How Not to Move Out of the Country

1) Apply to a school in a foreign country (or, England). Accidentally apply to the wrong program, interview anyway. When they accept you for the wrong program, politely turn them down and apply to a different school. When the second school accepts you, ignore as much of the paperwork and email information as you possibly can. Decide not to look for housing until you arrive in the country. Three weeks before you leave, decide to finally read the schedules they have sent, and realize that they have you enrolled in the wrong program. Contact the local bishop and the accomodations office, and discover there is NO AVAILABLE HOUSING IN THE ENTIRE TOWN. Decide not to attend the second school after all (losing your deposit AND your overseas plane ticket) since it wasn't actually exactly the right program anyway. Re-apply for the following year to the original school, since you're fairly sure they have the right program for you. Make sure you have been telling people for months previously that you were leaving the country, so you can spend the next year hearing "Oh, she's moving to England - FOR REAL this time!"
2) Once accepted into your program, procrastinate dealing with all that "student loan" stuff.
3) Put off looking for housing until two months before you leave, since "no one will know when they're moving yet anyway" and "students will be moving out the same time you get there, so it should be easy" and "the senior missionaries told me not to rent anything until I get there".
4) Feel comforted by the fact that someone in England was impressed that you were looking for housing "so early" and go back to procrastinating.
5) Avoid opening any correspondence from your school or carefully reading any email. There will be time for that next week.
6) Hear a rumor that student aid and visa applications will be changing just a few months before you leave, and wait to look into it until "things have settled".
7) Wait until the last minute to book your flight, and then "work the system" by buying two separate, cheaper flights. Those 12 hours sitting on the floor of the JFK airport after the red-eye flight will be totally worth it.
8) Go into a panic a month and a half before your flight leaves, and read all your paperwork and emails. Decide that it is now too late to apply for your student visa and nonchalantly figure that you can take care of it once you arrive.
9) Make some tentative housing enquiries, but be reassured that the right place will fall into your lap once you arrive. You wanted to experience local B&B's for a couple of days, anyway.
10) Find out after you have hauled yourself to the new country that no, you may not apply for a student visa now that you are here NO EXCEPTIONS NO ADJUSTMENTS DO NOT PASS GO (LITERALLY). Schedule a flight back to New York, since it's closer and a shorter flight and you can apply for the visa from there.
11) Don't bother to check the calendar in case of holidays or get specific details of hours and policies from your visa-expediting company.
12) Spend a week in New York after the five-minute appointment for which you crossed the ocean, waiting for your visa to go into processing since you missed the Friday cutoff by two hours and Monday is a national holiday.
13) Change your return flight to London (having now spent probably double what you spent on your original "saver" flights) and pay the very large change fee.
14) Fly back with your visa and spend the next week trying to catch up on all the things you missed in the actual first week of the term.
15) Quickly discover that the school's program(me) is not anything like what you imagined from the course descriptions, interview, and website.
16) Stick it out anyway, and look into starting it all over again with a different school next year.
17) Find yourself a good therapist and financial advisor.
18) Blog.