The Once-Every-Four-Years Post (Starting Today)

In which we shall see: A frog, a history lesson, and woo-pitching.

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It's been a fun two weeks of blogging, and I'm excited that my half-month anniversary is being commemorated with AN EXTRA DAY. So cool! Thanks, Universe! (Or whatever governmental-scientist type - possibly Ancient Roman - decided there should be another day here every four years to balance out the calendar.)

Last night I had some really great pizza, got some excellent book recommendations, made a date with a younger man in three months (at which point he's legal), and saw the hilarity that is The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (the Musical). It was a good night.

Promise for the day: If I meet someone I might like to date, I WILL ask him out today. Evidently, it's allowed.

In the English speaking world, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years. Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to £1 to a silk gown, in order to soften the blow. Because men felt that put them at too great a risk, the tradition was in some places tightened to restricting female proposals to the modern leap day, 29 February. According to Felten: "A play from the turn of the 17th century, 'The Maydes Metamorphosis,' has it that 'this is leape year/women wear breeches.' A few hundred years later, breeches wouldn't do at all: Women looking to take advantage of their opportunity to pitch woo were expected to wear a scarlet petticoat -- fair warning, if you will." (Thank you , Wikipedia!)

"Pitch woo." How, exactly, does one pitch woo? Is it like a softball? I'm guessing there's definitely a wind-up involved...

Gentlemen, take cover (or, if you'd rather, make yourselves as visible as possible) - could be more surprises dropping on your heads today than just turtles!

Watch out for... whatever,

Cyd

Days I've gone without chocolate: 5

Stupid things I plan to NOT do today: 1

Plays I've seen this week: 2

Plays I'll be seeing next week: 4

Two-fers

In which we shall see: a bunch of "twos" about ME. There will be a quiz later.

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Two Names You Go By: "C", Reese
Things You Are Wearing Right Now: b&w paisley-print dress, black jacket, black "hooker" boots (my favorite!), silver jewelry
Two Things You Want (or have) in a Relationship: Intellectual stimulation/cuddling, laughter/money (see what I did there?)
Two of Your Favorite Things to Do: Reading and camping
Two Things You Did Last Night: Went to the library, blogged
Two People You Talked to Last Night: Melanie, Bart
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow: workout, class prep
Two Longest Car Rides: Salt Lake to Canada (by way of St. Louis and New York)... and nothing really compares to that one
Two Favorite Holidays: Arbor Day, National Cheese Day (there is a National Cheese Day, right?)
Two Favorite Drinks: Hot Chocolate (Raspberry), Peach Fresca
Two Things About Me You May Not Have Known: I have a Godzilla costume at home, and I know who I'm supposed to marry
Two Jobs I Have Had in My Life: phone surveys (giving, not taking), truffle packaging
Two Movies I Would Watch Over and Over: (Only two??!?) Lord of the Rings (ha!), Pride & Prejudice
Two of My Favorite Foods: Ice cream... and ice cream
Two Places I'd Rather Be Right Now: Bora Bora (it just SOUNDS awesome), Spain/Italy (tie)
Five People I Am Tagging: Kathy, Monika, Becca, Paul, Preston (dude, you SO should be blogging!)

Watch out for falling turtles,

Cyd


Meaningful phone/text conversations I've had today: 2
Days I've gone without chocolate: 4
Trips to Oregon I planned today: 1
Things I lied about in this post: 1 (Guess!)

Tips for Triumph: No Libyan Terrorists, Please

I'm officially establishing, as a feature of this blog, an outlet for day-to-day living advice that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, boost your love life, make you smarter AND more sensitive, and (FDA approval pending) lower your cholesterol.

Today's edition: Open Communication

If someone should invite you to a particular activity (say, a girl invites a guy to a show strictly on a platonic basis, though girl and guy may not know each other all that well and guy may be unsure of the purity of her platonic intent - I'm guessing, here) PLEASE respond honestly, clearly, tactfully, and in a timely fashion. Bluntness is fine, if it's accompanied by restraint ("I wouldn't go anywhere with you if a Libyan terrorist had a gun to my head" is almost never an appropriate response) and a pleasant tone of voice. Telling her that you need to think about it, and then thinking about it for so long that you A) completely forget the invitation, risking her embarrassment at having to ask you again, or B) hope she'll forget she asked you (which she won't), risking embarrassment for both of you when she asks you again and you then have to come up with an answer, is usually not a good idea. Instead, here are some simple, workable responses.

OPTION 1: "Sure, why not? Sounds like fun."
OPTION 2: "Thanks for the invite, but (particular activity) is not my thing. Have a good time without me, though!"
OPTION 3: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you - is tomorrow OK?" (This option is only viable if you actually do the follow-up!)
- Follow-up OPTION 1: "Looks like I can make it - what were the details?"
- Follow-up OPTION 2: "I'm sorry, I'm busy that night - thanks for the invite!"

See how simple those responses are, rather than dragging it out for DAYS ON END? Do not cave to pressure, real or perceived - relax, be honest, be casual, and nobody goes home with a cleaver-stabbed pumpkin. "Let me think about it" does not spare anyone's feelings, and being blunt (kindly) with a negative response may cause a little twinge but will allow everyone to move on. Chances are a "No" won't particularly sting at all - but twisting up a person's potential social calendar because you're a pansy WILL come back to bite you.

Trust me on this.

Got a question for which you'd like a Triumph Tip? Submit them here!

Bonus Content #2

Since I really am making an effort to avoid romantic comedies, my new procrastination enabler/down-time-filler is MacGyver. I just started on Season Three, and people - that's good stuff. The mullet hasn't gotten out of control yet, Jack Dalton apparently knows "real" magic, and there's no telling if Mac will EVER be able to keep the girl. Get her, sure, almost every episode - but as always, the girl he rescues/falls for/kisses is the one who will get shot, married, and/or shipped back to her mother country. I don't really get it - what girl in her right mind would spend 5 minutes with Richard Dean Anderson and NOT start planning the immediate trip to Vegas?

And the action is fun, too, especially with the completely cheesy soundtrack... Seriously - 2nd ep of S3, and Mac and Jack are totally outgunning Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible, and they're doing it with '80's technology. Awesome. (Also, as a side note, I love the first episode of the Stargate series when RDA comes on as Jack O'Neill, and Amanda Tapping's brainiac scientist tells him that to get the Stargate system working they totally had to "macgyver" it - the cut to him for his reaction shot is PRICELESS.)

So, just for kicks (and to prove I can put up a manageable - read: short** - post) here's a list of lessons learned from the 80's poster child for making do with what you've got:

* There's nothing you can't do if you have a Swiss Army Knife, a roll of duct tape, and your wits.

* Beware of beautiful women who take a sudden interest in you.

* Watch out for one-name people who are masters of disguise.

* Be careful where you take your vacations. A relative's cabin isn't safe if your nemesis is a ruthless dictator with a small army.

* Nice guys don't always finish last.

* Any problem can be solved with a little ingenuity.

* When people are shooting at you, duck!

* It's okay to say "ow" when you get hurt.

* Sleep in your shoes.

* Love can sure affect productivity.

* There's a time to be Daniel Boone, and a time to be a plumber.

* A legend has to start someplace.

* When in doubt, simplify it!

* There should always be a little margin for error.

* A little misdirection never hurt.

* The best partners are the ones you always seem to fight with.

* Computer nerds can be quite attractive underneath their glasses.

* Wanting to get caught is kind of a dumb plan.

* All men look good in a tux.

Anyone want to do a MacGMarathon? Brains, brawn, and bad hair... what more could you want?

(**relatively short)

Shock Therapy

In which we shall see: New Year's resolutions, Chinese New Year's resolutions, mental and physical health resolutions, career resolutions, and flying lessons

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You know how sometimes you're thinking about all kinds of different things, like brightly-colored balls rolling around in your head, and then they suddenly snap together under one common theme (or in this case, the right blog title)? Here they are...

Last year I made all kinds of fabulous New Year's Resolutions, which, if followed, would have resulted in a completely unrecognizable ME. None of the resolutions were accomplished, and very few of them stuck around more than a few weeks (I think the last had its death-throes around May.) This year, I was much more realistic, opting for simplicity and general positivity. These, on the whole, died even faster than last year.

(Though I am happy to report that I HAVE in fact flossed my teeth every day this year so far. It's well on it's way to becoming habit!)

Then, just a few weeks ago, I was struck with the realization that if anything was going to change, it had better start changing NOW (they weren't kidding when they said the metabolism would shift drastically at 34, and I think my backside gave up the fight as soon as I blew out the candles). I found that I was getting way too wrapped up in "romantic comedies" (kissing scenes in particular - no analyzing, please), to the point that my actual work was suffering, and I started formulating a plan. I watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" late Saturday night and cleared out my DVD shelf the following morning, packing all "romantic" movies in a box to store away for a month. (Plus side: I have more cool action movies, sci-fi, and drama flicks than I thought! And I can read all the titles now!) This is an experiment to see if I can focus more and procrastinate less without all that mental cotton candy sitting around - and hopefully, get away from the media perception of the perfect, "fairy-tale" romance. Hogwash, and all that...

That same day I got a text message from my youngest brother - 21, and home from his mission since June. He asked if I was coming to dinner with the family, and that I should "really consider" (dang, there are a lot of quotation marks in this post) attending. Naturally, my ears perked up and I started sniffing the air suspiciously... a quick check of his Facebook page (hey, we're friends) showed that he had "finally found a girl who understood him." I was deeply surprised at how emotional I got to think that my youngest brother - and honestly, more to the point, last single sibling - might be engaged. Now, it isn't like this was a new idea - not long after he got home I suggested that with my track record he was LIKELY to get married before I did! I'm the second of six children, and the other four are all married with kids of their own, so it's not like I'm not used to the concept. So there I was, surprised, crying, AND trying to put on makeup. (Tip: NOT a good idea to try to use a tissue and a mascara wand at the same time!) Anyway, when I finally pulled myself together I came to the conclusion that since it was looking less and less likely I'd be married anytime soon, and more and more likely that the other five siblings would, it was up to me to become famous instead. It's amazing how steadying that thought was!

Along with that thought came the conviction that it really IS time to change. So I boxed up the movies, made sure all the ice cream is gone, and started planning my application for a new job. I went to the gym last night (even with a headache - after a day of no chocolate AT ALL) and even when I couldn't get into the spin class I stayed and ran on the treadmill for nearly an hour. This morning I got up and went back to the gym, and I'm in Day Two of no chocolate (and almost no sugar). I got out this afternoon for a quick walk, and coming back I realized that with a little luck this "shock therapy" of exercise and better food, plus more sleep and less TV/movies might be just the thing to jolt my system and help me sustain some real life changes (and get me back into half my wardrobe).

The plan for fame is slowly coming around - I see now that I really want to DO something, to contribute and educate and affect other things. My strongest area right now seems to be theatre, so it's time for a re-commitment to becoming a dramaturg, and finding the way to do it. (For all that I get distracted remarkably easily, this is one idea that has stuck for quite a while. Must be something to it.) So I have this blog to work on writing and formulating skills, exercise and diet for physical help (I'm trying for a workout every day this week, just to see if it makes a difference - since I still HATE exercising! Gotta find a dance class or something!) and cutting out movies and fluffy books to work on my focus and follow-through. After that, the job and future classes are on the board... stay tuned for updates! (Also, I've got a blind date this Saturday - and if that's not motivating, NOTHING is.)

I'm (not) "gonna live forever", but I might just "learn how to fly..." Heck, why not?

(Oh, and my little brother isn't currently engaged; he actually got a new truck and wanted to show it off. Of course, he left the house to go visit the girl he's been dating for the past three weeks - a record - before I could see it and has since asked all of us - his siblings - to introduce ourselves to the young lady via email... Fame it is! And I gave up being a bridesmaid a loooong time ago!)

Watch out for falling turtles,

Cyd

Meaningful phone conversations I've had today: 0
Days I've gone without chocolate: 1.5
Days I've worked out this week: 2
Plays my schedule says I'll be seeing in the next two weeks: 4

Green, Yellow, .... (Brake Really Hard)

In which we shall see: Speed (not THAT kind), an extended metaphor, an epiphany, a Sidebar including MoTab, a brick wall, a potential remake of Thelma and Louise, common sense, a guest appearance by my mother, a PSA, and the rock album of the (last) year.

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I like to drive fast. Fortunately, my slightly oversized Matchbox car doesn't have much gumption, so even the fact that I am a "woman driver" doesn't inspire a lot of fear. Speed is my friend and therefore stoplights are not - unfortunately, I happen to have the worst timing KNOWN TO MAN. If I'm in anything remotely resembling even the teensy-tiniest little bit of a hurry (which, let's face it, is normal for me), 98% of the lights I encounter WILL be red. Even having lived with this timing problem for years has not mellowed me to its effects - sometimes I'll gun through yellow/blushing/actually red lights just for spite, not because I really need to be somewhere. (And those timing issues apply to relationships, too... Wait, yes, that is a topic for another post. Or 50.)

So I'm out driving tonight (Daughtry CD blaring) and I'm coming up to a light, and oh! - it turned red! and I accepted the moment with a brief mental sigh rather than a spurt of blood-vessel-popping road rage (my more usual M.O. - I REALLY hate waiting). As I came to a stop, a flash of mental clarity came to me, and I spent the rest of the drive pondering a new idea. (cont. below)

(SIDEBAR: These introspective episodes seem to be happening more frequently since I started this blog - what with the whole "wanting to find something interesting to say" motivation growing, and all. Could it be that I'm finally starting to gain a better understanding of myself and those around me? Could true enlightenment be far away? Could the Blog really be such a powerful tool? *chorus: "Laaaaaaa!"* Within the next few posts, we may find out!)

(cont.) I wondered: maybe stoplights aren't such a bad thing. Sure, they choke me up and get in the way (hate waiting!), but they're also probably keeping me safe. I have been known to zone out and get distracted (I'm famous for U-turns in my family), and I do go a little too fast now and then, so it could be a good thing to be checked and slowed. That stoplight is a breather, a chance to become re-aware of my location and the other drivers around me... Without lights I might not ever get to where I'm trying to go, since I'm most often trying to so quickly get to where I want to be that I lose track of landmarks and roads and the nitty-gritty of HOW to get there. When I stop I can check the directions AND scan for street signs! Bonus!

Then I thought: maybe my life is like that, too. I hate waiting, and I hate feeling like I'm being checked up in getting to what I want to do - but when I look back I can see that if I hadn't been pulled up short on a regular basis I could be on a very different, much less pleasant, road. Case in point - (Warning: awkward confessional ahead) a while ago I found myself rushing into a situation and ignoring the yellow lights flashing madly from all sides. I knew it was stupid, and inappropriate, and unacceptable... and I didn't care. I was going in anyway. Until I came up to a red light masquerading as a brick wall - then I stopped, and threw one heckuva temper tantrum... I wanted to be stupid! I wanted to throw caution (and better judgement) to the winds, and I was mad that I wasn't going to be ALLOWED to make a destructive idiot of myself! It took me a few minutes to calm down and realize I was still being an idiot - I was just doing it at zero MPH instead of 120. I learned it's much easier to repent of a temper tantrum than from gleefully driving yourself over a cliff, and I quickly became grateful for the enforced halt.

Impulsiveness and need-for-speed do not make a great combination. If I didn't have an ingrained respect for the rules of the road (and, OK, cops make me nervous) I'd be in a lot more trouble out there on a regular basis. The Lord doesn't often step in and yank us to a halt - instead He gives laws and signs and other kinds of traffic officers (as well as our own hearts and minds and - underused - common sense) to guide and keep us safe. If a red light comes up suddenly as I'm careening through life, maybe it's because I'm missing something important along the way, or maybe I'm heading the wrong direction when I need to take stock and try another route. I really like yellow lights when I see them from a couple of blocks away; I know that if I slow down just a little, the light will have gone to red and then back to green by the time I get there, and I can cruise on through. So if I can learn to look a little farther ahead, I might be able to smooth out the day-to-day details of living...

When I started driving, I remember my mother (yes, mother) telling me that to navigate a turn I had to look a ways out in front of the car, and NOT directly at the road immediately ahead. If I did that, the car would turn smoothly, and I'd have a better view of what was coming. Mom's a pretty good driver - I don't like her to borrow my car, of course, since she always moves the seat, but she's not bad out on the road. Her advice has served me well - and may continue to help me along my way to a more congenial relationship with stoplights. As for the timing issues - well, eventually I'll learn to suck it up and give myself a little more space... It couldn't hurt!

In conclusion: wear your seatbelt. Also, the Daughtry album is EXCELLENT.

Watch out for falling turtles,

Cyd


Meaningful phone calls I made today: 0
Ageist Facebook conversation I had today: 1 (love ya, Greg!)
Thing I did today that was stupid, yet "unavoidable": 1
Resolutions I made today: 4 (more on these later)

What do Dolly Parton, Colbie Callait, and Irving Berlin Have in Common?

In which we shall see: The Little Things

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Some days, it's just that day when you need a little extra boost, a tiny reality check to keep you going, a chance to re-evaluate and take stock and a deep breath. Some days it isn't that day - but some days it is. Either way, here's a brief list of a few things I'm grateful for today...

- big green chair
- New Jersey / New York
- books
- Georgia
- the color blue
- older brother
- music
- freckles
- Superman / gardens
- roomate
- roomate on vacation
- scriptures
- cell phone
- Fact that I don't particularly like cheesecake
- sunshine
- lunar eclipses
- books
- younger brothers
- lyrics
- cell phone charger
- Grandma's art
- non-Creepy Guys
- high-schoolers (not biologically mine, of course)
- reference materials
- (being a total geek)
- Sunday School class
- sister
- nieces and nephews (so glad to VISIT)
- books
- sparkly things
- the Internet; for helping to provide endless ways to procrastinate!

And much, much more...


Watch out for falling turtles,

Cyd


Meaningful phone conversations I had today: 2
Things I ruthlessly squashed today: 1
Stupid things I could have done today, but didn't: 1 (praise all the PTB)
Times I thought about the Christmas socks I was wearing today: 4, maybe?