Mistaken

Today I got exactly what I wanted, though it wasn't at all what I asked for. I paid for it, both with a great deal of emotional anxiety and a (relatively) hefty chunk of change. This two-for-one could finally be my ultimate motivator, and may even go some way towards teaching me impulse control. The experience itself turned out to be pretty fun, and it is (thankfully) not likely to be repeated. It's also possible that I will finally have broken my decades-long M.O. of asking a guy out and afterwards having him never speak to me again - or at least have found the exception to that rule.

It's not often that you can definitively pinpoint the end of an infatuation - I hate them while I'm in them (because they make me such a crazy person) and it's still a little sad when they're over; probably because the adrenalin and loopiness contribute to the feeling of being "alive". I suppose that's a small part of what being in love is like - I assume love is much better, though, having two willing participants. It's a relief, being done - I may be my mother's "most dramatic daughter" (per brother number 3, sorry sis - I know you were pitching for the title) but I do not enjoy being crazy wacko person.

So even though nothing turned out the way I expected, I am deeply, sincerely grateful. It's like figuring out how to breathe again after a year spent under water. Also, I paid off a credit card. All in all, a successful day!

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I want to talk about Glee. If you haven't seen the Madonna episode and are planning to don't read this until afterwards - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ok. So. I enjoyed the episode. I always have a good time with the music, and I like the caricatures they're playing with. I regard the whole experience as social satire, not as any kind of accurate representation of high school or glee clubs or life in general. That said, I'm a little surprised by some of the responses I've seen to the last episode, and I'm wondering if everybody else just didn't get it, or if my moral compass is really really off-center. I'm talking, of course, about the plotline dealing with sex.

Context: You've got the entire Madonna catalogue. Can you honestly say you're surprised they chose to use "Like A Virgin"? And having chosen one of Madonna's biggest, most iconic hits (which is to make no determination whether or not I personally like the song) how can you be shocked that the song will be used during a subplot (SUBPLOT! NOT MAIN PLOT) about sex? Characters in the episode made it repeatedly clear that Madonna's music represented being independent and powerful, making and owning choices, and re-inventing oneself. Nowhere was it stated, either covertly or overtly, that it's all right and/or expected for a person to sleep with whomever they happen to meet. (Two girls state that they "never say no", but they are also cast as bimbos/villians, and have never been presented as characters with whom we, the audience, are expected to sympathize.) The sex subplot involves three couples who all state their intention to have sex. However, after singing "Like a Virgin", the fallout is not "Sex is great! Be promiscuous!" it's: 1) didn't happen, not ready, don't want to do this for the wrong reasons, 2) didn't happen, fix problems first and don't expect sex to fix them for you, and 3) happened, but was meaningless and unenjoyable because their was no emotional connection for the participants. For two of the couples, the guy was also shown as supportive when the girl changed her mind about having sex. For mainstream TV, these seem like pretty radical (and positive) conclusions.

Am I nuts? I don't mind discussions about sex, especially when they are apropos and include messages like "don't do it if you're not ready, or just because someone else wants you to, or because you think it will fix or change something, or to make another person jealous. Make your own decisions - take charge of your life and your body, and be supportive and respectful of the decisions others make." There is no reference to any kind of religious aspect of the discussion - but again, it's mainstream TV. I'm not sure that anyone could legitimately expect there would be. I believe that sex should wait until marriage, and I'm not watching prime-time television shows with the expectation that anyone on them will agree with me. I do appreciate the empowering, counter-culture messages that are sometimes sent - I realize that in today's world, those messages may be the closest thing to moral instruction that much of society will receive.

And since depictions of sex (or, in this case, intent to have sex) are counter to the beliefs and standards of many people, I am not recommending that anyone go and watch Glee, or trying to change anyone's mind. I'm just a little baffled that lots of people seem to be getting such different messages than the ones that are coming across to me. No offense intended - but if we can't talk about things, how are we ever supposed to learn?