Bonus Content #7 - Share the Obsession

I don't actually watch "So You Think You Can Dance" - not out of any bias or because I don't like dance shows, just because we still don't have regular TV. We do, however, have YouTube - and when someone at work started gushing about this performance, I pulled it up. I've now lost track of the number of times I've watched it. Wowsers.

ETA: This link (and any other like it) has been removed from YouTube. WOES. It was Chelsie and Mark dancing to "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis, and it was amazing. I will quite possibly buy/download the season, just to get a copy of this dance and any of the others they do.

ETA 2: Here's a link that got me there... once the short clip ends, click on the little picture of Chelsie (blond) and Mark (dark hair), blue-ish/purple-ish setting..

http://redband.boxxet.com/So_You_Think_You_Can_Dance/Video_Re_Chelsie_Mark_Bleeding_Love_So_You_Think_You_Can_Dance.1z59bt.d

Tips for Triumph: Getting Rid of that Song in Your Head

Here, once again, is an outlet for day-to-day living advice that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, boost your love life, make you smarter AND more sensitive, and (FDA approval pending) lower your cholesterol.

Today's edition: Mental Plumbing

Don't you just hate waking up weird? You know, with a headache, or a backache, or a determination that the outfit you dreamed up that really is NOT attractive WILL work this time? It's just not right. Anyway, I woke up this morning somewhat depressed. (WEIRD.) In an effort to get some exercise and cheer myself up, I walked to the local movie theatre and saw Kung Fu Panda. Totally worked! Ska-DOUSH! (sp.) I wanted to continue the cheering by sharing with you all (the five people who read this - love ya!) one of the greatest secrets known to mankind, a harbringer of peace and mental clarity in troubled times...

Picture it - you're toodling along, doing your thing, minding your business, and suddenly - there it is. That catchy, pernicious song that gets stuck in your head and WILL NOT GO AWAY. You change the radio dial - you turn on the TV - you stick your fingers in your ears and hum to yourself while driving (yep, that's what they're doing) - you drink water upside down, ANYTHING to get that song out of your mind. And yet, three days later when you're lying on your bedroom floor counting paint strokes on the ceiling and making drool marks on the carpet, it's still there. I know this has happened to all of us - I've seen most of your bedroom carpets, remember. I OFFER YOU A SOLUTION.

(It seriously constantly surprises me how many people don't know about this.)

All you need to return to sanity and save your bedroom carpets is one song, the cleansing song, sorbet for your brain: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". It is the great secret weapon, the mental musical toothpick. The next time "It's a Small World" or "How Do I Live" or "Hey-Ya" or "Baby's Got Back" is rattling around in your cranium like loose change in a jelly jar, just hum a few bars of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (any version is fine, though I'm partial to Judy Garland). I don't know why it works, but it does. Within just a few lines the soul-sucking tune is expelled - and SOtR goes with it. That's right, folks - SOtR is one song that will NOT stick around! Not only does it act as mental Drain-O, it leaves no sticky residue behind! You may have a mild resurgence of the destructive melody hook - just break out the SOtR once more and you'll be free. Works for all ages, all musical genres - both a wistful show tune AND a medical miracle!

Just try it. This one's on me.

"Are you sure this is going to work? "Horse With No Name" will finally be GONE?"

"Well, naturally, having no brain, nothing gets stuck inside HERE. But the Wizard says this is the way to go! Sing it, Dorothy!"

Today's Song in My Head

"Girls, I'm positive --
That we've taken this to far.
No, I'm positive;
This is Harvard, not a stripper bar..."

- "Positive" from Legally Blonde: the Musical

This probably isn't all that funny taken out of context, but it's been running through my head all day and since I have come to love and appreciate this soundtrack like no others in recent memory, I keep finding it HILARIOUS. Could be the delivery.

I dunno. It's late. Heh.

If I Were a Rich Man (The Fake Title)

In which we shall see: a fake title (guess the real one!), several conversations (I see single people!), choices, more choices, fewer choices, faith, and action.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who about to turn 30, and is single. She's cute, smart, compassionate, fun, etc... and also concerned about dating and the trends we're seeing among the men in our demographic. (This is a popular topic with us.) She was telling me about her Singles ward, and a friend she knows there who moved in relatively recently from out of state. She was gently prodding him in regards to his lack of dating activity (another popular topic) and his was a very telling response. He talked about the many attractive, intelligent, educated, spiritual girls in the ward and how there were any number he would like to date, but that he's "spoiled for choice". There are so many available women he would date that he can't decide where to start - and so he doesn't date at all!

This concerns me. It also, unfortunately, confirms a long-held theory of mine that men in this area are spoiled - there are so many dating possibilities that they don't bother to make all that much of an effort to choose. Once they get used to not choosing, they begin to lose the ability to do so - they get antsy, and nervous, and unable (or unwilling) to even discuss moving forward to a dating situation. (Note 1: This does not, of course, apply to everyone. However, single men who are reading this post, do not be quick to count yourself out of this grouping! Note 2: You think I'm kidding? You should SEE the guys in the the 31-45 age Singles ward I used to attend!)

Is there a solution? Possibly. Read on.

(*Cue scholarly British voice*) Dating is a strange phenomenon, unusual as an exercise throughout the entire history of the world (as far as my five minutes of Google research would indicate), and unique to the 20th Century. Prior to this time, matchmaking was always the norm. Someone else would decide on a mate for you, for the benefit of all families or other parties involved. Participants dealt with a very different set of expectations - "romance" was not a consideration. For the upper classes, wealth, status, alliances, and heirs were the objective - for everyone else, matchmaking was a matter of finding someone with a complementary situation in life who could bring particular strengths and security to a new family. In many cultures this arrangement produced a stable populace and strong traditions of loyalty and interdependence. There were certainly occasional problems and tragedies, people being selfish and destructive and all, but for the most part matchmaking was a means to a secure, contented, progressive future.

In contrast, for the last 70+ years people have been encouraged to choose for themselves, often falling victim to lust and hormones in the quest for a "soulmate". Relationship expectations have shifted astronomically, and divorce rates have skyrocketed. This is not to say that wonderfully happy marriages have not resulted from dating scenarios - they definitely have. It is a fact, though, that as "dating" has become a prevalent mating practice, the family and its structure have fallen into decline.

The remedy? Well, matchmaking! This appears to be the current social movement, as Internet dating sites explode and actual matchmaking services re-surface and grow - for all that we value our right and ability to choose, we seem (as a people) to prefer to have others narrow our range of choices for us. (Don't EVEN get me started on the election.) How often do we singles half-jokingly ask our married friends and relatives to "find" us someone to date? I am not suggesting that this is a bad thing - the traditional position of a matchmaker, after all, is to evaluate potential candidates and create the most compatible pairing.

Not that I need to remind anyone, but dating is HARD. It shouldn't be, but it is. Transitional generations (read: mine) seem to be having a difficult time incorporating "dating" with current "casual hookups", and are either in denial about attempting internet dating or are obsessively searching for anything to simplify the matching process that does not involve actually ASKING SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE.

Another single friend I was talking with recently (a popular topic with lots of people, evidently) told me that he just "has more faith than other people" - he trusts that the Lord will "take care of it in the Millenium." (*Pause for gasps and strangled snorts*) This, coming from an upwardly mobile, attractive, 40+ man who hasn't dated anyone for 5 YEARS led me to respond that that wasn't faith - it was laziness.

He continued to explain that a couple of bad relationship experiences had left him burned and wary, and that he refused to define himself by his marital status. He's single and fine with it, darn it! That's all very well and good (and I'm not being facetious about that) except that in this same conversation he'd also expressed a desire for children and a family, and was considering adopting. He refuses to be set up on a blind date (or a sighted date), has not asked out anyone himself, reacts to internet dating like it is of the devil, and would rather be a single parent then try any of the various routes to marriage... deciding instead to "let the Lord take care of it." (Note 3: Why do I ALWAYS go for the tough cases?)

My point: Matchmaking seems to be the solution. It's worked since the beginning of time. It honestly makes more sense to have relatively objective people with your best interests at heart (or even completely objective people with financial motivations to have your best interests at heart) find a complementary match for you, without the complications of hormones and lust-ridden judgement issues. (And before anyone blows a gasket, I'm certainly keeping in mind the reality that the social conditioning towards dating means that the individuals involved are going to have a good deal of say in their future match. Also, it's a well-known phenomenon that getting to know someone who is a good match for you intellectually, socially, and emotionally tends to make them progressively more attractive to you as you invest in the relationship. So there.)

Thought: Organize yourselves, and stop FREAKING OUT about finding dates for yourselves. Instead, study your friends and acquaintances, "practice" getting to know people by spending time with family and friends, and then start matchmaking. In the process, if you're suddenly struck by that "spark", or the "it", or whatever the "magic" is that pulls people together, great. Go for it. If you've really been working on your social skills, kindness, and getting to know others this relationship has a better chance of working out. If you don't find that spark, get your people to set you up in social situations with their contacts, and network. It's interactive-matchmaking, combining principles of dating and decision-making with the oversight of interested parties and a relief of pressure since groundwork will have been started for you (as you do the same work for others).

When it comes to not being a pansy, to stepping up and deciding to contribute to changes in your life that may increase personal happiness - you're on your own.

If I were a rich man I'd probably pay someone to take care of pairing me up with the right person. Since I'm not, I turn instead to another song from the same musical and say to my friends, "Matchmaker, matchmaker..."

Watch out for falling turtles (and opportunities to date and/or matchmake) -

Cyd


Coming Soon: The New York Extravaganza post!

Start Spreading the News...

... sorry. Couldn't help it.

I'm off to New York in the morning - so there may not be anything new here for a while! (Then again, there might. I have a post all written, I just need to type it up - maybe I'll polish it on the plane, and drop it online during all that free time I'll have in the next few days, since all the high-schoolers I'll be "hanging out" with are so well-behaved and will need next to no supervision! Or, maybe not.)

I'll see what I can do about a "Crazy Big Apple Picture Post" (C-BAPP? Sounds like a rapper, or a Hanson song) when I get back!

Book Report - Count of Monte Cristo

If you've seen the 2002 movie, you know the very beginning of the story of Alexandre Dumas' Count of Monte Cristo. (You also know that Jim Caviezel is totally hot, but that's another post.) Edmond Dantes, a naive young sailor, comes into a run of good luck when his job performance gets him promoted to ship captain, which means he can proceed with his planned marriage to the lovely Mercedes. (In the book, Fernand is neither an old friend of Edmond's nor nobility, but he is in love with Mercedes.) At his betrothal feast on the eve of his wedding, Edmond is accused by jealous friends of being a Bonapartist, but the circumstantial evidence actually implicates others who would prefer to remain unkown. Edmond, therefore, is found "guilty" and tossed in prison to make sure the story does not come to light.

Edmond spends a little time going crazy, not having any idea what has really happened to him, and eventually he connects with a fellow prisoner who is working to escape. The educated priest begins to teach Edmond as they dig their way out, and Dantes starts to formulate plans of revenge on those who have wronged him. Before they manage to escape the priest dies, but not before confiding in Edmond the location of a secret treasure. Our intrepid hero pulls a bait-and-switch to get himself out of prison, and is picked up by a smuggler's ship. He manages to get himself dropped off on the barren rock that is the island of Monte Cristo, and there discovers the fabulous treasure bequeathed him by the priest. Picked up once more by the smugglers he returns to his home to find his father dead, his friends suspiciously wealthy and titled, his former boss nearly bankrupt, and his fiancee vanished. Let the fun begin!

The newly-created and very mysterious Count of Monte Cristo sets a series of events in motion including rescuing his former boss and starting the downfall of Fernand Mondego (now the Count de Morcerf, having distinguished himself in the army in what turn out to be shady circumstances) and the former ship's purser, Danglars (now Baron Danglars, having made a fortune in banking and speculation). Subplots abound, as well as costumes and secret identities. Marriages are arranged and broken up, suicide is threatened regularly (it's very French, evidently), and everybody's looking to make another few francs. Monte Cristo targets Albert de Morcerf, son of Fernand Mondego and Edmond's former fiancee, Mercedes (who, ironically, is the only person to even come close to recognizing the "Count").

In the end, all wrong-doers are punished, the correct young couples are happily matched up, and the good receive their just reward. The Count of Monte Cristo discovers that Mercedes has suffered as the wife of Fernand, having believed Edmond was dead all these years. He forgives her and gives a final assist to her and Albert after she leaves Fernand in disgrace. He then goes on with his own life, recognizing that he might be allowed a second chance at happiness (though not with Mercedes - sorry, all you romantics out there!). His final message to the truly noble friends he has found is this:

"... [Here] is the secret of my conduct toward you: there is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss...
"Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget that, until the day God deigns to reveal the future to man, the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and hope."



Response:
The book is a fascinating example of the serial novels that were written at the time. Chapters would be published separately in a weekly or monthly newspaper. The set-up of the book made more sense to me when I remembered how it was written - since for the most part each chapter focuses on one subplot and set of people. It's also interesting to watch Edmond's progression, from victim, to rescuing angel, to avenging destroyer and implacable "hand of God", to redeemed and forgiving man. The book would make a much better mini-series than single movie - there are so many events and adventures and personality shifts that one two-hour block really can't do it justice.

The final message is a bit disingenuous - "Wait and hope" is a philosophy that can only loosely be applied to the Count of Monte Cristo. True, he waited a long time to be released from prison, waited again to take his revenge, and waited for final resolution with all the involved parties. "Wait" could be seen as an expression of Edmond Dantes' eventual faith in and reliance on God - a key element seems to be that he is constantly occupied even as he "waits" for the purposes of God to be fulfilled: learning, studying, traveling, etc. His trust evolves into an active faith. Similarly, the version of "hope" expressed in this book seems to be about as far from passive as it's possible to get. Monte Cristo constantly plans and nudges and prepares - he may advocate "hope", but this hope is liberally mixed with the belief that the greatest results come when people take a hand and make constant efforts on their own behalf.

I don't know that I'm ready to tackle the original, unabridged (1400+ pages) version, or even the regular abridged (800+) version - my student abridged (530) version was a quicker read than I would have expected, and had plenty of action and enough philosophy to make it a good lesson. The translation will probably make a difference, too. I liked it!

TO Crime Fighters

*cue black and white*

It was just another day in the office - the ticket office, that is. We were slogging our way through ticket orders when he came up to the window asking for help. Same old story, same old schlub looking for a free ride to a concert or two (which we're happy to provide). We had just changed computer systems, so I took down his information to start a new account - then found that I couldn't print the tickets. I turned the order over to my associate, and here's where things started to get strange.

When I told my pally the schlub's name she jerked and turned pale - and then jumped to her feet to confront the man at the window. "Say," she says, "do you happen to know someone else with the same name as you? I ask because a very good friend of mine with the same name kicked the bucket recently, and I attended his funeral just this week!" He was a cool joe, I'll give him that. He denied everything, and we gave him the tickets. Another satisfied customer! But all was not well on the inside. My associate, following a hunch, checked out the address we'd been given, and commented that it was awfully close to where her friend had lived. Digging a little deeper (by pulling her PDA out of her bag), she unearthed her friend's address and found that they were, in fact, the same. Dun dun DUN! Further investigation led to the discovery that the phone number for the account was a mickey. It looked to us like we'd stumbled onto a case of identity fraud, and it was up to us to make it right.

We contacted the widow and filled her in - turns out she was in the middle of reviewing her finances with her son and it was the perfect time to notify the bank and the credit cards. That’s one widow with one less scam to sort out! We hit up our building security for the surveillance on the lobby, and have shaken them down for a picture of the potential perp. We've now contacted local police, and everyone is on high alert, just waiting for the next hit. The real clincher was when, after receiving "his" tickets, our fraud-pusher remarked that it was too bad the "other" guy was dead, since he wouldn't be able to attend the concert. Folks, we don’t take that kind of levity lightly, especially in regards to larcenous illegalities. Also, we’re a non-smoking building, so don’t hold out for any atmospheric haze in this particular post.

I’ll post updates as the information comes in – we may never know, though, because chances are we scared the man straight when he came in for illicit free tickets and encountered probably the only ticket office in the valley where the employees were intimately acquainted with his deceased victim, and not afraid to throw their suspicions around.

That’s the way we do business.

*cue return to color*