An Open Letter (That Is Not Likely To Be Read By The Pertinent Individuals)

So. Here it is.

Remember when I told you, oh, last summer, that I wouldn't be chasing after you, trying to pin you down anymore? That still applies. You're three-for-three on flaking out on invitations I've made to you that you've accepted, then blown off. I've moved a ways past "shame on me" status here - and I'm pretty sure that all your "we need to get together" and "I owe you a date" talk is just a lot of hot air. Texting does not a relationship (of any sort) make, and I never signed up to be your Lonely Hearts Cruise Director in the first place. (Oh, and recognizing to whom you are speaking AND spelling her name correctly - FAIL - are, oddly, important in a friendship. FYI.) As far as I can tell, we're not anything to each other anymore, so this is not a breakup. This is a me-growing-up (ha) and-removing-myself-from-whatever-outer-darkness place I have on your priority list. I'm not faulting you (much), it's your list - I'm faulting myself for realizing that "I don't believe you" feeling has been the hallmark of our interactions and for allowing pseudo-flirtation and empty promises to stand in place of real intent and action. My bad. I'm not heartbroken or anything - there are no country-music songs being written in my head this week - and we'll never actually have this conversation simply because I don't believe you've ever thought about any of this. You'll probably miss me, but you'll get over it - I know I'll miss you, but then, I've had a lot of practice.

Oh, and you, yes, you - the one over there sitting on your broken-legged Bar Stool of Superiority - GET OVER YOURSELF. Doing things in an accepted and established way is not food for scorn just because it wasn't your idea in the first place. Most people (that I've talked to, anyway) actually think it's a good policy to research a text (i.e., read it) and base a plan of action on that, rather than on the hazy vision floating around inside the heads of crazy persons. In a related note, I DO know how to read, and to listen and retain information - skills you seem to be seriously lacking. I get that you don't like me - I don't understand why you came to that conclusion, but hey, I can accept your decision. What I do not accept is your determination to condescend to and purposefully misunderstand me, to make accusations for which you have no basis, and to hold me responsible for situations over which I have no authority. Grow up. Make at least some attempt to act in the professional manner that your position requires. Communicate (effectively, please) even if you don't want to, and either OWN UP or SHUT UP. Please note that it is entirely likely that we will be having some version of this conversation in real life. Should be fun for everybody!

Talk about your falling turtles,

Cyd

P.S. Note to self: What is it with you and idiot guys? Get a grip, get some therapy, or both! Also, It's probably not the BEST idea to blog about these kinds of things late at night. Remember how we talked (at length) about impulse control? Try applying it, -K-?

P.P.S. Whatever, self. I'm on a roll. Better to hope that this translates to RL motivation and empowerment!

P.P.P.S. In the end, I got into grad school in London and will not have to deal with these people (others like them, no doubt, but not these specifically) for much longer. Win-win (for me).

P.P.P.P.S. Separate grad school post to follow!