I'm officially establishing, as a feature of this blog, an outlet for day-to-day living advice that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, boost your love life, make you smarter AND more sensitive, and (FDA approval pending) lower your cholesterol.
Today's edition: Open Communication
If someone should invite you to a particular activity (say, a girl invites a guy to a show strictly on a platonic basis, though girl and guy may not know each other all that well and guy may be unsure of the purity of her platonic intent - I'm guessing, here) PLEASE respond honestly, clearly, tactfully, and in a timely fashion. Bluntness is fine, if it's accompanied by restraint ("I wouldn't go anywhere with you if a Libyan terrorist had a gun to my head" is almost never an appropriate response) and a pleasant tone of voice. Telling her that you need to think about it, and then thinking about it for so long that you A) completely forget the invitation, risking her embarrassment at having to ask you again, or B) hope she'll forget she asked you (which she won't), risking embarrassment for both of you when she asks you again and you then have to come up with an answer, is usually not a good idea. Instead, here are some simple, workable responses.
OPTION 1: "Sure, why not? Sounds like fun."
OPTION 2: "Thanks for the invite, but (particular activity) is not my thing. Have a good time without me, though!"
OPTION 3: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you - is tomorrow OK?" (This option is only viable if you actually do the follow-up!)
- Follow-up OPTION 1: "Looks like I can make it - what were the details?"
- Follow-up OPTION 2: "I'm sorry, I'm busy that night - thanks for the invite!"
See how simple those responses are, rather than dragging it out for DAYS ON END? Do not cave to pressure, real or perceived - relax, be honest, be casual, and nobody goes home with a cleaver-stabbed pumpkin. "Let me think about it" does not spare anyone's feelings, and being blunt (kindly) with a negative response may cause a little twinge but will allow everyone to move on. Chances are a "No" won't particularly sting at all - but twisting up a person's potential social calendar because you're a pansy WILL come back to bite you.
Trust me on this.
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1 comment:
Two little words: ICE and THIN. (Does calling "thin" a little word count as a double- or even triple-redundancy?) Use those in whatever order seems appropriate. If you hear a cracking sound it's already too late. :+)
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