Sunday Snippet (and 30 Days Challenge Update)

Today in Sunday School we talked about 2 Nephi 4, and specifically focused on 'Nephi's Psalm' (verses 15-30). Nephi talks about his delight in the scriptures and the things of the Lord, then goes on immediately to bemoan his imperfections and his sorrow over his sins and mistakes. Then he moves back to listing his blessings and the wonderful things Heavenly Father had done for him. It's an interesting pattern, this moving back and forth, and the discussion generated a couple of points in particular that stuck with me. One was that gratitude is the foundation/key/essential element to happiness. When we focus on all that we have and the ways in which the Lord has blessed, protected, and looked out for us rather than on trials and difficulties (big and small), we invariably become happier. The more we practice gratitude, the happier we are. It doesn't take away the trials, but it does certainly help in the enduring of them. (It just occurred to me, as well, that practicing gratitude could be a really good way to avoid sin - if I'm constantly 'pondering in my heart' how thankful I am for the One who has set the rules, I think I'd be a lot less likely to have the time or inclination to break the rules. Huh.)

Another wonderful point was an excellent analogy that came from the discussion: a class member talked about how before departing on any flight (London to New York was the example) a pilot will file a flight plan. Upon takeoff, the plane pretty much immediately deviates from that plan. The pilot compensates to try to get the plane back on course, and often overcorrects slightly in the opposite direction. And so on, for the entirety of the flight: back and forth, one side to the other, criss-crossing the imaginary line that is the flight plan. The closer the pilot can stay to that line, the better, even though there's really no way to actually stick perfectly to the plan. The pilot constantly tries anyway. And in the end, he lands safely at the airport in New York, his intended destination. In 2 Nephi 4 Nephi describes his own small 'course deviations' that lead him slightly off the course the Lord has set, but he knows that in the end all will be well because he trusts in God, repents of his mistakes, and strives to be better. He is grateful, and happy, and reaches the right destination.

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And then the bishop asked me to play in Sacrament Meeting about 15 seconds before starting the meeting. Honestly, I was furious - not so much at the bishop as at the usual accompanist, who had walked out the door two minutes earlier without bothering to try to get a replacement himself. To his credit, the bishop did say that it was perfectly all right if I didn't want to play for the meeting, but I knew I'd feel even guiltier about not playing than I felt stressed about the accompanying. And I decided, between trying to fumble my way through the hymns, that it was time for me to get over it. I can't change the ward, I can't make people be responsible (or even considerate), but I can alleviate my own anxiety by sucking it up, killing my own sense of self-importance, and practicing until I feel comfortable playing whatever is asked. I'd much rather (I realized) feel willing and happy to step in and help whenever needed than stew in an irritated-and-grumpy soup. After all, I'm not going to be here forever, and I have asked for help - if I can't change them, I'll just have to change me. No more guilt, much less at-the-moment stress, AND I may finally be a credit to all those years of piano lessons and Mom's creative rehearsal schedules! I'd be an idiot to let them go to waste by being snippy.

Now I just have to formulate the new goal for additional practice time into a 30-day Challenge, and it will be all kinds of official!

Speaking of, the no-chocolate is still going well, and I'm finally starting to stop thinking and talking about it. It's weird, how much of a habit lingers in the talking, even if you're not actually doing it anymore... Another month and a half until Easter - at which point I may not even want to take a break for a candy bar (or a Cadbury egg). We'll see. The journalling didn't go as well - I missed two or three days out of the first 25 or so, and then petered out at the end. I figured I'd need to start over as another 30DC, but I haven't missed it or felt any urgency to get the (good) habit set, so it may have to recycle a little way down the list. I have started a new shot at getting into a better sleeping pattern by being in bed by 11 and up by 7 at least 5 nights a week - made it last night, and then slept terribly with really weird, vivid dreams (and not fun ones; just creepy). Better luck tonight, I hope! And then I'm going to have to pick one of the more interesting 30DC's to try - I wonder where I can find a ukelele in this town...

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