Chick-Lit Live

Tonight's agenda: Wedding reception. (Not mine.)

Equipment: "Hooker" stiletto boots, red pearl beads, take-no-prisoners red coat. Slimfast shake (to fend off reception food).

Situation: Brother of the bride is ex-boyfriend.

Mission: Make nice with bride and groom, show ex what he’s missing. Bonus: Irritate single bridesmaids.

Status: ACCOMPLISHED.

Agenda for rest of evening, since there were no convenient attractive single cousins/groomsmen of appropriate age at reception: Pilates workout. DVD of cheesy new dance movie. (It’s a sequel, even.) (They’re always cheesy.)

Status: PENDING.

INSPIRATIONAL MOMENT OF DAY:

Congratulations, friends! (I'm pretty sure at one point she was on my list. Not the list you think, a different list... and she made it off! Awesome! Hope remains!)

News From the Front

I caught the bouquet tonight.

I caught my first at age 13, then two more by 19. There were a few more scattered instances I have striven to repress, and the last bouquet at age 23 was an ambush job for which I deny all responsibility. Since then I've taken pride in my ability to duck out into the hall or suddenly remember my camera in the car or hide behind the cake table while the mother of the bride is looking specifically for me as they're about to throw the bouquet. The military could learn a thing or two from my stealth tactics. Tonight, I got lazy - five minutes after I walked in the call went out for all single women ("...above the age of 13, and taller than 4'10"...") to take the dance floor. The flowers dropped straight for my head, so I was really putting my hands up out of self-defense - and since the 6 or so nearest competitors had ignored both the age and height restrictions (I'm pretty sure there was a 7-yr.-old on my right) it wasn't really a surprise when I took the "prize".

Well, you've got to admit it's a lovely bouquet.

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I have my next rant percolating, and plan to get it down soon. Also a philosophical column, and a series of reviews on movies and books (let me preview that by saying that a shirtless Brendan Fraser was totally worth the price and timing of a midnight movie). Stay tuned.

Days to marathon: 28

Chapters read in Breaking Dawn: 2

Sunday School lessons to do before any more Breaking Dawn: 1

Episodes of Roswell until Max and Liz kiss: 0 (SQUEEEE! Yay for TV on DVD!)