Everything's Coming Up Zombies

I have no idea why, but lately I'm obsessed with all things zombie. It's bizarre. In many ways, I blame Jane Austen. Seriously, I found this book recently :

(you can read more about it here and here)

It's gruesomely hilarious, and a few of my students even managed to work the title into a one-act play they were doing for our class SLAM project. They were a little further ahead of themselves than they realized - they used the title as a movie title rather than the book, and apparently in "real life" the movie version is already in the works. Awesome.

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Runway models as zombies. Totally makes sense. Also, it's a reality series just WAITING to happen.

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An appropriate quote from a friend's blog:

"It's good to be open-minded,but not so open-minded that your brains fall out."

~Dr. Richard Sloan, Professor of Behavioral Medicineat Columbia University Medical Center

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And, in all reality, you've never seen more lifelike zombies until you try to get through a class on the last Friday before the last week of school. I swear, it really is contagious - I felt just as sluggish and brain dead as the students!

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One more book (again, found recently and picked up just for the title):

I'm just waiting for them to pick up the movie rights on this one, too.

Yearbook: The Recap

One week ago, I closed the first full-length show, first musical I've ever directed. Technically, I didn't do it all myself - Phaidra started off the whole thing, staged entire numbers, and got things going with great concepts and ideas. She's all about telling people it's my show, but she really does deserve more credit than she's taking (which is none). She really is fantastic to work with - she brings the ideas, and I polish them up, whether it's Shakespeare, musicals, or the awesome skit we worked up for the End-of-the-Year Drama Club Banquet (it's going to be EPIC). Her work doesn't necessarily NEED my polish, but she always makes room for it and is always appreciative when I offer it. She's an amazing person, truly.

Anyway, we all made it through the show - though after Friday's performance with the cast at Applebee's, Chance did tell me that, in reality, this show was a "sin against God". Snerk. I stood up and very seriously announced that with this rather severe condemnation in mind, we would instead be staging "Charlie Brown" the following evening - and as an experimental piece, each part would be triple cast, and all three actors for the respective roles would all be on stage at the same time. I think it could work.

All joking aside, the show really did turn out pretty well - the music was never anything to write home about, but some of my actors injected real emotion and connection into their parts, to the point of choking up the audience a couple of times. Also, my set really was incredible. I'll get production shots soon, but in the meantime:

I know it's a little dark, but doesn't it look like a shot out of "High School Musical"? All the kids coming together to pull off a miracle and make the show happen, the cheesy lights hanging from the first electric (complete with mirror ball), the dramatic lighting on the rest of the stage, the cameraderie... Ah, high school.

It was a very clean set, with long lines and interesting angles, and had a very cool balance even though it was technically asymetrical. The ramp coming down from off-center was painted by one of my students with the "school mascot" and logo, and it looked terrific. It was honestly tough for all of us when we had to tear it down - up until the last minute my tech crew was still asking if we could leave it up, and save it for next year. Those boys will destroy anything they can get their hands on at the drop of a hat, so that's really saying something.

Some backstage shots:

(This one gets the "bad director" award for taking flash photography backstage in the wings. Oops. Also, "Sue me - I'm just the substitute!")

Quite frankly, for a substitute, I think I'm doing a damn fine job. There, I said it.

And one last time:

Ah, Yearbook - I don't think I'll miss you, but I'll certainly never forget you!

In Extremis

I went running tonight, for the first time in probably 3+ weeks, and I REALLY LIKED IT. It's like I've grown up, or something.

I've got exactly two weeks before the family marathon. I don't know that I can be in shape for it, not having trained regularly for about two months now (I'm pretty sure high school wasn't this hard the first time around) but I'm at least slightly optimistic after tonight's outing. There's also the possibility that I can bike the route instead (or rollerblade... we're all about options!) which will require a little different training... Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

In other news, stress and sleepless nights have the benefit of contributing to weight loss - I may not have worked out for a while, but at least I haven't gained any pounds back!

Mothers - Truth and Extremity

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"The business of Mr. Bennett's life was to keep his daughters alive. The business of Mrs. Bennett's was to get them married."
- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies


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Happy Mother's Day to Moms, Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Teachers, Babysitters, Nurses, Doctors, Hairdressers, Seamstresses, Cooks, Writers, Artists, Scholars, Therapists, and Musicians everywhere!

Yearbook Preview

My set is SO COOL, and it's barely halfway done.

(Even my tech class, who will destroy anything at the drop of a hat, have already asked if they can leave it up for next year instead of taking it down and tearing it up. Wowsers.)

Come see the show (May 14, 15, 16) to see the finished (fingers crossed) version!

You Have Stolen My Theme Song

In which we shall see: The PROM. And resting demons. Also, punch.

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Preface: I think I've been cured.

Prologue: I never went to The PROM in high school. I may have mentioned this before (quite possibly to everyone I have ever met. "Hi, I'm Charisse. Nice to meet you. I was never asked to the Prom, and my entire life has been scarred and twisted because of it. Pity me, and find me a tiara. So, where do you work?" or something to that effect). After I graduated, I decided that someday I would date a high school teacher, so that when he had to chaperone The PROM I could attend with him and semi-vicariously fulfill the misspent purpose of my secondary educational existence. (Ahem.) Things didn't quite work out that way - instead, I started working at a school and I found (to my delight) that the faculty were invited to the formal dance (not called The PROM, which was perhaps a sign or omen... hmm...) and even fed a catered meal beforehand. I had a blind date about two weeks before the dance and things went well, so I asked him to attend with me. He agreed, and then I never heard from him again. Having been stood up for my first ever PROM-like activity, I ended up taking my brother as my date. Honestly, we had a pretty good time (and the food was great) and from there we went to an Army Band dance in Park City... but the fact remains that, essentially, I took my (younger) BROTHER to the PROM.

The next year I didn't get a date - I just went for the food, and the view from the top floor of the Wells Fargo Building. The year after that, my roommate and I got all dressed up, went to the dinner, and then ditched the dance and went to a movie. The following year that same roommate was scheduled to chaperone The PROM at the school where she worked, and one of her now-husband's friends (someone I knew from college, actually) agreed to go as my date. We really had a good time - got some dancing in, and had a great after-dance meal. A few days later my roommate told me that my date had told her that he would never really date me, as he felt I was exceptionally pushy (based on an experience in college, 10+ YEARS ago). So, essentially, my first full-on PROM experience was a pity date.

The following year I had started working at a Performing Arts high school, and the faculty all attended the Homecoming formal. I took a friend with me, and we had a blast - we were complete goofballs (our interpretive dance to a Fergie song made it into the End-of-the-Year video, even). At the end of the evening, over fries at Sonic, he asked me for the phone number of the choir teacher*. Klassy.

This year, my friend asked me to cover for her as she had signed up to chaperone The PROM, but obviously wouldn’t make it to the dance as her due date was only three days before. (BTW, she had the baby – and what with her poor knee and being induced and all the drugs that her system and the kid did NOT like and the emergency C-section it was rather a horrific experience – and all is now well… or at least, well-er… The baby is healthy, and my friend can now spend time recovering from the various surgeries that have and will continue to come her way. Cute kid, though.) I had nearly five months notice, and still couldn’t manage to find an actual date. I did have a couple of friends that would have been willing to go with me, but I’m kinda tired of the “bring a friend” “date”, plus one of them is currently in a show for which he has long hair – and my students said he could only come with me to the dance if he showed up in full costume as a pirate (you have to admit, that would have been AWESOME). I also could have brought a blind date (via my friend, the no-longer pregnant though still gimpy teacher) but I decided I really didn’t want to add “blind date” to the list of PROM experiences. Instead, I would go by myself and have a great time and beat that adolescent trauma and the resident demons into snoring submission. That’s pretty much what happened. Sorta.

The PROM: So, I spent most of the day getting ready, which was REALLY annoying. I always seem to spend way too much time curling my hair for dressy events, even knowing that I don’t actually like the way my hair looks when it’s all curly and fluffy. I curled and I fluffed and I hated it, and then ended up straightening out the curl and fighting for another 45 minutes to find a ‘do I could live with. In the end I looked fine – for once, I don’t think I came across as “trying to hard”. That was a nice change, and it only took 5 hours to accomplish! Then I visited my friend in the hospital and got to hold the baby and hear the entire story of the wretched labor saga – once again, I really don’t feel badly about not having children. Nope. Then off to The PROM, which was being held at the State Capitol (a place I’d actually never been before, but was definitely interested in visiting for the dance).

I helped take tickets, I helped at the refreshments table, I got my PROM picture with as many of my students (and various dates) as I could round up, and I even danced a little. One of the boys in my Productions class asked me to dance during the last song (the theme: “You Have Stolen My Heart”) while his date was in the bathroom (I turned him over to her as soon as she got back), and then I danced for about two seconds with the Student Body President (who is hilarious and on the Improv Team). How’s that for the pinnacle of a pseudo-high school career? I danced with the SBP!

I think it was a good thing I didn’t bring a date – the refreshments table was crazy, and with all the helping out there wouldn’t really have been time to talk to a blind date or even to dance or have fun with a friend-date. Just watching all those kids actually made me glad, once again, that I’m not actually in high school, and reminded me that I don’t want to stay a high school teacher. I can’t wait to see my picture, though – It’ll look something like this:

Pertinent Phacts:
- The theme song, as mentioned, was “You Have Stolen My Heart”, probably by various people but most recently by Dashboard Confessional. It has been playing over the PA before each class EVERY DAY THIS WEEK.
- The colors were black and green, so the refreshments were mint brownies (yummy!) and green punch – it was lime and wheatgrass. NOT KIDDING.
- The most fascinating aspect of the dance was the ice sculpture on the refreshments table – it had a spiral pipe frozen into the center of it, and if you poured punch into a hole in the top it would flow through the pipe and out a spigot at the bottom, where you then had to catch it in a cup. YOU HAD TO POUR IT MANUALLY, and it was fairly high to reach the hole in the ice at the top – and the kids thought it was the coolest thing EVER (no pun intended).
- You can, in fact, get 900+ people in the Capitol Building main hall and still have room for six photo setups AND space to dance (at least around the edges).
- I actually got in trouble with a couple of other chaperones when one of my students accidentally knocked my cup off the balcony banister (fortunately the cup was empty at the time) – my PROM experience is complete.
- Going stag to The PROM evidently does not make you a complete loser (at least not if you’re a chaperone) – I totally got hit on by one of the security guards at the end of the event. He asked me out for coffee. Oops.

Postlude: (yes, I know it’s not the right term, but “Epilogue” didn’t fit with the “theme” ((P’s!)) and as we all know, The PROM is all about the THEME.) So that’s over, and I feel fairly confident that closure has been achieved, and those particular demons are snoozing contentedly with their orchid wrist corsages tucked under their pillows. I wasn’t really considering it until just now, but it’s entirely possible that I will wear my PROM outfit to church tomorrow (along with my fake eyelashes, since I don’t actually have a corsage). That’s what we did in “my” day after fancy dances, you know - the real trick was sleeping so as to disrupt your curly, fluffy updo as little as possible, and pray that the hairspray held up for all three hours of meetings. Talk about kicking your childhood trauma in the teeth! I feel so empowered.

Although I’m not too sure how I feel about the wheatgrass.

Watch out for falling turtles and punch cups,


Cyd


*Yes, Ricky, I know there were extenuating circumstances, such as the fact that I had been planning to set you up with the choir teacher and part of the reason for taking you to the dance was so you could meet her, but it makes a better story if I tell it this way, OK? You know I love you and your awesome "formal" jacket. Also, it WAS slightly tacky for you to bring it up that way, and YOU KNOW IT.

The GAME

In which we shall see: Drama-related non-drama FUN.

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I know I haven't been around for a while - I've been so busy trying to figure out how to teach high school AND have some kind of life outside the "job" AND clean and pack my house (hint: only the first of those three things is something I've made any headway with) that I haven't thought really at all about blogging. If you live for my blog posts, sorry... no, really, I'm sorry - that's just pathetic. (Ironic future blog post: List of Current and Exciting Hobbies That Do Not Involve Keyboards.) But I still love you.

Last weekend I spent all day Saturday (unpaid) at the State Drama Competition; quite frankly, it was oodles of fun. No, I'm not being sarcastic. (Seriously.) I was hoping to sit in on a few of my students' competition rounds to watch their final performances, but instead I was corralled in the library with the other teachers for the day tabulating all the scores as they came in from the judges. Instead of being cranky and surreptitiously ticking off the half-hours in mechanical pencil on the wall, I found myself at a table with the teachers from West Jordan, Jordan, and Skyline High Schools. It was FANTASTIC. First off, to combat his ADD, WJ started a "State Competition Bingo Sheet" complete with odd gestures, swear words, and bodily functions relating to another teacher's newborn baby. Listening to him trying to get random people to say some of the things on his sheet was hilarious. Watching the other people at the table try to keep straight faces as he did so was just about as good. (Next year, J plans to bring official Bingo cards for the entire room.) It took me back to "Fred Bingo" from college (also referenced by a teacher that I went to school with) and that's just good times for everybody.

Second, S taught us an absolutely BRILLIANT game - once we learned how to play, it was nearly impossible to focus on anything else. Evidently, back in college S and one of his roommates realized that every person resembles one of four animals. The full extent of the game is looking around, identifying an animal, and sharing your results with another player. That's it. We pegged our table (we had one of each), all the remaining occupants of the room (under our breaths), and then on the lunch break wandered the halls of the school and zeroed in on students. You don't even know. I got a better workout from laughing that day than I had doing anything else in months. YOU HAVE GOT TO TRY THIS.

The animals:

RAT: It's all in the teeth. Pointy chin, slightly (or not-so-slightly) bulbous eyes. Females are rarer than males in this group, making for much more exciting finds. WJ.

MONKEY: Round face-shape. This has to do more with cheeks, forehead, and ears - it's hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. Me.

PIG: Nose, of course. Otherwise monkey-ish faces will slide over the line if the schnooz has a tip-tilt. Big eyes, small eyes, ears, cheeks - it all comes down to the nose. J.

BIRD: In a way, this one is about the "direction" of the face. The long, straight nose, the delicate bones, the lines that move the eye in a smooth swoop down and out, with the chin and mouth pulling into a ski-jump. They're also just "bird-like". One woman who was sure she'd be pegged as a pig turned out to be a bird because of the actual shape of her facial features. S.

Once you start noticing, and passing on your observations to someone else, it's really hard to stop. My students have no idea why I was stepping into their conversation groups, "listening" intently (I haven't a clue what any of them said), and then ducking out just as I was about to burst into laughter. We four teachers would wander around the commons area where our kids were gathered, make a few mental notes, and then re-group to giggle and nosh on fruit salsa and cinnamon tortilla chips WJ had liberated from one of his crew. It was a very good day.

Honestly, a day like that (even unpaid) would nearly be enough to make me reconsider becoming a real live high school teacher. (And apparently the school's administration is interested in keeping me on as a real teacher, too - but that's another story.)

Family Home Evening, Date Night, Shopping at the Mall - you haven't lived until you've tried The GAME.

(Oh, and apparently an excellent way to combat boredom in church is to set up your own "Testimony Meeting Bingo". Why didn't I think of that?!?)

Watch for falling rats, monkeys, pigs, birds, AND turtles -

Cyd