... seriously, it's Halloween. Be careful out there!
Well, all, it's been fun - I made it for 30 posts, at least one a day! Not all of them were entertaining, educational, or even (let's face it) interesting, but I MADE IT. Woo! Thanks so much to those who commented!
I'm planning to recap the month tomorrow, to help fling us into November. In the meantime, I'm off to go Halloweening - for the last two days I've been dressing up as Professor Trelawney, so I thought tonight I'd try a different direction by going as a Fug Girl. Have fun tonight, and I'd love to hear about/see your costumes, too!
And, since I'll also be changing my layout tomorrow, here's one last look at my holiday-themed turtle (thanks again, Kyle!) ...
Now the next question is: should I participate in November's NaNoWriMo?
Watch out for falling turtles and excessive Halloween candy,
The results of your analysis say: You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough. You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
- OK, first of all, it's HARD to write naturally with a mouse (my handwriting is NOT that bad!). This wasn't a particularly scientific analysis; I wrote, and then answered questions about my own writing. I'd like to try one where someone or something else does the analysis... but overall, it's probably pretty close.
This has nothing to do with Halloween (though I do have a couple of pictures of my fabulous Professor Trelawney costume that I pulled out tonight to go help at a friend's school) - it's just that I didn't really feel like writing about anything. More on that later, I'm sure.
Instead, yet another original poem (I haven't written this much poetry since, like, ever):
Comma
"You use line breaks in poetry like you use commas in prose," he said. "Excessively, yet effectively?" I offer. "Conversationally, perhaps?" He smiles, exasperated, shaking his head.
I know my weakness - Love for useful commas (and parenthesees, I might add).
Written language must chuckle and hiccup, roll, stutter (I chew my pen) and flow, drive and scurry and soar if it is to Live.
The occasional pretentious grammatical set-dressing just keeps things interesting.
Today I was called into a meeting and GIVEN two weeks' notice. Which actually turns out to be a week and a half... nothing like a little extra motivation to find a new job!
In which we shall see: Lots and lots of words. Really. Read at your own risk.
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Over the last couple of months several major happenings and issues have come to the forefront of national and international awareness - financial crisis, elections, and Proposition 8. From various conversations (online and in RL) with intelligent, concerned individuals, and from my own reading of pertinent articles and commentary, I have come to a few conclusions. These conclusions are my own supposition and opinion, and I am no authority nor representative voice for any organization involved. These are my own thoughts and feelings.
A friend recently asked, “So, who are you going to vote for?” This question led to an hour-long discussion of some of those issues mentioned above. My answer is that I’m still working on it – this seems to be an election that REQUIRES more research and study than any I’ve seen before. It also leads to the idea of inevitability – living in a particular state, why should a person vote when the outcome for that state is essentially determined? I’ve decided that voting is not necessarily about contributing to the end result (any more than one grain of sand contributes to the character of an entire beach) but about knowing for oneself just what one is willing to support and stand up for. I think that before much longer it will become vital for individuals to decide for themselves who they are and what they believe and not succumb to any kind of “flow” or “wave”. I believe that voting today represents the opportunity for us to become deliberate, decisive, regardless of whether or not we “win”.
That conversation, like many others recently, turned to Proposition 8. I know that much has been criticized in the decision of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to actively (and very unusually) step forward and encourage its members in California to vote “yes” for this amendment that will “provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” I have carefully read The Divine Institution of Marriage, the article produced by the Church to state its position on this proposition, and discussed at length the ramifications of such a position.
Here’s what I think.
I do not believe that the Church is in any way biased against or “out to get” anyone who is same-sex oriented. It is also my belief that in the end the Church is also not opposing same-sex marriage in and of itself, as such a marriage has become essentially a civil ceremony. For thousands of years religion (God, the Bible, prophets) have taught that such a union is wrong. From there, the choice to participate in such behavior belongs to the individuals involved, not the Church or any other entity. Choice, of all things, is sacred. However, at times the consequences of choices can adversely affect the future lives and choices of others – and this is the point at which regulations are installed. For example, one friend argued that while the idea of abortion was repulsive to them, they were also very reluctant to restrict a person’s freedom regarding the use of their own body. My response is that while, yes, a person has the right to choose their own behaviors and activities, they do not have the right to cut off the potential choices another might make by prematurely ending a life. (Please do not draw any crazy conclusions that I am trying to say that all same-sex oriented individuals support abortion. The example here is “freedom of choice” vs. “accepting consequences and restricting some personal freedoms for the safety and benefit of others.” Also, this example refers to choices made, not to consequences imposed by the choices of others, or instances where no choice is involved.)
So, Proposition 8 – In my opinion the Church is not looking to restrict same-sex marriage because it is a “moral” or “religious” issue. It is both those things, but again, all are free to choose their own lifestyle. However – the CHILDREN that will be raised in those families will not be afforded the same opportunities, and this is the point from which I believe the Church’s concern commences. Current political policy dictates that if same-sex marriage becomes an accepted practice, schools will be OBLIGATED to teach that such behavior is a valid, accepted lifestyle (rather than an issue of moral choice), and parents will have no recourse to oppose such teaching. Additionally, children in such families, no matter how well loved and raised, will never be able to be sealed eternally to their parents. One debater argued that the children could always choose for themselves to marry a spouse in the temple – but if parents are not living in agreement with the teachings of the Church, what is the likelihood that the children will? These concerns have been in the national eye for a relatively short period of time; certainly not long enough for any incisive conclusions about the cause-and-effect of same-sex parenting on children to be reached. Consider this: when the Word of Wisdom was given in the early days of the Church it stood in opposition to several accepted practices of the day. Over a hundred years later it has been accepted by secular medical practitioners as an exemplary way to live, and scientifically demonstrated to uphold the principles of health it promised back in the 1800’s. It was given by a prophet, and those who followed it were upheld in their choice.
The bottom line is this: The Church has made a request of its members in the current election in California, and those who follow will be upheld in their choice. Honestly, this direction from the Church may not succeed in confirming Proposition 8. Those who vote “yes”, though, will have the satisfaction of defending their beliefs and the security of knowing they have listened to the prophet. These are decisions we all need to ponder and stand prepared to make – I also believe the time is coming that we will ALL be required to make them.
For additional (and beautifully written!) commentary on faith, individuality, and obedience, go here, here, then here.
I HAVE DISCOVERED MY MOTIVATION. (And it will probably be obvious to everyone here.)
I haven't been able to make myself exercise consistently for my health, for my wardrobe, or even at the direction of John Tesh (the ERGWK). I haven't done it despite the needling of family members (love you guys!) or in the face of rising gas prices. I won't exercise even though it will increase my core strength and improve my energy and the quality of my sleep. There are all kinds of other logical reasons to exercise, and I haven't done it for any of them.
I will, however, exercise for pastry.
This morning I took off on a round-trip 3-mile walk/jog, the pivotal destination being a grocery store that carries German Chocolate danishes. (Coconut + caramel + chocolate frosting in butter pastry = superYUM.) I came home with only one of them, having developed at least a teensy modicum of self-control - AND my impulse purchase of the day was a small Chef's Salad!
Some people "do it for love", I do it for carbs.
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Please go browse through this blog for some wonderful pictures of Utah's fall foliage - we are having some lovely days of autumn-blue skies and crisp fresh air. My sister-in-law also has some beautiful pictures that she's taken up on her blog, but it's private so I'll see if she'll let me re-post some of them here. I hope you're all enjoying the season!
Work has been MURDEROUS this morning. I don't want to talk about it.
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I really enjoyed this idea - and I would love to have you fantastically, weirdly creative people (plus everyone else) start a grocery list for me! If you read this, leave a comment with an item or two (or...) that you'd like me to "buy", and I'll keep blogging photographic evidence when I find the items. Bring it on, folks.
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BRIAN STOKES MITCHELL IS THE GUEST ARTIST FOR THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR CHRISTMAS CONCERTS!!!!! (*Squeeeee*, even.) I'm a little bit excited.
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From So You Think You Can Dance: Canada - this number is gorgeous.
Here, once again, is an outlet for day-to-day living advice that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, boost your love life, make you smarter AND more sensitive, and (FDA approval pending) lower your cholesterol.
Today's Edition: Getting What You Want When You Call to Ask For It
Say you come across a notice for a show that strikes you as interesting. You say to yourself, "Self, that show strikes me as potentially interesting, and probably an excellent use of my time and money. I think I'll get some tickets!" Should you:
A) Go online with the intention of using the production's website and allow yourself to get distracted by the pictures and the opportunity to web surf, leading you to call the ticket office and complain about how difficult it was to get tickets over the Internet;
B) Call the ticket office first, and spend the next 23.6 minutes on the phone trying to figure out when you actually have a night free to attend the show, since you didn't check your calendar before you called;
C) Drive down to the ticket office, promptly forget your name and how to speak English (or whatever the national language is of the country in which the ticket office for the show you want to see is located) and stare intently at the ticket agent until they PICK THE INFORMATION FROM YOUR MIND;
D) Gather all your friends and instruct them to each follow one of the above procedures, forcing the ticket agents into a murderous rage and inciting them to burn down the theatre, thus canceling the show and relieving you from the responsibility of making any choices concerning the show.
Obviously, the answer is D. For DUH.
For the love of all that is holy and good, PLEASE hold firmly in mind the specific question you would like answered when approaching a Customer Service representative, and DO NOT assume that mind-reading and/or psychic abilities are pre-requisite to employment with that company. Know what you want and specifically ask for what you want, and then LISTEN carefully to the response in case adaptation is needed (or just to keep you from asking a question they have already answered). Ticket agents and customer service reps the world over will rain blessings (and free tickets - maybe) down upon your head, and you will be met in the future with songs of rejoicing. I AM NOT KIDDING. (If all that musical-theatricality is too much for you, well, just go to the website, follow the links, and make sure you scroll all the way to the bottom of the page before finishing your order. When purchasing tickets, make sure to look for the picture of event tickets or the button that has the words "Order Tickets Here" and CLICK ON IT. It's amazing how often that works.)
And if you don't believe that this blog feature will, in fact, boost your love life, try this - any guy that calls me and says, "So I called the ticket office to place an order for that show, and I ALREADY knew the date I wanted to attend - the ticket agent found me some seats that sounded great and I was off the phone in less than three minutes!" has got a date with me that I will probably volunteer to pay for.
So I'm trying to make things a little Halloween-y around here, and I would really love a graphic of a turtle in a witch's hat. Thus far, I haven't been able to find anything of the kind on the Web. I have two images I'd like to mesh (turtle + hat) but find myself incredibly inept at navigating any kind of photoshop-ish program. If you have some free time and would like to A) tutor me, or B) have me email you the images and do it for me, I would be EXCEEDINGLY grateful. And would probably bring you cookies.
ETA: Success! Thanks to the marvelous and modest Kyle! Plus my turtle is on a BROOM! It's more than I could have hoped for. (Don't worry - I'll figure out some way to get you the cookies!)
And, as a special bonus, the charming runner-up photo from Ringleader. Hee.
Picture this: Three girls, chatting. Boy walks past, then suddenly drops to the floor and starts doing push-ups. Girls exhibit variety of "What the...?!?" faces, then quickly control giggles. Boy finishes, gets up, and strolls away nonchalantly. Girls turn to each other, somehow manage to laugh silently, and finally one says, "Well, HE'S straight!"
Picture this: Girl manages to convince Boy that she needs some pictures of people in various "athletic" poses for a blog entry she plans to do on Motivations to Exercise. Girl gets Boy to recreate push-ups (as well as other spurious shots) for the camera. Yeah. Evidence:
The things a guy will do for cute girls...
Sahara, Michael, Lindsay...
And just to prove I can play along too - my version of a Pilates pose:
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Quote of the day: "But my other toe is... compromised."
I had a very interesting (and long) conversation last night that went right along with some heavy topics I've been ruminating about lately, including: politics, the election, Palin, Biden, Obama (not so much McCain), fatalism, sympathy, Proposition 8, revelation, doctrine, freedom, rights, choices, and freedom of choice (to sum up). I haven't had a chance yet today to post about the bottom line, so until I do I wanted to spread around this photo that a friend of mine took of a sidebar in a magazine article:
Once you get past the initial *gasp!* it's really not all that surprising, is it? I mean, who HASN'T been there? (Or, to be honest, isn't there still?)
Two weeks ago, while coaching drama students, I reminded them that the point of drama is for characters to get what they want, and that no one ever gets what they want by being angry at other people. Just "being angry", no matter how magnificently you do it, doesn't get you anything. In yet another case of Theatre Is Just Like Life, I realized it's the same in the real world. If you are going to get what you want out of the time you've got, it won't be by sitting around being mad about things.
Today, I saw the corollary brilliantly enacted: having psychotic breakdowns will ALSO not get you what you want. This is not to demean those who have had ACTUAL breakdowns - it is to say that being a massive drama queen, panicking, swearing, screaming, crying, and pounding on the floor (and other things) will not accomplish much besides ticking off the downstairs neighbors and frightening the impressionable youngsters watching you go all to pieces.
It's hard to ask for help if you're too busy making sure everyone within a five-mile radius knows The Universe (And Everyone In It) Has Wronged You, you know?
(Unless there's an epilogue...) I wrote this all out on Wednesday, but started helping look for costume jewelry and didn't finish getting it posted until after midnight... It's transitional!
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Final Dress - a Running Commentary
7:14 – it’s nice to be back in a theatre, after all the everyday-life drama of the last two weeks. Romeo and the students seem happy to see me, and if the director isn’t effusive, well, she’s opening a show that she’d like another day to rehearse…
7:25 – Once we got started, it was a pretty explosive beginning… nice. Everyone really seems to understand what they’re saying, which makes it a LOT easier for the audience to follow.
7:26 – I wish Benvolio were a little bigger, sillier – it needs a little comic lift. He’s a good actor, though young – he’ll do well. Romeo really is a marvelous actor.
7:39 – Mercutio is a HOTTIE. By the end of the show I might figure out if he can act.
7:43 – Inadvertent joke: Mercutio speaks of something being “thin of substance as the air” while waving his hand over Romeo’s thinning scalp. Oops.
8:12 – GREAT scene with Romeo and Friar Laurence! I’m still not sold on the romance, but the character stuff is fascinating! That’s not to say that the production isn’t selling the romance (as it were)… these are excellent actors, and I really can see how this headlong tumbling into love/infactuation is exciting and fun – I just don’t feel it applying in any way to me.
8:22 – Juliet bugs me. She’s young, and a twit.
8:25 – OK, she’s cute. (I credit the actress, not the character.)
8:38 – Good fight scene… Oh. I had no idea that Shakespeare was the originator of the “Previously, on…” bit of narration, though. Always makes me think of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Hmmm… Nicholas Brendan as Benvolio, Anthony Stewart Head as Prince Escalus, Sarah Michelle Gellar as Juliet, and that leaves David Boreanaz as Romeo… (Angel’s certainly broody enough to play the part…) I guess that means Allyson Hannigan is left for Friar Laurence – I like it! Right, back to the play.
8:41 – Intermission. ( [SPOILER] Even dead, Mercutio’s still a hottie. Rowr.)
8:59 – Blah, blah, blah… drama drama drama. Dead, banished, WHATEVER.
9:02 – The scenes with Romeo and the Friar are the best. I’ve never liked Friar Laurence, but I’m finally starting to see how Shakespeare wrote the two characters to balance each other, and where the Friar’s motivation comes from… Also, it makes me happy that FL and the Nurse are both treating him like the whining little baby that he is. Heh.
9:19 – Hey, Lord Capulet! It’s like I told the BHS students – anger doesn’t get you anything. And in Shakespeare, it just makes you hard to understand!
9:23 – I do like Paris. This is an extraordinarily sympathetic actor. Oh, wow, and the author gave him some good lines… I never noticed before. I’m feeling a little swoony.
9:38 – It really sucks to be Lady Capulet.
9:43 – Shakespeare is just MEAN. That tonal shift from [SPOILER!] Juliet’s death scene to Romeo in Mantua is irony whacking the audience over the head with a jackhammer. Rude.
9:47 – Ooh, dead Juliet and dead Tybalt walked into the “vault” and laid down on their biers at the same time. Cool.
10:00 – Dang, another “Previously”, and at the very end of the play! Come on, FL, we KNOW what happened! We just watched it! I suppose that IS a good teaching technique: “Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em; tell ‘em; tell ‘em what you told ‘em.” Are we supposed to cry all over again?
10:06 – Really, this is a very good show. I’m terribly impressed. Everyone has obviously worked very hard, and I’d recommend it to anyone who likes Shakespeare or would like to become better acquainted with the Bard! (Opens Thursday, and runs this and next weekend!)
I made it to work 5 MINUTES EARLY. Without excessive speeding. Two more days of this (maybe just one if I make it 10) and it could count as an actual miracle.
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My old friend Pinched Nerve is back. He is joined by his close neighbors, Aleve and Advil. Should be an interesting day.
In which we shall see: Pictures of a cultural icon (Garfield), a report card (no grades), irony alerts, and a break with tradition.
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I'm sure we can all relate.
About two weeks ago, I set out some goals - today I want to evaluate and see how it's going so far.
1 - BE ON TIME TO EVERYTHING.
The first week, I was awesome. I made it on time to: work everyday, every rehearsal, every appointment, and church. I wouldn't say I was EARLY very often, but I always made it on time. Last week, I didn't do as well. Maybe it's psychological - I heard again that my family thinks I'm late to everything, and most of last week was family events... and I was pretty generally late. I wasn't usually LAST, but I wasn't early or on-time. Bleh.
- Today I made it to work on time, but only barely. I think the problem (besides not liking to get up, which might be helped by other goals) is that I'm in the habit of checking things online in the mornings while I'm getting ready, and we all know what a time-sucker THAT can be. *Irony bell ringing* So, time for a new plan in the mornings! Skipping to...
2 - EXERCISE EVERY DAY. Again, I did pretty well that first week, but then came Conference and the pinched nerve and family activities blah blah blah. Today, it was the residual stiffness and "will have time to workout in the afternoon." I'm seeing that it's gotta be the mornings - in the afternoons (if I'm not at work) and evenings there is just too much else to do, and I am far too easily distracted. I really do need that stretching workout today, so I'll get to it tonight - and then right back to it tomorrow morning. Right after...
3 - GET MORE SLEEP. Yeah. This really hasn't been happening. OK, family stuff is done, everyone's gone home, it's getting colder and it will be far more efficient to warm up in bed than by puttering around the house doing unimportant things. Exercise early, get to bed early. Right.
4 - COMMUNICATE ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS BY PHONE, NOT EMAIL. Not too much application here in the past few weeks - most of the people I needed to talk to were around, anyway. I haven't made any official announcement to this effect, though I will email it out soon *Irony alarm sounds loudly*. I did mention this new policy to a few people, so it shouldn't be a big surprise. I do see that it will potentially be a very important concept in the next few months.
5 - STOP GIVING ADVICE. It's been surprising to me how often I've had to restrain myself in the last two weeks. I had no idea I was such a know-it-all! *Irony bell falls silent, having broken with exertion* I can think of one specific incident where I gave advice recently, but I do think that was more along the lines of a "teaching" episode than a "let me give you the benefit of my insight and opinions" occasion. For the rest, well, I guess I know now why my tongue has been so raw - all the biting - and maybe I'm finally learning to shut up!
ADDENDUM - LISTEN TO DIRECTIONS FROM SELF. Either I've been too tired to give myself directions, or feeling too self-pitying or entitled to give myself helpful instructions. We'll see how I do this week, as I talk myself into making habits of these goals!
Note: One brother-in-law asked me how I was doing on my "no chocolate" goal - as we can see, that goal is not on this list. It probably should be, and my excuse for stuffing myself full of sweets over the weekend was to get so sick of them that I wouldn't want to eat any more. I recognize that at this point, that's not very likely. Maybe the next list!
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FYI: If I ever get married, I foresee three events: 1) - An egagement dinner, involving friends and family. 2) - The wedding, probably followed by a meal for the group at the ceremony. 3) - Three+ weeks later, a big party with a band, dancing, and all kinds of food.
That's it. No reception, no fluffy dress, no receiving line, no bouquets, none of that stuff. Doesn't that sound much easier, and much more fun?
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
For no real reason (which is the point), I present:
Weather permitting, I'm off to the Timpanogoos Cave and the Alpine Slide with my sister and her family. (Between the hikes and the four kids, this should count as at least four days' worth of exercise.) "Goals Re-Evaluation" post coming soon.
In other news: I ate one meal, a pound or so of M&M's, and four different kinds of cake today; I got a Thank-You card and a fantastically outrageous apology card that I will treasure FOREVER; there was no bouquet toss (joy and gladness!); and I didn't cry once. Awesome.
If anyone gets anywhere near me with the bouquet tomorrow night, I will cry. I'm starting to have an anxiety attack just thinking about it.
I fully expect to keep myself doped up on a combination of Advil and M&M's all day - but I did go to two different grocery stores tonight to find the pink "For the Cure" candies so that at least I could keep my "crack" matching the wedding colors.
I saw my fake boyfriend tonight - and since he is married, we agreed that my status would now be "Ex-fake girlfriend" since "Fake ex-girlfriend" could get confusing.
For some reason, I feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a fork. I won't - I just bought a couple of pounds of chocolate - but I feel like it. Please tell me it's just the anxiety, and it'll pass... (Could be sarcasm, but I don't think that'll go away.)
Today I: designed a marketing postcard, bought a blonde wig, repaired some jewelry, painted my toenails pink, wrapped Christmas presents, and finished two books. At least a few of those things were in regards to tomorrow's wedding, so... success!
I was just asked to record a voice-over for a training video - they needed a female voice, speaking English with a Spanish accent. I read through my line once and the editor nearly fell over, he was so happy - I recorded the line, we listened to the playback, and they declared me a one-take wonder. Evidently, I sound much better with a Spanish accent than I do with my regular Utah drawwwwl! The real wonder, though, was when the editor asked if I could sound like a boy from New Jersey, and I DID.
A few weeks ago a friend and I went to a "progressive performance art" show, which was... interesting... and one of the pieces was titled "Residue of a Day." The actual dance/video piece was fairly forgettable, but I was struck by the title. What is, after all, the "residue" of a day? What's really left? It ocurred to me then that the title would make a good creative writing exercise - what do think of when you hear that phrase? In a very rough first draft, here's my answer.
Residue of a Day
Sticky happiness Like jam-fingers catching blown kisses Salty sorrows Like rainspots on an early-spring window Silty disappointment Like sand-dust drifted under a crooked door Spicy laughter Like cooking scents coloring and warming the air Slippery dreams Like half-remembered songs that fade in shifting light Silky memories Drifting over raised fingers, colored lights and snatches of song woven into a plush cloth that drapes and shelters and warms with love.
In which we shall see: A much longer post than I had originally intended (with TONS of commas!), and... well, that covers it. Oh, and a video, and a snake.
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By consensus (or, 2 out of 3) today's topic will be: My Worst Date Ever. (I originally typed "My Worst Dave Ever", and well, that could be a whole 'nother blog!)
When I was a senior in high school I was living in the era of the "creative date". You couldn't just call someone and say, "Um, so, hey, I was thinking that, uh, maybe you'd wanna, you know, like sorta maybe gotothedanceiwthme? Huh?" Oh, no, you had to fill a garbage can (25-gallon-plus size) with Hershey chocolates, decorate the outside attractively and include a punny message like, "It'll be buckets of HUGS and KISSES for you if you go to the dance with ME! Look inside for my name!" and then get some suitably anonymous friend to deliver the can to the invitee's house (preferably while they were not home, so as to plant the can in the middle of their bedroom). Said invitee would then either call over all their friends to help dump out the chocolate and carefully unwrap each one, saving the individual letters you re-wrapped into a few candies and attempting to unravel the mystery name, OR start eating the candy and calling everyone they could think of until someone would admit who it was that (started stalking them) asked them to the dance. Invitee would then respond with an equally-or-greater creative response, a creative meal (such as Dinner in the Middle of a Grocery Store After Blindfolding Your Date) would be planned, and you'd go to the dance to have pictures taken. (No. You can't see any of my dance pictures. OK, maybe later.)
Like much of my high-school career, this aspect of life in Utah was destined to fail me. (Ooh, did that sound bitter? Refer to post topic, please.) About two weeks before a girls' choice dance (the norm for asking was around a month in advance - seriously) a friend of mine was backstage bemoaning that since she'd recently broken up with her long-term boyfriend (4 months, give-or-take) he didn't have a date to the dance, and she'd already asked her new boyfriend, and it WAS HER TURN, and she just FELT SO BAD!!! (Obviously, we were drama students. ((For accuracy's sake, I had to go back and add a couple more exclamation marks.))) Normally, this kind of talking would make me hate the speaker, but this girl was one of those it was impossible to hate (I hate those kinds of girls) and I happened to know her ex-boyfriend a little, so... I told her I would ask him. She replied, "Great! He's out on the front of the stage!"
Here's where I made a couple of mistakes. 1) Assuming it would be no big deal, I walked around the curtain to ask him to the dance. Obviously I was an idiot for forgetting for even one second that EVERYTHING in high school is a Big Deal. 2) I asked him. Just asked him, no candy, no balloons, no covering his bedroom with glow-in-the-dark stars or his driveway with candles spelling out my punny message. SO UNCOOL! 3) I asked him, catching him off-guard, thus a) robbing him of the opportunity to find some creative way to turn me down or b) getting a friend to sheepishly tell me he'd "already been asked" or c) giving him the chance to collect his thoughts to figure out how to turn me down, since [see point Number 1] and it takes more than a few seconds for high-school boys to collect the few thoughts they have (swimming desperately as those thoughts are in a sea of hormones and sugar). I asked him to the dance, calmly and cheerfully - and the expression on his face was my first indication that this was NOT, after all, a good idea. He said yes [see point Number 3], and since I didn't yet have the savvy to get myself out of the situation, I said "OK" and walked away.
I got back with the system and planned a Creative Dinner, and my date (oh, let's call him "Jeff") immediately began exhibiting a very Bad Attitude. It was stupid, and did he have to, and could this be any more lame, and would I please stop making him trip over things since he couldn't see with the dumb blindfold on! I was ready for the date to be over before we even made it into the grocery store. (Shut up.) We ate and headed over to the dance to meet up with the rest of our group (all high-school dances were attended in parties of 12 - 6 couples - or more). "Jeff" ran off to greet some friends while I waited in the line for pictures. Occasionally some couple or other from the group would trade out of the line so they could go dance for a song or two (right, did I mention this was a HUGE very-slow-moving line?) but my date never returned. Someone finally tracked him down just as we made it to the head of the line, and he started complaining loudly about having a headache. Pictures taken (they WERE, in fact, stupid - thanks, "Jeff") we realized we had been at the dance for an hour and a half and were ready to leave. (Not one song did he dance with me. Not ONE.) I was completely and utterly fed up, and just wanted to get to the ice cream.
This being a Creative Date, we girls had naturally planned an After-Dance Activity (as always, involving ice cream). The twelve or so of us headed out the front of the school to where we'd parked just off the long driveway that curved past the main doors. As we reached this driveway a car approached and the group split to let it pass. I was closest to the car, and as it drove by me I heard someone laugh - and I looked up just in time to get a water balloon in the face. Now, let me draw your attention to the fact that an object thrown from a moving vehicle does tend to pick up a fair amount of force... that balloon and the subsequent explosion HURT. I stood there dripping, half my head and the left side of my shirt soaked, face throbbing, and thought, "Huh."
My group figured out something had happened, and hustled me to a car - I sat in the front, "Jeff" sat in the back, and at one point I remember him saying, "How was I supposed to know she'd get hit with a water balloon?" as if someone was accusing him of it being his fault, or even actually caring that he was there. We arrived at my house, the site of the After-Dance Activity; I turned the group loose on the fooseball table (really), dried off a little (fortunately, thanks to my date, I no longer cared how I looked), and got "Jeff" some aspirin and water (in a cup) for his headache. He was extremely solicitous about how I was feeling - I really couldn't have cared less about his efforts at that point. Things broke up shortly and I drove him home, and it was the first and only time I did not get out of the car to give a date a hug or a handshake or walk him to the door or ANYTHING. I never spoke to him again, not even when I gave him his copies of the (lame) dance pictures. I also promised myself I would never go out with a friend's ex again, and I haven't. Lesson learned! (I'm also a little gun-shy about water balloons - the video above gives me the willies!)
This picture is because the dance was jungle-themed, and also because it kind of reminds me of "Jeff". My friend's breakup makes sense, eh?
Now the next question is: should I participate in November's NaNoWriMo?
