New Strategy

So I was reading a blog post today in which the writer had talked about having gastric bypass surgery and how worried she was about effectively communicating messages of positive body image to her daughter when she'd had a major medical procedure done herself. As I was trolling through the comments (I don't know if you've noticed, but the smartest, most interesting blogs usually have the smartest, most interesting commenters) one of them struck a chord with me: basically, the commenter said that it's pretty pointless to tell ourselves that we want to 'lose weight' or 'get thin' or 'have more energy' or whatever, as these things for the most part don't work. The thing that works, she says, is when we create a determination to GET HEALTHY, rather than skinny.

I like it. This makes sense to me.

I like having positive thoughts and ideas pulling me forward, rather than other things cutting me off. So, as is my wont, I made at list - these are the 'positive response' things that I'm thinking I can start doing to 'get healthy', instead of trying to 'lose weight':

-In bed by 11:00 (I CAN actually do this one)
- First response: drink water
- Try to do something active every hour or two (get a timer?)
- Veggies first (fruit second) ((anything else after))
- Daily scriptures (half an hour a day, first thing, works better than I thought it would)
- Sign up for a dance class
- Find someone to walk with daily/several times a week
- Schedule an 'exercise activity' once or twice a week
   : hike
   : swimming
   : biking
   : skating
   : a new class (free trials?)
   : (other suggestions?)
- Stretching morning and night
- Learn new meals and recipes, try them out
- Eat three regular meals, or 5 small every-two-hours meals

What else should I try? Anybody want in on this with me this summer? I think I need some water. And maybe some sugar snap peas.

This is a 'happy' apple, not a 'Once Upon A Time'
pass-out-and-DIE apple.  That's not healthy.

Sunday Snippet (and 30 Days Challenge Update)

Today in Sunday School we talked about 2 Nephi 4, and specifically focused on 'Nephi's Psalm' (verses 15-30). Nephi talks about his delight in the scriptures and the things of the Lord, then goes on immediately to bemoan his imperfections and his sorrow over his sins and mistakes. Then he moves back to listing his blessings and the wonderful things Heavenly Father had done for him. It's an interesting pattern, this moving back and forth, and the discussion generated a couple of points in particular that stuck with me. One was that gratitude is the foundation/key/essential element to happiness. When we focus on all that we have and the ways in which the Lord has blessed, protected, and looked out for us rather than on trials and difficulties (big and small), we invariably become happier. The more we practice gratitude, the happier we are. It doesn't take away the trials, but it does certainly help in the enduring of them. (It just occurred to me, as well, that practicing gratitude could be a really good way to avoid sin - if I'm constantly 'pondering in my heart' how thankful I am for the One who has set the rules, I think I'd be a lot less likely to have the time or inclination to break the rules. Huh.)

Another wonderful point was an excellent analogy that came from the discussion: a class member talked about how before departing on any flight (London to New York was the example) a pilot will file a flight plan. Upon takeoff, the plane pretty much immediately deviates from that plan. The pilot compensates to try to get the plane back on course, and often overcorrects slightly in the opposite direction. And so on, for the entirety of the flight: back and forth, one side to the other, criss-crossing the imaginary line that is the flight plan. The closer the pilot can stay to that line, the better, even though there's really no way to actually stick perfectly to the plan. The pilot constantly tries anyway. And in the end, he lands safely at the airport in New York, his intended destination. In 2 Nephi 4 Nephi describes his own small 'course deviations' that lead him slightly off the course the Lord has set, but he knows that in the end all will be well because he trusts in God, repents of his mistakes, and strives to be better. He is grateful, and happy, and reaches the right destination.

* * * * *

And then the bishop asked me to play in Sacrament Meeting about 15 seconds before starting the meeting. Honestly, I was furious - not so much at the bishop as at the usual accompanist, who had walked out the door two minutes earlier without bothering to try to get a replacement himself. To his credit, the bishop did say that it was perfectly all right if I didn't want to play for the meeting, but I knew I'd feel even guiltier about not playing than I felt stressed about the accompanying. And I decided, between trying to fumble my way through the hymns, that it was time for me to get over it. I can't change the ward, I can't make people be responsible (or even considerate), but I can alleviate my own anxiety by sucking it up, killing my own sense of self-importance, and practicing until I feel comfortable playing whatever is asked. I'd much rather (I realized) feel willing and happy to step in and help whenever needed than stew in an irritated-and-grumpy soup. After all, I'm not going to be here forever, and I have asked for help - if I can't change them, I'll just have to change me. No more guilt, much less at-the-moment stress, AND I may finally be a credit to all those years of piano lessons and Mom's creative rehearsal schedules! I'd be an idiot to let them go to waste by being snippy.

Now I just have to formulate the new goal for additional practice time into a 30-day Challenge, and it will be all kinds of official!

Speaking of, the no-chocolate is still going well, and I'm finally starting to stop thinking and talking about it. It's weird, how much of a habit lingers in the talking, even if you're not actually doing it anymore... Another month and a half until Easter - at which point I may not even want to take a break for a candy bar (or a Cadbury egg). We'll see. The journalling didn't go as well - I missed two or three days out of the first 25 or so, and then petered out at the end. I figured I'd need to start over as another 30DC, but I haven't missed it or felt any urgency to get the (good) habit set, so it may have to recycle a little way down the list. I have started a new shot at getting into a better sleeping pattern by being in bed by 11 and up by 7 at least 5 nights a week - made it last night, and then slept terribly with really weird, vivid dreams (and not fun ones; just creepy). Better luck tonight, I hope! And then I'm going to have to pick one of the more interesting 30DC's to try - I wonder where I can find a ukelele in this town...

*

Thirty Days

I saw this great TED talk the other day (if you don't know about TED.com and the fantastic things you can find there, go check it out - and tell me which videos you like best) and I wanted to share it:




Once I saw it, I decided I wanted to try it. Following is my preliminary list of 30-day challenges. I don't expect to do them all at once, of course (though I figure two or three at the same time could be fine) - and I am interested in any other ideas, no matter how crazy they may seem (you may notice, this list currently has a distinct lack of crazy. I'd like to get some wacky challenges in here!). Fire away!

30 days of:
- scripture study morning and night
- morning stretches, series of crunches
- reading a different play
- memorizing a different scripture
- blogging (happy to go again)
- learning a new phrase from a foreign language
- speaking to someone new
- no chocolate
- no sugar
- NaNoWriMo (traditionally November, I think... wait...)
- walking everywhere (local)
- no Facebook
- emailing/messaging someone different that I haven't talked to for a while
- practice doing a handstand; work up to walking on hands (cont. by Matt)
- no procrastinating; refuse to put things off
- write a daily journal
-

...

I think 2012 may have more '30 days' than just your basic twelve!

* * * * *

What challenges are you considering?

*

Things I Learned While I Should Have Been Doing Something Else

I read a book today.

Yes, I know, if you've met me you are not surprised. It's notable, though, in that I started writing down sentences and quotes that jumped out at me while I read. I then discovered a few things once I finished the book. For the sharing:

* '... Maybe there's nothing fundamentally wrong with me. Maybe I've just been making appalling choices.'

* '...The thing to remember about bad luck is that it always runs out.'

* "Try harder, fail better." - Samuel Beckett

* '...When the universe sends you something awful, the converse is only around the corner.'

See: CHEMICALIZATION

* "I'm not needy, but I do require the reassurance of constant attention."

* '... Life is not designed for us to go through alone, you're supposed to have a partner."

These things all struck one chord or another with me, and those chords are probably fairly obvious to you, the audience. The following may not seem so obvious, but the items below are the things I actually learned/realized after reading the book.

* You will achieve the thing on which you focus.

* A person can rarely focus on more than one thing at a time. Since most things a person wants deeply are pretty "big", and there are usually more than one of them, smaller, specific goals that lead to a "big" desire are vital.

* Know thyself. And if you don't, and you ask the people around you to help you get to know yourself, PAY ATTENTION.

* There is a right way to write a story. A book without an ending is a huge cop-out, and will in no way please your readers.

* I am a magpie. I talk too much, and I am too easily distracted (insert "shiny" joke here. I just spent 15 minutes thinking up and discarding several - see above).

* I am also obsessive-impulsive (or, impulsive-obsessive). Anyone who's seen me in action knows what I'm talking about.

* An impulsive-obsessive magpie is not the most productive of creatures. These tendencies must be fought, and conquered, if I am going to be able to truly focus on the things I wish to achieve.

* I got a lot out of the book, and found a little self-actualization, but I still hate it because it doesn't end and it "twist"s and "spin"s in such a way that it tramples on its own premise. SLOPPY. (Try not to do that when you write a book.)

It's interesting (to me, anyway) that when I buckle down and attempt to focus and clean house and change things that are bugging me, I blog a lot more. Hmmm.

* * * * *

Maybe reading that book was what I was supposed to be doing after all.

100 Life Goals (Part 4)

Just to keep them handy, here are Parts 1, 2, and 3.

40 - Learn to cut hair

39 - Exercise at least 3 times a week

38 - Stop complaining

37 - Walk on stilts

36 - Climb a volcano

35 - Take up oil painting

34 - Become a certified storyteller

33 - Do something every day that scares me

32 - Develop a superpower

31 - Watch General Conference: write down things we are asked to do, and do them

30 - Become at least proficient in a martial art

29 - Learn how to choose to be happy (always)

28 - Write a play

27 - Write a musical

26 - Direct children's theater

25 - Become and stay provident

24 - Create a new language

23 - Be a doer, not just an idealist (too vague?)

22 - Make punctuality a habit

21 - Learn yo-yo tricks

I've got five more written down - only 15 to go to get my hundred! Stay tuned!

But I Said: No, No, No....

I am addicted to:

- chocolate (duh)

- ice cream (double duh)

- "cotton candy" reading material

- reading in general

- Facebook

- Facebook stalking (specific target only)

- not sleeping

- sleeping

- computer time

- procrastination (see above)

- Theater

- making lists

Is it an intervention if you call it on yourself?

Rehab will consist of:

- cutting out chocolate, sugar, and ice cream; bribery by way of counter-intuitive reward of Nielsen's Frozen Custard at long intervals for good behavior.

- a year of reading only non-fiction (with some grayish areas, rules to be expounded) starting Feb. 1 (I gave myself a month of "transition" time)

- cutting down Internet time; taking Facebook breaks, just to make sure I can; allowing NO computer access in the mornings before work

- re-instituting the checkbox scheduling list

- making smaller, more manageable lists

- signing up for at least one half-marathon and PAYING for it, to create imperative to get in shape and stop wasting time

- always, always, always read the instructions/guidelines/attachments FIRST and THOROUGHLY

- go to grad school and learn how to focus the theater yen, instead of scattershotting and trying to do everything

- drink more water

- get more sleep

Any other suggestions and possible motivations would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I suppose the proper term would be "scattershooting", but I tried them both and liked "scattershotting" better. I do like verbing words occasionally.

Halloween Hoopla

Day 5 of Halloween Week: Skipped it. Really. Just blew right on by. Maybe had a few Halloween-colored M&M's.

Day 6: Ate candy. Worked on my costume - I'm ALL about the last-minute stuff. (Sigh.) Intended to watch Coraline (in 3-D!) but instead got my parents to watch The Addams Family (as they had never seen the movie) while I kept working. Listened to Plan-B Theater Company's Radio Hour: Alice as it was broadcast over the radio. Cooool. (Very appropriate, too, as I was working on an Alice in Wonderland costume.) It's getting quickly to the point where I'm going to be bragging about knowing Matt Bennett, the playwright (we were at school together at SUU). Loved his Radio Hour: Frankenstein last year.

Day 7 "Halloween": Slept in a little bit. Thank goodness my brother and his wife decided to do their early-Saturday-morning move next week! Got up, kept working on the costume. (Double sigh.) Finally got into makeup and hair in the early afternoon, costumed, and ran some errands - just because it was Halloween and you're allowed, nay, EXPECTED to go out in public in costume on that particular day. Nobody really “got” the outfit (I heard one "cute costume"), but I should have realized that "Black-and-White Alice in Wonderland" or "Original Alice, i.e., from the pen-and-ink drawings from the book" wouldn't exactly be a no-brainer, especially since I had no "Eat Me" or "Drink Me" props. Live and learn. Did a "dine-and-dash" at a dinner party, then went with my friend Ricky to Odyssey Dance Company's Thriller. Third year in a row - LOVE IT! A girl a couple of rows in front of me was dressed as "in-color Alice" so I got a picture. Went home, took off my very pretty wig, and started contemplating ways to re-use the costume next year.



* * * * *

After going for about a month with no ice cream, I am now moving on to cutting out cheese and chocolate (with a few specific exceptions, IF I make my exercise goals). By Thanksgiving, I’m planning to drop sugar altogether.

Also, I may have to start a book blog, because coming up soon I’ll be starting that Year Without Fiction (i.e., Novels). It’s time – I really need to take my brain back.

100 Life Goals (Part 3)

Continuing on the theme of "in no particular order"...

60 - Complete the new Value Virtue
59 - Complete the YW Personal Progress (again)
58 - Teach an Institute class
57 - Go to the Library of Congress (y'know, hang out)
56 - Get a second Masters' degree (see #99)
55 - Learn to cook French food
54 - Learn Origami
53 - Set someone free
52 - Actually rely on prayer
51 - Ride the world's tallest rollercoaster
50 - Send something personal to the moon
49 - Direct a production of a Shakespeare play
48 - Work at the Globe theatre in London
47 - Publish an article on theatre
46 - Be a guest speaker at an Ivy League University
45 - Attend the Tony Awards
44 - Climb Ensign Peak and wave a banner
43 - Read no fiction for one year (will probably start this 2010)
42 - Regular temple attendance - twice a month
41 - Watch someone getting a tattoo

100 Life Goals (Part 2)

80 - Campaign for a cause
79 - Run for public office
78 - Do stand-up comedy (if you see a joke here relating to #79, you're not alone)
77 - Get on a TV show - a drama or sitcom
76 - Be married in the temple
75 - Earn/save one million dollars
74 - Find something good in someone I dislike
73 - Pay a compliment every day
72 - Kiss someone on every continent (except Antarctica)
71 - Visit Bora Bora
70 - Sing while flying in a hot-air balloon
69 - Go dancing in New York
68 - Be quoted in a newspaper
67 - Consult for a newsjournalism show
66 - Make something that is worn by someone famous
65 - Photograph a perfect moment
64 - Do a group hug with at least 200 people
63 - Participate in a flash mob
62 - Give away something expensive/valuable to someone in need
61 - Dance in a fountain


Note: Already, it has been interesting having these written down and noticing how often I think about them or find them occurring. No, I haven't yet planned a trip to Bora Bora, but I have to concede that writing things down really does make a difference. Right on, Sara!

100 Life Goals (Part 1)

In no particular order:

100 - Write a book
99 - Get a Master's degree
98 - Dramaturg a Broadway production
97 - Live in Italy for at least 6 months
96 - Live in Spain for at least 6 months
95 - Shave my head
94 - Grow my hair long
93 - Learn sign language
92 - Read all the Standard Works within a year
91 - Teach at a University
90 - Visit India
89 - Be in a Bollywood movie
88 - Attend a Nascar race
87 - Write a sonnet
86 - Memorize the Gettysburg address
85 - Have an article published in the Ensign
84 - Be cast in a show where my character is kissed onstage
83 - Get at least 12 dates a year
82 - Run a full marathon
81 - Starting in 2010, do two half-marathons a year

(to be continued...)

You Have Stolen My Theme Song

In which we shall see: The PROM. And resting demons. Also, punch.

* * *

Preface: I think I've been cured.

Prologue: I never went to The PROM in high school. I may have mentioned this before (quite possibly to everyone I have ever met. "Hi, I'm Charisse. Nice to meet you. I was never asked to the Prom, and my entire life has been scarred and twisted because of it. Pity me, and find me a tiara. So, where do you work?" or something to that effect). After I graduated, I decided that someday I would date a high school teacher, so that when he had to chaperone The PROM I could attend with him and semi-vicariously fulfill the misspent purpose of my secondary educational existence. (Ahem.) Things didn't quite work out that way - instead, I started working at a school and I found (to my delight) that the faculty were invited to the formal dance (not called The PROM, which was perhaps a sign or omen... hmm...) and even fed a catered meal beforehand. I had a blind date about two weeks before the dance and things went well, so I asked him to attend with me. He agreed, and then I never heard from him again. Having been stood up for my first ever PROM-like activity, I ended up taking my brother as my date. Honestly, we had a pretty good time (and the food was great) and from there we went to an Army Band dance in Park City... but the fact remains that, essentially, I took my (younger) BROTHER to the PROM.

The next year I didn't get a date - I just went for the food, and the view from the top floor of the Wells Fargo Building. The year after that, my roommate and I got all dressed up, went to the dinner, and then ditched the dance and went to a movie. The following year that same roommate was scheduled to chaperone The PROM at the school where she worked, and one of her now-husband's friends (someone I knew from college, actually) agreed to go as my date. We really had a good time - got some dancing in, and had a great after-dance meal. A few days later my roommate told me that my date had told her that he would never really date me, as he felt I was exceptionally pushy (based on an experience in college, 10+ YEARS ago). So, essentially, my first full-on PROM experience was a pity date.

The following year I had started working at a Performing Arts high school, and the faculty all attended the Homecoming formal. I took a friend with me, and we had a blast - we were complete goofballs (our interpretive dance to a Fergie song made it into the End-of-the-Year video, even). At the end of the evening, over fries at Sonic, he asked me for the phone number of the choir teacher*. Klassy.

This year, my friend asked me to cover for her as she had signed up to chaperone The PROM, but obviously wouldn’t make it to the dance as her due date was only three days before. (BTW, she had the baby – and what with her poor knee and being induced and all the drugs that her system and the kid did NOT like and the emergency C-section it was rather a horrific experience – and all is now well… or at least, well-er… The baby is healthy, and my friend can now spend time recovering from the various surgeries that have and will continue to come her way. Cute kid, though.) I had nearly five months notice, and still couldn’t manage to find an actual date. I did have a couple of friends that would have been willing to go with me, but I’m kinda tired of the “bring a friend” “date”, plus one of them is currently in a show for which he has long hair – and my students said he could only come with me to the dance if he showed up in full costume as a pirate (you have to admit, that would have been AWESOME). I also could have brought a blind date (via my friend, the no-longer pregnant though still gimpy teacher) but I decided I really didn’t want to add “blind date” to the list of PROM experiences. Instead, I would go by myself and have a great time and beat that adolescent trauma and the resident demons into snoring submission. That’s pretty much what happened. Sorta.

The PROM: So, I spent most of the day getting ready, which was REALLY annoying. I always seem to spend way too much time curling my hair for dressy events, even knowing that I don’t actually like the way my hair looks when it’s all curly and fluffy. I curled and I fluffed and I hated it, and then ended up straightening out the curl and fighting for another 45 minutes to find a ‘do I could live with. In the end I looked fine – for once, I don’t think I came across as “trying to hard”. That was a nice change, and it only took 5 hours to accomplish! Then I visited my friend in the hospital and got to hold the baby and hear the entire story of the wretched labor saga – once again, I really don’t feel badly about not having children. Nope. Then off to The PROM, which was being held at the State Capitol (a place I’d actually never been before, but was definitely interested in visiting for the dance).

I helped take tickets, I helped at the refreshments table, I got my PROM picture with as many of my students (and various dates) as I could round up, and I even danced a little. One of the boys in my Productions class asked me to dance during the last song (the theme: “You Have Stolen My Heart”) while his date was in the bathroom (I turned him over to her as soon as she got back), and then I danced for about two seconds with the Student Body President (who is hilarious and on the Improv Team). How’s that for the pinnacle of a pseudo-high school career? I danced with the SBP!

I think it was a good thing I didn’t bring a date – the refreshments table was crazy, and with all the helping out there wouldn’t really have been time to talk to a blind date or even to dance or have fun with a friend-date. Just watching all those kids actually made me glad, once again, that I’m not actually in high school, and reminded me that I don’t want to stay a high school teacher. I can’t wait to see my picture, though – It’ll look something like this:

Pertinent Phacts:
- The theme song, as mentioned, was “You Have Stolen My Heart”, probably by various people but most recently by Dashboard Confessional. It has been playing over the PA before each class EVERY DAY THIS WEEK.
- The colors were black and green, so the refreshments were mint brownies (yummy!) and green punch – it was lime and wheatgrass. NOT KIDDING.
- The most fascinating aspect of the dance was the ice sculpture on the refreshments table – it had a spiral pipe frozen into the center of it, and if you poured punch into a hole in the top it would flow through the pipe and out a spigot at the bottom, where you then had to catch it in a cup. YOU HAD TO POUR IT MANUALLY, and it was fairly high to reach the hole in the ice at the top – and the kids thought it was the coolest thing EVER (no pun intended).
- You can, in fact, get 900+ people in the Capitol Building main hall and still have room for six photo setups AND space to dance (at least around the edges).
- I actually got in trouble with a couple of other chaperones when one of my students accidentally knocked my cup off the balcony banister (fortunately the cup was empty at the time) – my PROM experience is complete.
- Going stag to The PROM evidently does not make you a complete loser (at least not if you’re a chaperone) – I totally got hit on by one of the security guards at the end of the event. He asked me out for coffee. Oops.

Postlude: (yes, I know it’s not the right term, but “Epilogue” didn’t fit with the “theme” ((P’s!)) and as we all know, The PROM is all about the THEME.) So that’s over, and I feel fairly confident that closure has been achieved, and those particular demons are snoozing contentedly with their orchid wrist corsages tucked under their pillows. I wasn’t really considering it until just now, but it’s entirely possible that I will wear my PROM outfit to church tomorrow (along with my fake eyelashes, since I don’t actually have a corsage). That’s what we did in “my” day after fancy dances, you know - the real trick was sleeping so as to disrupt your curly, fluffy updo as little as possible, and pray that the hairspray held up for all three hours of meetings. Talk about kicking your childhood trauma in the teeth! I feel so empowered.

Although I’m not too sure how I feel about the wheatgrass.

Watch out for falling turtles and punch cups,


Cyd


*Yes, Ricky, I know there were extenuating circumstances, such as the fact that I had been planning to set you up with the choir teacher and part of the reason for taking you to the dance was so you could meet her, but it makes a better story if I tell it this way, OK? You know I love you and your awesome "formal" jacket. Also, it WAS slightly tacky for you to bring it up that way, and YOU KNOW IT.

En Medias Redux

Today my blog turns one - I was going to get all dramatic and "What a year it's BEEN!"-ish, but I just don't have the energy. Instead:

A year of Sameness: I'm still teaching high school. I'm still teaching Gospel Doctrine. I still have the same roommate, red hair, and two jobs. I'm still not as funny as I like to think I am. I'm still single.

A year of Differences: The two jobs are now two compeletely different jobs. I assistant-directed a show, and am currently working on assistant-directing two more. I don't work with anyone who bugs me. I've been exercising regularly, and have drastically changed my eating habits. I'm actually a little funnier than I thought I was. Flossing is a (probably) permanent habit.

Something important I've learned: I may still have impulse-control problems (and I do, believe me) but it is possible for me to think first, and then NOT act. Really.

Goals for the next year: Grad school (now or never!). Write more, and build on things I've written before. Stop procrastinating. Meet guys I could actually date (and actually be interested in dating). Figure out how to stop being too freaked out to date. Kiss lots. Be kissed more. (Shut up, it's still Valentine's Day.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Week in Review -

- I choreographed three songs this week. I had no idea I could do that.
- I got a rose from a student, and cookies from Phaidra (Valentines' treats). On Friday I gave out little heart pins to anyone who hugged me.
- Also Friday, I emceed an Improv Exposition show, and evidently did a pretty good job. I think I may have been permanently hired.
- I found my catchphrase for the next four months: "Motivate, dammit!" Hilarity ensued.
- At improv rehearsal I received major kudos for my Irish accent.
- I continued in my quest to tick off the costumers out at Hale by showing them up with the magnificence of the set decor. (I'm a little bit kidding here, but they really have been grumbling. Heh. Heh heh heh.)
- I made quite a bit of progress on my next dummy - it's now lying in the hall at the theatre, frightening the unwary.
- I hosted a successful Valentine's Day gathering that included scones, cupcakes, terrible sugar cookies (no more Pillsbury for me!), chocolate that I did not eat, North and South, and a backrub from an actual boy. (There was a proposal for a couple of holiday-appropriate make-out sessions, but no dice. Curses.)
- I was on time for all meetings this week.
- I made definitive progress in my search for self-discipline and impulse-control.
- I actually ran/jogged on the treadmill every time I went to the the gym, I started Jon Schmidt's lessons for the piano, practiced juggling, and discovered that early morning workouts make me REALLY cranky.

* * * * *

Here's to another year!

Watch out for falling turtles,


Cyd

Day 14 - Sainthood Pending

I made it to work 5 MINUTES EARLY. Without excessive speeding. Two more days of this (maybe just one if I make it 10) and it could count as an actual miracle.

* * * * *

My old friend Pinched Nerve is back. He is joined by his close neighbors, Aleve and Advil. Should be an interesting day.

Day 13 - Monday Report and Review

In which we shall see: Pictures of a cultural icon (Garfield), a report card (no grades), irony alerts, and a break with tradition.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm sure we can all relate.

About two weeks ago, I set out some goals - today I want to evaluate and see how it's going so far.

1 - BE ON TIME TO EVERYTHING.

The first week, I was awesome. I made it on time to: work everyday, every rehearsal, every appointment, and church. I wouldn't say I was EARLY very often, but I always made it on time. Last week, I didn't do as well. Maybe it's psychological - I heard again that my family thinks I'm late to everything, and most of last week was family events... and I was pretty generally late. I wasn't usually LAST, but I wasn't early or on-time. Bleh.

- Today I made it to work on time, but only barely. I think the problem (besides not liking to get up, which might be helped by other goals) is that I'm in the habit of checking things online in the mornings while I'm getting ready, and we all know what a time-sucker THAT can be. *Irony bell ringing* So, time for a new plan in the mornings! Skipping to...

2 - EXERCISE EVERY DAY. Again, I did pretty well that first week, but then came Conference and the pinched nerve and family activities blah blah blah. Today, it was the residual stiffness and "will have time to workout in the afternoon." I'm seeing that it's gotta be the mornings - in the afternoons (if I'm not at work) and evenings there is just too much else to do, and I am far too easily distracted. I really do need that stretching workout today, so I'll get to it tonight - and then right back to it tomorrow morning. Right after...

3 - GET MORE SLEEP. Yeah. This really hasn't been happening. OK, family stuff is done, everyone's gone home, it's getting colder and it will be far more efficient to warm up in bed than by puttering around the house doing unimportant things. Exercise early, get to bed early. Right.

4 - COMMUNICATE ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS BY PHONE, NOT EMAIL. Not too much application here in the past few weeks - most of the people I needed to talk to were around, anyway. I haven't made any official announcement to this effect, though I will email it out soon *Irony alarm sounds loudly*. I did mention this new policy to a few people, so it shouldn't be a big surprise. I do see that it will potentially be a very important concept in the next few months.

5 - STOP GIVING ADVICE. It's been surprising to me how often I've had to restrain myself in the last two weeks. I had no idea I was such a know-it-all! *Irony bell falls silent, having broken with exertion* I can think of one specific incident where I gave advice recently, but I do think that was more along the lines of a "teaching" episode than a "let me give you the benefit of my insight and opinions" occasion. For the rest, well, I guess I know now why my tongue has been so raw - all the biting - and maybe I'm finally learning to shut up!

ADDENDUM - LISTEN TO DIRECTIONS FROM SELF. Either I've been too tired to give myself directions, or feeling too self-pitying or entitled to give myself helpful instructions. We'll see how I do this week, as I talk myself into making habits of these goals!

Note: One brother-in-law asked me how I was doing on my "no chocolate" goal - as we can see, that goal is not on this list. It probably should be, and my excuse for stuffing myself full of sweets over the weekend was to get so sick of them that I wouldn't want to eat any more. I recognize that at this point, that's not very likely. Maybe the next list!

* * * * *

FYI: If I ever get married, I foresee three events: 1) - An egagement dinner, involving friends and family. 2) - The wedding, probably followed by a meal for the group at the ceremony. 3) - Three+ weeks later, a big party with a band, dancing, and all kinds of food.

That's it. No reception, no fluffy dress, no receiving line, no bouquets, none of that stuff. Doesn't that sound much easier, and much more fun?

Watch out for falling turtles,

Cyd

Day 10 - Good Morning

For no real reason (which is the point), I present:



Weather permitting, I'm off to the Timpanogoos Cave and the Alpine Slide with my sister and her family. (Between the hikes and the four kids, this should count as at least four days' worth of exercise.) "Goals Re-Evaluation" post coming soon.

Day 2 - Bonus Content: Goals Post +

Addendum to Goal List: Anytime I tell myself, "Self, you should wait until tomorrow" or "Self, you really need to put the book down and go to sleep" or "Self, this crappy fanfiction is REALLY not worth your time" or "Self, don't say that" or "Self, you know you need the exercise, stop whining and GO already" or "Self, walk away from the ice cream - no, OK, RUN away from the... - Seriously, PUT DOWN THE SPOON and GET OUT OF THE FREEZER", I am going to listen and obey.*



(*Except maybe for that last one. Some arm-wrestling just might happen there.)

Day iii - International Flava

Apparently, I am the Resident Office Spanish Specialist (ROSS - not just for dresses anymore!). I don't actually speak Spanish, understand, but I have a few phrases memorized + a very good accent (take drama!) and this means that I get the "tough" non-bilingual cases. Other ticket agents have now started sending anyone they don't understand to my window. "Oh, you're Chinese? Could you step to the next window? (She knows Spanish.)" I'm fine as long as they don't ask me any questions... Lea el papel antes* de la conferencia, por favor. Es informacion muy importante!**

A Tutorial for Those Who Want to Know: (regarding General Conference)

- All stakes in the United States and Canada are sent an allotment of tickets (regardless of what your Stake President says). It's not a lot of tickets, it's true, but as we say - "The Church keeps growing, the Conference Center does not." Because of this allotment we do not issue any tickets to anyone who lives in the U.S. (Sorry.) During the week before Conference, however, we do issue tickets to International Visitors. It's one of the two legitimately crazyfranticbusy weeks of the year. We literally talk to people from all over the world - as nuts as we all get, it is a lot of fun. (Plus, kind/happy people from all over bring us all sorts of international treats!) As much fun as it is, we're also counting down the days until it's over (4.5).

* * * * *

Humility Inducer: I have a huge infected (painful!) zit on my chest just under my chin, and don't own a single round-neck top. Good thing I just bought a new tube of concealer. (Ouch.)

* * * * *

I backslid a little last night - I stayed up late writing a letter and talking to my sister (yay for phone time) and then extraneously reading... but I did manage to haul myself out of bed this morning to do a workout. I tried a new Cardio Dance DVD, and well... I really suck. I persevered, though, got the water and the vitamins, let myself get distracted on the computer, and had to scramble to get out of the house on time (which I did) - but no breakfast for me! (Unless ice cream counts; it was Haagen Daas Strawberry - individual size - which is good for you, right?) I did make it to work on time, with at least half a minute to spare. Tomorrow I WILL increase my buffer zone.

* * * * *

I'll officially kick off my "30 Days" Posts tomorrow with pictures and a recap of my recent Shakespeare coaching. I'll attempt to be brief - but I make no promises.


Shakespeare cartoon

*Thanks to Mr. B for the correction :-) My original translator gave me the correct spelling, but I'm a stubborn dork and for some reason liked "ontes" better. Duh.
** "Please read the paper (i.e., the one I'm now handing you) before the Conference. It is very important information."

Day ii - Sunday with Greeks

Last night I attended a graduate recital performed by a friend of mine, a piece titled Orpheus and Euridice for piano, clarinet, and soprano. It was just gorgeous, and the following part stood out to me (closet romantic that I am):
Part 6: Song

He wrote a song for her.

I am part of something now.
I was tall among the grasses
Where the rushing water passes
Through the land that I have known,
But I always felt alone.

I could scale the highest stone
Which erupts in giant masses.
Where the largest deep sea bass is
You will find the lines I've thrown.
There were stars that just for me
Shone,
Here, where I have grown.
But I always felt alone.

With you,
My heart begins to know
The way in which
The world I see
Is me,
And I am it, somehow...
I am part of something now.
I am part of something now.

* * * * *

I want something that makes me feel this way.

* * * * *

Last night I dreamed that the roots of my hair were turning blue.

This morning I worked out, drank a bottle of water and had my vitamins, ATE BREAKFAST AT MY TABLE (rather than in my car or at my desk), and made it to work on time (two minutes early). Aw, yeah.

Day i - Goals Post

In which we shall see: ...nothing at all to do with football (sorry, sports fans).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I know I haven't posted in a while, and to make up for it you will have a GLUT of entries to sort through in the next month... because I'm doing a "30-Days Post"! The idea is to get something up every day for a month - I'll try for journaling, pictures, links, jokes, quippage, etc. Stay tuned. As a prep, I'm posting today about several goals and changes that are scheduled to happen IMMEDIATELY. Now, according to John Tesh (that Evening Radio Guru of Wisdom and Knowledge), changes are more effective when they happen all at once, en masse, rather than gradually. For example, your efforts are more likely to stick when you quit smoking, change your diet, and begin an exercise program all at the same time instead of trying to add a new lifestyle shift every couple of weeks. I'm not entirely sure of the psychology behind this summation, but my current methods aren't working so I'm willing to give it a try (plus, JOHN TESH. The ERGWK. Also, the smoking thing isn't going to be a problem). And so, the GOALS:

BE ON TIME (TO EVERYTHING). I recently found out that in the family I have the reputation of always being late. Which... is almost true. I'm never late to rehearsals, and close enough to never to count for concerts and shows and the like - but I am pretty much consistently late to things like church, work, and family gatherings (insert own analysis here). I don't like this aspect of myself, and so it will now stop. I WILL be on time, with the target being 10 minutes early. Today I was on time to EVERYTHING (church, recital, choir practice) - although almost immediately after I managed to find a seat in the chapel 3 minutes before the Sacrament Meeting started I was asked to fill in for the chorister, and also ended up helping out the Primary Program on the fly. So, potential downsides to punctuality... ;-)

COMMUNICATE ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS (SCHEDULING, ISSUES, ANYTHING INVOLVING MY FAMILY) BY PHONE, NOT EMAIL. In my family, we have some difficulties with communication, and I've come to realize that many of those problems could potentially be solved if we just TALKED to each other, and aided communication with tone-of-voice and things like that. In a sad case of "Telephone" I recently heard that one sister-in-law talked to another sister-in-law, who then proceded to ask my brother's fiance if I had been bad-mouthing initial sister-in-law to fiance in order to give fiance a poor impression of said sister-in-law (not because she'd heard I'd said something, just because she thought I would). URRGHP?!? There are at least two extraneous people involved in this conversation that I can see, and a direct line could have avoided all kinds of hurt feelings (on my part) and misunderstandings (on hers). Additionally, I have never figured out a way to find out exactly why this particular sister-in-law has such a miserable opinion of me - and it may very well come down to a PHONE CALL and a DIRECT QUESTION. Strange concept, I know.

EXERCISE. EVERY DAY. ROUTINE TO INCLUDE CARDIO, STRETCHING, PILATES, OR ANY COMBINATION THEREOF, AS WELL AS WATER AND VITAMINS. Sigh. Just gotta be done. I was determined to lose weight before the upcoming wedding, and at this point it looks like the only weight I'll drop will be when I get my hair trimmed. IT IS TIME.

STOP GIVING ADVICE, SUGGESTIONS, "GENTLE NUDGES", ETC. I can occasionally be a know-it-all busybody (or at least I play one on TV) and while my intentions are always for the best they can sometimes be misread (see above goal re: COMMUNICATION). There will be no more parenting or relationship advice (see the irony?); no more fashion, decorating, or gift suggestions, and no life-coaching. It's time to use my powers for actual good by turning them on myself, since for the most part people treat advice with a "getting what they paid for" attitude. Free is free, people, but no more pearls will be tossed to mingle with the asphalt in local construction zones. I will now operate on the assumption that I am surrounded by capable adults who are actually (if subconsciously) cognizant of the solutions to their dilemmas, and don't need me pointing them out. Maybe I can spend the time I save on internal pursuits, and get MY life in order. (I... think there might be a LITTLE flexibility built into this particular goal, but in general, if you ask for my help - over the phone, natch - please expect that my answer will be "I think you should pray about it. So, how's the [insert hobby/class/family project here] coming?")

GET MORE SLEEP. In bed by 10:30, so as to get up by 6:30 to do the daily workout. This means the post is just about done, as I now have approximately 4 minutes (ignore the time stamp below, it's a bit wonky).

I'll report back, and look for something new (and different!) tomorrow and for the next month! Please feel free to comment lots!

Watch out for falling turtles (and [insert relevant accomplished goal here]),

Cyd



P.S. I have, in fact, flossed my teeth nearly every day this year. It's now habit. Obviously, I can achieve anything I set my mind to.

It's a Sin (one of 7)

In which we shall see: nothing so bad as the post title would imply (I think), long-armed furry animals, tracks in the carpet, things that almost happen, a list, big news, a stiff upper lip, "Dear Auntie Cyd", and familial lunacy.

* * * * * * * * *

I don't really have much to report, so this will more than likely bit something of a ramble. My current job just cut hours down to 20 hours a week per person, and that has left me with a couple more days off a week. That's really only OK for about the first week - after that, one starts to realize that (along with the sudden drop in income) a person generally does better when she has a real, Day-Timer worthy reason to leave the house. I am such a LURP. I haven't exactly been sleeping all day (that was last week), but I probably could be mistaken for a tree-hanging mammal. In my own small defense, I really haven't been feeling well or sleeping well the past few weeks, so days when I don't have any scheduled appointments make it that much harder to get going. Probably the most exercise I get on a regular basis is the series of laps I do between my bed and the "snooze" button on my alarm clock. Today I almost did some housecleaning, very nearly got a load of laundry in, and WILL in fact get out of the house for an, er, "appointment" (more in a minute) and a two-mile walk/jog. It's 8:00. P.M.

At least I'll also be able to say I blogged today.

Plans:

- Clean out storage. Sell things on Ebay.

- Make/sell jewelry. Next month, put together website. (Want to wait until my web designer gets settled in her new house.)

- Find second part-time job/one full-time job. Will probably stick with odd jobs or SP-T job until fall, when job market opens up a little and vacations are over.

- Finish next dramaturgical packet for Pinnacle Acting Company. (Romeo and Juliet. Bleh.)

- Try badgering (er, "persuading") local theatre companies to let me come on as a paid, assistant, or intern dramaturg.

- Get dramaturgy portfolio DVD compiled, ready for grad school applications.

- Help prepare jewelry, flower girl dresses, and anything else that needs doing for my youngest brother's wedding.

Yeah.

I'm officially the last single member of my family. It's not like I didn't expect it, but it is still a little strange... We're having family pictures taken next month, and each sibling's family is wearing a different color - and I'm halfway tempted to just show up in my own color (burnt orange, or gray, maybe). I won't, 'cause I think it would make my mom feel bad (and there really aren't any colors left I look GOOD in, so...), and it's just weird, you know? It's certainly nothing about my brother's fiancee, who's a darling girl... It's just...

Years ago, I remember my mom saying that one of her dreams was to have all her children present in the temple when the youngest was married. And we all will be, which is wonderful, it's just a little hard to know that I'll be the only one there by myself. (Naturally, this situation wouldn't have ocurred to anyone all those years ago.) On the plus side, I have made it clear that I am not eligible for bridesmaid's duties (honestly, when the bridesmaid is a good thirteen years older than the bride things are gonna get uncomfortable for everybody). Also, I really do want to get a Master's Degree and work as a dramaturg in New York, and then maybe (MAYBE) come back here and start a Performing Arts School... while intermittently traveling the country (and possibly the world) doing important work in the development of theatre (and perhaps working on movies) while writing books and a syndicated humor/advice column; which is gonna be just a little difficult if I a) have a husband/family or b) don't get moving and stop being so lazy!

To that end, there is one other bit of news - most of the family is taking part in the Pocatello Marathon on August 30. We are not a particularly athletic family, being much more inclined towards the artsy and musical and computer-oriented aspects of society, but one person got interested, and it snowballed, and peer pressure reared its ugly (yet effective) head, and we're off. My oldest brother and my brother-in-law are doing the full marathon; while my sister, sister-in-law, youngest brother, and myself are doing the half marathon. All the rest of the siblings/in-laws (and parents) are coming along for support and to offer child care. The other day, Mom said she wanted to do the marathon NEXT year with all of us... oy. Gotta make it through August, first!

I'm off now to help plan flower-girl dresses, and to get in my two miles - I'm hoping that the exercise will help me get ready for the (half) marathon, sleep better tonight, and motivate me to actually get some things done tomorrow. Quite a lot to expect from two little miles, eh?

Watch out for falling turtles (and bouquets),

Cyd

Days to marathon: 52