Strange

Chocolate is strange.

Today I was sitting on the bus, having just finished a grueling 15-page-4,800-word-theoretical (the essay was actual, but the research was all about theory) paper on representative politics in Sophocles' Antigone, eating a frozen smuggled Twinkie - I figured I deserved it. (And by 'smuggled' I mean 'sent all legally and above-board through the Royal Mail, properly marked and taxed yes sir'.) And then I found I didn't want it! I was happy to have it, of course, as it made me think of Monika, who sent me the lovely box of Twinkies last week*, but I wasn't as excited to eat it as I usually am re: sugary/creamy/baked goodness.

I mean, what's up with that?

I blame chocolate.

As you may have heard, I've given up chocolate for the year, and the first month has gone much better than anyone would have expected. (By 'anyone' I mean 'me', and by 'better' I mean 'without any screaming withdrawal migraines'.) It's been nearly 32 days, and this past Sunday when my Visiting Teaching companion was eating a Cadbury bar while standing three feet away I didn't even flinch. Or lean in, in the hopes of catching stray crumbs or even the calorie-laden fragrance. I just didn't care. THIS IS NEW.

As long as pretty much anyone can remember I've been the go-to girl for chocolate - I was worried when school started after Christmas break that my coursemates wouldn't recognize me without a candy bar in hand and biscuits (that's 'cookies' to most of you) on the desk. The average response when I tell someone I've quit cold turkey is 'WHY?!?', and it takes a few minutes before they stop looking like a grassy alien has sprung, fully formed, from the side of my head.

'Oh, come on,' they say, 'there's nothing wrong with chocolate. Why deny yourself?'

'Sure,' I say, 'it's no big deal, or anything - I mean, I was only eating two or three candy bars a day, and I couldn't leave the house without making sure there was a chocolate-covered something-or-other in my lunch bag as well as my backpack. I thought about it, I talked about it, I was constantly providing it for other people... not a problem at all!'

'Huh,' they say. (The grassy alien doesn't usually say anything.)

'And besides,' I say, 'In the month since I've given it up, I've lost probably six pounds - and there's no extra exercise in there, believe you me! Look! Cheekbones!'

'...', they say.

I have a theory that part of the reason I was able to give it up relatively easily this time (yes, I've tried before, and no, I've never made it this far) was because I had largely weaned myself off the cheap stuff. I had moved on to dark chocolate, and not just grocery-store dark chocolate, DESIGNER dark chocolate. I seem to remember hearing somewhere that it's a little easier to get clean off of really high-quality drugs because (other than the drug) there's not as much junk in there to mess up and weaken your body**. So when I decided to quit, it was simpler for my body to clear it out since it had all been high-quality ingredients. That, or the sticker price on the boutique chocolates shocked my system into sobriety... Just a theory. ***

Besides the fact that my face has evidently dropped six pounds and I have a little extra grocery money for vegetables and such (Mama's buyin' a farm, y'all!) it turns out that when chocolate is the main vehicle for your sugar consumption, you also eat a lot less sugar when you stop eating chocolate. And when you stop eating as much sugar, you stop craving it. I mean honestly, those Twinkies have been in the freezer for a WEEK. Who would have thought it possible? (And there are still more in there. I KNOW.)

I have been making a lot of pie dough cookies lately, but apparently cinnamon, sugar, and shortening aren't nearly as bad for you as a chocolate bar. Maybe it's the fact that I have to bake them first... Ooh, new diet plan - less exercise, more baking! It could work.****

See? Strange.

Also strange: the lady on the bus wearing Kelly green leggings with jean-style pockets on the backside. Leggings with pockets?!? What fresh new horror is THIS? You're in leggings, all your bumps are already out for public perusal. And then are you honestly considering ADDING MORE by putting things in your back pockets?!? (Which, really, should be looked at practically: how does anything in a stretch-jersey pocket on your bum stay in the pocket? Are you just going to stand around with a lumpy rear the entire day, or risk leaving a trail of smart phones and iPods and feminine products everywhere you go? This ISN'T 'Hansel and Gretel', lady... WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?)

I would blame chocolate, but at present I find I can't be bothered.

Which is SUCH a relief.






*Monika, there was much joy and rejoicing in Canterbury when I got your package - most of my friends (I let them have one Twinkie each, I usually shared the package with them) got one (including this dreamy boy... le sigh) and are now jealous that I grew up in a place where Twinkies run wild (not free, but still). Seriously, you're the best - you've guaranteed my popularity at least until Valentine's.

** I am NOT suggesting anyone do drugs. AT ALL. DON'T.

*** STILL DON'T DO DRUGS. WAAAAY more expensive than chocolate. I've heard.

****Okay, only if you have to walk five miles to your grandma's house every time you want to do the baking, but still.

*

Happies

Naturally, with  a title like that, this post will include references to chocolate. (Naturally.)

I have a hunch that the Lord is compensating for me hating to leave the States and come back to London by helping me to be quite a bit happier than usual now that I'm here. It's been sunny (for a day or two right when I got back it was actually a little too warm to be comfortable, but now it's cooled off to where I can have the window open all day (with nifty improvised screening!) and snuggle cozily in my bed at night. SO. NICE), I've managed to get a little work done, I've stopped feeling bad about staying up late, and I've done a few really fun things.

Today I ran a quick errand to the school, then bused-and-Tubed up to a movie theatre I hadn't tried before in the hopes of catching the first showing of the day of Thor (evidently, sometimes the first showing has a little better matinee discount) ((also, don't mock - it's getting good reviews and you know you're going to go see it, too)). I was trying for the 2D version, as the 3D doesn't seem to have much point. The cineplex is in a London "village" called Muswell Hill, and it's actually right on the bus route I take to get to church. Turns out the online movie times were wrong, and the first showing wasn't until 3:30... so I took the opportunity to walk around, check out the charity shops, and have lunch at a pub/pizza place I'd been eyeing every time the bus drove past it on Sundays. I had a couple of books with me (surprise) and at least one of them was even a school book - so I ate pizza and read and felt productive and it was good.  A few more shops, then a stop at a cafe for a hot chocolate (sunny, but the breeze today was a little chilly) and check it out...

... IT'S SO PRETTY. Still not the greatest hot chocolate (Stephen's owns me) but it's not bad and I'm getting used to it and everything's easier when it's pretty. (Amen.) Happy!

Then I headed over to the movie; it wasn't advertised as 3D, but that's what it ended up being. (Grumble.) I bought the glasses (apparently I could have brought my own - now I know) and headed in. People: this right here is a good time.

Not my favorite poster ever, but I wanted to make sure you recognized the main character. You do, right? Kirk's dad from Star Trek! Who saves everybody and then dies in the first 10 minutes! Who is totally hot and loveable and noble and stuff! And who also (as evidenced by Thor) is incredibly ripped as well as a solid, charismatic actor. I'm good with all of those choices, personally. I'm also good with this movie. It was directed by Kenneth Branaugh, which is a little left field but really really works. The script is smart, the whole thing looks good, and the chemistry is off-the-charts. (Okay, the one plot-transitional flashback is choppy and the fight scenes are - literally - shaky, but other than that... Who knew?)

Everybody sold their characters, the feeling of the whole was consistent with the other pre-Avengers movies (Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk ((?)) ), and it was really a lot of fun. I didn't mind the 3D, though I wouldn't recommend it, and I could have easily sat through another 20 minutes. (Psst - stay through the end credits.) I may not see it again in the theatre, but that's only because movies here are so expensive, not because I wouldn't. I still might. First, though, I have to go re-watch Star Trek.

Another happy for the day:

That's right - not only do they have Bounty bars over here, they have ICE CREAM Bounty bars. Seriously seriously happy.




And, because it's law or something that nothing written this week may not mention a particular event that's happening on Friday, here's this:

Yes, those are corgies munching on the wedding cake, which I feel is only too appropriate. And funny. Apparently, people are knitting dolls of the wedding party (you should be able to purchase patterns next week!) so it's fortunate this cake topper didn't go that route. I don't know that this makes me happy, but it does make me giggle! Close enough.

Resolution Reborn

It's been seven full days with no chocolate (and a severely reduced other-sugar intake) and no one has died.


At least, not because of me.

Son, Be A Dentist...

Today was awesome because:

- it was a good hair day.

- I had a really yummy lunch with friends, and there was enough left over to make a just-as-tasty dinner.

- my bestest friend gave me Glee for my birthday present - and she did it after risking life and limb and barely surviving a Costco flash mob when a shipment of the DVDs suddenly came available.

- I got a very nice raise, my second day on the job. (Awww, yeah.)

- I still have several pounds of solid Cadbury chocolate sitting on the kitchen counter... It still isn't open, which is good, but it could be at any moment, which is better.

- it finished off with mad PowerPoint skills and Girl Scout Cookie Samoa Ice Cream. (Projecting a little here...) (Must restock ice cream ASAP.)

*happy sigh*

Easter Vampire

Step off, Bella - THIS is MY brand of heroin!

My one true love. (One-sided, sure, but it does tend to stick around, even after the holiday...)

Day 8 - Bonus Warning

If anyone gets anywhere near me with the bouquet tomorrow night, I will cry. I'm starting to have an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

I fully expect to keep myself doped up on a combination of Advil and M&M's all day - but I did go to two different grocery stores tonight to find the pink "For the Cure" candies so that at least I could keep my "crack" matching the wedding colors.

I saw my fake boyfriend tonight - and since he is married, we agreed that my status would now be "Ex-fake girlfriend" since "Fake ex-girlfriend" could get confusing.

For some reason, I feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a fork. I won't - I just bought a couple of pounds of chocolate - but I feel like it. Please tell me it's just the anxiety, and it'll pass... (Could be sarcasm, but I don't think that'll go away.)