, old buddy, I'm pretty sure we already saw this scene twice, we don't need to hear about it again! Done, already!" It's kind of like presents under a Christmas tree - everything should be wrapped just so, each gift should be inclusive unto itself for maximum satisfaction, and eventually the packages should all be distributed so we can move on to the homemade cinnamon rolls. We don't seem to like dangling possibilities of any kind, and have difficulty tying them up without help.
I am an action-girl (by which I mean, "not patient") and I like answers and conclusions to present themselves neatly, ASAP. This may be a by-product of my reading habit - I read exhaustively and continually, and pretty quickly. I really don't have to sit in suspense for long, because I know I can keep reading until I get to the ending. (Don't ask about my track record with the Twilight books.) Recently, however, I have found myself in a situation where I haven't been able to get any clear answers, though not for lack of attempted manipulation (er, "trying"). Slowly, I've been seeing that it might be all right if I never get the answer, that my future happiness is not going to be determined by the acquisition of this one piece of knowledge, and that I am allowed to make the decision to let things go without help or permission from anyone else. It's a weird feeling. Kind of loose, and nebulous... and fluffy... Like I said, weird. And a little liberating, too - I don't have to wait for someone else to make up their mind and take action before I decide what to do next. I don't have to be dependent on outside forces to finish or wrap up my own thought processes, pack them away, and move on to something new. I don't have to have closure. It's OK not to cut people out of my life (impose "closure" on them) - I can let them fade out, or just wait and see what they do next week, and then make a new decision based on what I have decided to do in the meantime. If I'm done watching the movie, it's OK to walk out. If I didn't like the way the book ended, I can spend a few minutes coming up with a more satisfactory conclusion - OR I can mentally shrug, put the author on my "maybe not, next time" list, and pick up the next volume in my stack (ideally, after having gone out for a run, met up with some friends, and put in a load of laundry. Balance, or something).
I guess this means I really don't need dessert after all. Wow. Now THERE'S a concept.
Watch out for falling turtles,
Cyd
*
Hey! It's July! When did that happen? June was here, then gone, and it didn't even say goodbye! I'm not really ready for last month to be over - couldn't we discuss this? I'll probably be fine, once I get my head around it... Honestly, though, a little finality would be nice!
*Leaves for a moment to go change the calendar*
OK, I'm ready now. Just had to square that away.
People are funny, it seems to me, about this idea of "closure". I've used it as an excuse for years: "Well of COURSE we should have desert, the meal needs closure!" - but what is it really all about? It's odd, sometimes, how we have difficulty moving forward if we don't have a "The End" sign first. I've been thinking about this lately, and wondering how much difference it makes. For example, by all reasonable accounts or expectations, a relationship is over (we've all been there). The spark is gone, you've grown apart, you haven't talked since his birthday... a month ago... and yet the relationship isn't completely finished until there is an actual, verbal, face-to-face break-up. Does the break-up introduce new information, or somehow give you permission to move on? (For me, in one memorable instance the break-up did in fact introduce some new and painful information that I would have been much happier without. Closure was ABSOLUTELY overrated.)
We seem to have a deep-seated need for a "button", a "tagline", some indication that things really are finished. I HATE books that leave me turning the last page back and forth (as if additional print will magically appear) muttering, "Wait - that's IT?!?" An excess of closure can have a similarly exasperating effect - "Honestly, get it over with... um, Shakespeare, old buddy, I'm pretty sure we already saw this scene twice, we don't need to hear about it again! Done, already!" It's kind of like presents under a Christmas tree - everything should be wrapped just so, each gift should be inclusive unto itself for maximum satisfaction, and eventually the packages should all be distributed so we can move on to the homemade cinnamon rolls. We don't seem to like dangling possibilities of any kind, and have difficulty tying them up without help.
I am an action-girl (by which I mean, "not patient") and I like answers and conclusions to present themselves neatly, ASAP. This may be a by-product of my reading habit - I read exhaustively and continually, and pretty quickly. I really don't have to sit in suspense for long, because I know I can keep reading until I get to the ending. (Don't ask about my track record with the Twilight books.) Recently, however, I have found myself in a situation where I haven't been able to get any clear answers, though not for lack of attempted manipulation (er, "trying"). Slowly, I've been seeing that it might be all right if I never get the answer, that my future happiness is not going to be determined by the acquisition of this one piece of knowledge, and that I am allowed to make the decision to let things go without help or permission from anyone else. It's a weird feeling. Kind of loose, and nebulous... and fluffy... Like I said, weird. And a little liberating, too - I don't have to wait for someone else to make up their mind and take action before I decide what to do next. I don't have to be dependent on outside forces to finish or wrap up my own thought processes, pack them away, and move on to something new. I don't have to have closure. It's OK not to cut people out of my life (impose "closure" on them) - I can let them fade out, or just wait and see what they do next week, and then make a new decision based on what I have decided to do in the meantime. If I'm done watching the movie, it's OK to walk out. If I didn't like the way the book ended, I can spend a few minutes coming up with a more satisfactory conclusion - OR I can mentally shrug, put the author on my "maybe not, next time" list, and pick up the next volume in my stack (ideally, after having gone out for a run, met up with some friends, and put in a load of laundry. Balance, or something).
I guess this means I really don't need dessert after all. Wow. Now THERE'S a concept.
Watch out for falling turtles,
Cyd
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