Adult Content

Warning: the following post will be rant-y, and a little bit high-horse-y, and will go over some things that (in an ideal world) your average 15-year-old knows nothing about. There won't be any swears (I don't think) or inappropriate pictures of people doing inappropriate things, and content will stay (as they say) Safe For Work. Still, it is 'Adult Only' stuff. (Oh, and males will most likely not want to read on, either.) You've been warned.

But come on - if you can't rant and rave and wax self-righteously philosophical (I'm not saying that WILL happen, it's just a possibility) to the larger of-age public over the Interwebs, who can you rant to?







* * * * *


I'll say this just one more time: tights are not pants. (Or, more alliteratively for the English among us, - if any are still reading - 'Tights are not trousers.') The fiasco at BYU-Idaho over a girl being kicked out of the testing center for wearing skinny jeans has been ridiculous, of course, but at least people are talking about what actually comprises modesty. I have my own opinion of skinny jeans, but while they are generally very, um, slim-fitting (occasionally to the point of wrinkling and rolling at the slightest movement, like, say, breathing) at least the denim usually keeps other things from becoming apparent. (The abomination known as 'jeggings' will never, ever enter the 'jeans' category. Or the 'cute in any context at all' category.)

On the bus the other day there was a girl wearing a puffy coat and full-head fur hat - and leggings that were probably actually tights, as I think I could have drawn the pattern of the lace of her underwear even though she was sitting several rows away. That is far too much information for public consumption! Also, it's just plain stupid if the rest of you is bundled up for a trip to the Antarctic. Please, please, let us resist the madness and not forget that at its heart, modesty means making sure that everything you've got (or even just part of what you've got) is not on FULL display. It's kind of like the prize case at Chuck E. Cheese: every last option for you to redeem your Skee-ball tickets is there in bright, garish color, but after a few minutes you realize it's all just cheap crap. (Oh, yeah, I said it.) More flattering lighting, less junk competing for attention, some elegant drapery, a little mystery - when it's not handed out all willy-nilly, suddenly the value goes WAY up. Plus it just looks better. (And helps prevent pneumonia.)

Modesty: The Great Multi-Tasker.

* * *

For some reason, this week at church I realized that I would have made a really fantastic mother. I would have taught responsibility, and fun, and self-worth, and an awareness of the larger world, and serving others, and all those things that would make happy, secure, productive, community-minded individuals. I also realized it's just not going to happen. My time and the Lord's time are not the same, I get that, but in my time (biologically speaking) the end is nigh. I'm no Sarah in the desert, and I certainly haven't got an Abraham. I'm giving it one more year (maybe two, 40 is a nice round number) before letting go completely. After that - well, I don't want to think about that for just a little while longer.

See? Adult. Kids just don't get this stuff.

* * *

I was going to do a whole section here on obscenity, the 'big one' in particular, and how useless and moronic society has made the word SO CAN EVERYONE PLEASE JUST STOP USING IT SO UGLY LAZY GAH, particularly the 10-year-old kid this morning who tossed it off like it was a lyric from the Muppet Show who couldn't honestly have had any real conception of what the word actually MEANS.

And then I decided that that would probably make it's own post at some point in the future, so I stopped.

* * *

A few days ago a got a letter from the campus medical centre recommending that I come in for a pap smear. I can barely remember the last one, so I figured a) things wouldn't be as busy now that the term is over, and b) I could also try for a general checkup as well as suggestions for a dermatologist and an osteopath while I was there. (Note: Honestly, it's completely ridiculous that I'm nearly 38 and still have the complexion of a pizza-faced teenager. If I have to keep the skin I'd like to have the body and metabolism as well, thank you very much.) I went in for my appointment today and learned a few interesting things: namely, medical professionals the world over don't register a person telling them they don't have sex. It just doesn't hit their radar. Granted, this is a college campus, but it took three different references to 'intercourse' (from the nurse) and an explanation (on my part) about the difficulties with the physical exam before she understood that I haven't had sex. Ever. I think she nearly fell out of her chair when it finally came clear. The good news is that the chances of me ever developing cervical cancer are practically nil, and my next appointment for a pap smear will definitely come on a 'you call us, we won't call you' basis.

It makes me a little angry, and a little sad, that this experience was so shocking for the nurse. SURELY there are other people out there living by standards other than those society has devolved to. Surely it's even more unreasonable to assume that I'm the only virgin at the University - though judging from the nurse's reaction, she hasn't seen any of the rest come through the medical centre! (Which in some ways stands to reason, I suppose, as there are fewer health problems to worry about.) It was just another shock to her system when she also heard I don't smoke or drink - 'Where are you from?' she asked. I felt like saying 'Another planet, evidently', but instead just stuck with 'Salt Lake City, UT.' There are far more accurate responses I could have made, but the poor woman had had enough trauma for one day.

* * *

Whew! Now I'm worn out. It's OK if nobody actually read this all the way through (you sensitive souls, you) I just needed to tell somebody. Well, 'somebody'.






If you are still here, look! There's a 'Coming Soon!' And it's for Christmas movie reviews and an awesome sugar cookie design and things which are much more merry and bright (and family-friendly)!

*